The Baby Bump Blog

twinning

2012-01-25T08:49:00.000-08:00

An expression used to describe unrelated children in a family whose birth dates are less than 9 months apart.

benefits:

you know that stage well.
you have and are parenting a child that age already
sharing toys and clothes (especially if the twin is the same sex/size)
can be easier to bond
built-in playmate
helps the adopted child feel even more connected to the family
helps the adopted child transition into school since their sibling is in their class and can help them navigate life as a 3/4/5 year old

fears:

too much at once (don't I always say "how do they do it!?" of moms with twins, though primarily I mean in infancy)
competitiveness
potentially confusing for the biological child

Moments with Love, a new blog I found and adore, has a whole series of blogs with the label "twins" chronicling the adventure of their adopted African son and his "twin" sister, their biological daughter. Check it out!

2012-01-25T08:39:00.001-08:00

Moments With Love HD from Dennis Michaelis on Vimeo.

birth order

2012-01-24T20:22:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about birth order lately.
Lily and Oli are only 14.5 months apart, so the chances of us adopting a child (or children) between our two biological kids is slim to nil. Unless we "twinned" a kid, which I don't think we would. More on that later.
Some say interrupting the birth order of your biological children when adopting additional children is a no-no.

Your first born should be your first born, they say.
But that hardly solves the problem of the youngest.
What about the second/last born?
Their birth order is thrown out the window when you adopt children younger than your existing children, and that's supposed to be the solution to the "birth order predicament"?
Did I miss something or is that the exact same scenario, just with a different biological child?

When the time comes for us to adopt, we know a couple of things for certain.
We don't want to adopt a newborn baby.
We don't want or need to parent a child from birth for them to be part of our family and very much ours.
We are open and almost excited about the idea of adopting siblings.
The ideal age range would be between 18 months and 5 years.

But we aren't sure of birth order. If we adopted siblings, would we wait until both of those children were younger than our youngest? That could take a very long time since Oli is only 3 months old. Not that we want to adopt tomorrow, but we also don't want to wait 6 years.
Would we adopt siblings who were both older than Lily and Oli? That might make things harder to integrate.
Would we adopt siblings, one who is older than Lily, and the other younger than Oli?

What do you think?
Would you adopt a child or children older than your bio kids?
Or younger? Or do you even care? Or would you "twin" a kid (adopt one the same age as one of your bio kids)?

required reading...

2012-01-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

I seriously feel that anyone who has the deep desire to be a parent should read this book.

I'm only a couple of chapters in and it is blessing my soul greatly.

adoption in Quebec

2012-01-14T20:05:00.000-08:00

We've decided to start the LONG research phase of our dream to one day adopt. Knowing how long the process will be once we officially begin, the goal is to start by the end of 2012. But right now we're mainly researching our hearts out and praying a lot. What does God have for us? What is his will for our family? Will we adopt? One or two kids? What age(s)? Local or International? Regular or Bank Mixte?

This is what we know so far:

In QC, the two local forms are regular and bank mixte.

Regular is the adoption of a newborn or infant who is born in Quebec. Because abortion is so high here (the highest rate in North America, sadly), there are very few babies available through regular adoption (read: right from the hospital, Juno style). The wait to adopt a healthy Caucasian newborn is 4-8 years. Now, we don't desire to adopt a newborn or have any preference to race, but it's still a long time.

Bank Mixte is the adoption of a child who has been apprehended from an abusive family. This is less appealing to many because the child has "baggage" in the majority of cases. Children in Bank Mixte may have been physically or sexually abused or have health problems. The wait time is considerably less (a week weeks- 24 months), especially if you're open minded about age, race, and health. The child starts off as your foster child until they are eligible for adoptability (if their birth parents have proven unfit for a period of 6 months or more), and once that occurs in 6 months or less the adoption can be finalized. 96% of Bank Mixte adoptions have come to this point, and only 4% of children don't end up with their adoptive parents, but the risk is still there - you can have a child who is, for all intents and purposes, yours, and they may not remain so.

Both forms of local adoption begin at the local Centre Youth, where you register for one of the adoptive programs (Regular or Mixte). I'm still not sure if you can register for both.

There are also two forms of international adoption - from other countries (there are 12 countries a Quebecer can adopt from), and from other provinces (like Ontario), but I'm not sure we'd go that route.

So now we pray. And pray and pray and pray.

Resources:

http://www.adoptiveparents.ca/pq_main.shtml

http://www.adoption.gouv.qc.ca/site/home.phtml

http://www.educaloi.qc.ca/en/loi/parents/154/

adoption pains

2011-12-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

my heart breaks for the author of this blog I just discovered.
she and her husband adopted a baby from birth (the birth mother was incarcerated), loved her for a week as their own, and then the birth father came out of the wood work nullifying the adoption.
she was theirs and then she wasn't.

it reminds me of the uncertainties involved in adoption. it's really a step of faith, like all parenting, but even more so, in many ways.

join me in praying for the baby girl to one day be reunited with her adoptive parents or for a safe future with her seemingly negligent birth father.

pure. utter. heartbreak.

post-birth update

2011-11-10T09:15:00.000-08:00

Just as my pregnancy, labour, and delivery of Oli was quite different than with Lily, I'm finding the same goes for after the fact. Here's some deets!

Pain following birth was substantially less this time around. Could also be by comparison to the pain during birth (that's right, my epidural didn't take and I.felt.everything. but more on that later...)

Pain peeing, passing gass, and going number 2 (you know you were wondering!) was substantially less this time too, if at all.

Post-birth contractions (brought on by nursing) were far worse this time around. And are lasting far longer (as in still goin' strong. ouch.)

Engorgement with breast milk was severe this time. Much more painful, inhibited ability to latch and nurse for days (thankful for a hospital grade pump allowing me to still offer breast milk), and lasted longer

Breast milk production so far has been higher (praise God!), especially now that I'm nursing and/or pumping every 3 hours and engorgement has subsided.

Fatigue is still a huge challenge but also easier this time. Probably because of perspective. Lily needs me and daily naps aren't promised to me, so you adapt.

Emotions are more stable too. Everything was slightly less emotional (in a good way) from labour to birth to adapting to the first week at home. We knew what to expect, we were more prepared, we'd been there before. All huge assets in parenting and in change.

Baby bump is vanishing, far quicker than last time. Not the newly added stretch marks that didn't make an appearance with Lily. I think they're here to stay. Joy.

But my baby bump is nearly gone. Maybe since the uterine contractions are so much stronger? I've heard those contractions are why breastfeeding mothers find their bumps disappear a bit faster.

There you have it! All in all, I'm doing well. Many have asked and I appreciate that so much. We're all working together to make this transition possible but it's definitely hard. I blogged about that over at {our nest in the city} today, check it out if you like.

I'll keep this blog partly because of our desire to adopt (and thus, chart that journey just as we've done so our pregnancies), and partly because though we're 99% sure we're done having biological kids, you never know what God has in store. Thank for following along with me the second time around!

xoxo

Lily & Oli's Mama

Oli

2011-10-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

Olivier (spelled the french way)

Michael (Brad's middle brother)

Robert (Brad's younger brother)

born October 29th @ 7:41pm

thank you Jesus.

aka Oli.

Votes Are In!

2011-10-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

November 2nd is everyone's best guess for LG's arrival and I know some people who couldn't be happier about that -

If LG is born that day, he'll share his birthday with his Poppa - My beloved father in law, Jim :)

(here's Jim and Lily when she was just a few weeks old - what a birthday gift LG would be to him!)

All along when we were given a November 6th due date he's been pulling for that and I think it would be super sweet for his first grandson and he to share a birthday.

We'll see!

glory days

2011-10-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

I've all but forgotten about the elements of pregnancy that are bearable and even fun, and I think it's time I get back there... for the sake of the next 9 (potentially 9+) days.

The 2nd trimester. Ah life.

With a little bump that's big enough to get you positive attention from strangers in stores (such nice people!) and a free seat on the Metro, but small enough to still wear most of your clothes and look super cute.

With a baby who you may have just found out the sex of, so all you're doing is thinking about the far-off future and planning, but you're also still fit enough to put plans into action (garage sale shopping, sewing, running around, etc).

With energy and mobility and general good feelings (not all moms feel this great in their 2nd and sometimes when you do, the anxiety about the future robs the joy from these weeks, but for me it was happy times).

It feels like forever ago! Look how tiny I was (and how chubby Lily was haha)!

{me @ 20 weeks}

Too bad those blissful weeks are sandwiched between the 1st and 3rd trimesters, amen?

Poll closes tonight @ 12!

2011-10-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

Back when I made the poll on my sidebar for when y'all thought LG would be born, I couldn't imagine him going more than a week early.

Then it was made and I had all of these problems.

But it was too late to change the poll since peeps had already started voting.

And it was just as well, because I'm still pregnant, and tomorrow is October 29th - the first day I'd put up as an option to vote on. So, the poll closes as of tonight at midnight, when the clock strikes October 29th aka midnight. Though who is reading baby bump blogs at that hour anyway? So I'll just say today is the last day :)

source, source, source

My vote is still Oct 31st as I'd LOVE an October baby and a Halloween baby (how fun would that be!?) but you can also change your vote up until midnight tonight. Also neat tidbit to keep your fingers crossed for - my OB whom I love is working all day/night Saturday, so if I went into a longer labour tonight or just plain 'ol labour tomorrow at any time, she would deliver LG! It's so rare to actually have the doctor who has been caring for you all these weeks and months when the time comes to deliver since, well, doctor's don't live in the hospital (though Grey's anatomy makes me think that...) and baby's don't come on schedule most of the time.

So this weekend or Monday, I'd really love to give birth, but whenever he wants to come is okay. *really hard to say, but I promise you, I believe that today*

supposed to...

2011-10-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

I've faced the facts that though this pregnancy was far more complicated than Lily's and though I'm feeling far worse, this baby could be happier in mama than out of mama, and I may even go LATE with this one.

First babies are supposed to be the on-time-or-late ones, so everybody said (which drove me crazy, people are so free with their opinions that may or may not be discouraging, eh moms?)

Lily came at the end of my 38th week. Aka right around now for this pregnancy. And then first labours are also supposed to be long. Minimum 12 hours I was told by more than one person (none of whom were doctors or midwives). Lily came 7 hours after my water broke. Without pitocin and with an epidural (which can slow labour, hence why many ladies who opt for an epidural also get pitocin to speed things up).

Then there's the additional babes one may pop out - shorter pregnancies and shorter labours, so they say.

And I'm believing none of it.

LG may be late or on time, or delivered in my 39th week. All things Lily wasn't supposed to be, but was, and all things he's highly likely to be but may not. Babies can break the mold people! And I think I have two kids who don't like to beat to the drum of supposed to.

I'm also preparing myself for a longer labour. If LG does come on time or late, he'll probably be bigger than his sis and that could slow down labour too. I'm also slightly worried he could be a 10 pounder or more (at my 32 week ultrasound he was suggested to be over 5 lbs) an labour could be harder (Lily flew out!) or even not possible (don't have the biggest hips) and a c-section may be our lot. As I've said before, I'm ok with that and we don't have strong feelings against c-section, I'm just preparing for this labour and delivery to not be the exact same that Lily's was. Every baby and birth is unique.

So today I have 10 days left, supposedly. Maybe I have more, hopefully I have less.

Maybe today's the day. The day of my 38 week appointment with Lily, I went in, had an internal exam and my membranes scraped (sorry for the harsh picture, I swear that's the medical term!), and went to the hospital hours later with a leaking water. 7 hours later we had Lily.

And today I have that very appointment.

Ah. If only they played by the rules and were predictable :)

having some, adopting some

2011-10-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

Our plan was always to have all of our kids biologically. I've talked about that a bit.

But then when I became a mom, my heart for orphans grew - how could it not? My heart for all babies and children and mothers did, and that has to include orphaned children and their birth mothers.

But after Lily, we knew we weren't ready to throw in the towel with biological reproduction either. Even though being pregnant was not my cup of tea! After this baby though, we're 99% sure we're done having kids biologically. But not done having kids. Not done growing our family.

Though the blogosphere has introduced me to many families who "have some and adopt some", most people I know who have adopted, have only adopted. They don't also have biological children (they may plan to in the future but they don't yet). The other night though, we met a guy who was in town for a conference and staying with our friends. He has SIX children (yelp!) and two are adopted. I loved hearing him talk about his kids - how his "bio kids" responded to all the sudden having a twin (they twinned their oldest and second oldest kids and the kids loved it).

At this point I have no idea what the future for our family holds.

We're open to age and race (we're not going on the longest known list in local adoption for a white newborn, in fact we're partial to neither!) and even number (sibling sets have a harder time being adopted, and oddly enough that's also the most appealing to us).

But timing is completely not known or decided right now. LG is the imminent priority, and he'll be making us a family of 4 any day now, but it's also something impossible to take off the table and our hearts entirely.

God's put it there and he's not taking it off.

As we wait to see what He has for our family, and we take our time adjusting to being a family of 4, we'll be praying about the future. Enjoy these amazing videos of families who have had some and adopted some with me.

Home At Last from dan owens on Vimeo.

on birth plans...

2011-10-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

We made one the first time around.

Didn't follow it.

Felt horrible and like a failure for not doing so, too.

This time around, our plan is to trust our doctors, see how we're feeling, see how baby's doing, and go with the flow.

I'm assuming an epidural is in the works, and that a C-section is not (baby's head is down as of this week), but no matter what happens, it's going to be an amazing day, in 15 days of less :)

I'm so excited to give birth again, to meet a new baby again, and to be part of the incredible story of a human's life again, but I'm not holding too tightly to any which way of doing it. Recently I read an article on what a crying shame it is for a woman's birth plan to not be followed through, and honestly, it made me sad. It's only that great a shame if the most important thing that day is the way one gives birth and not the end result. I think those opinions set us up for failure if everything doesn't go exactly to plan. If our bodies, or our pain tolerance, or our babies, or our doctor doesn't agree with THE PLAN, that somehow the experience is ruined.

Nothing will ruin BDAY, so long as the baby born is healthy. I say, write one if it will help you process and prepare for birth, but hold it with an extremely open hand and forgive yourself if when it doesn't go according to plan.

Loved the recent episode of Up All Night, where Regan and Chris have the baby. It made me cry even though it's a comedy (doesn't take much these days!), and laugh because I remember being just like her - holding so tightly to my birthing plan and feeling horrible when things didn't pan out. Thankfully before BDAY was through, Regan (and I) came to terms with the right priorities (healthy baby, healthy mom, no matter what) and weren't as devastated when we saw our plans fly out the window as we were when the first started taking flight.

Watch and enjoy!

in 20 days of less

2011-10-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

In 20 days of less, I'll be a mama again.
In 20 days or less, I'll have a boy in my house, and I don't mean Bradford!!
In 20 days or less, Lily will have a brother.
In 20 days or less, we'll be a family of 4.
In 20 days or less, I'll no longer be pregnant.
In 20 days or less...

Unless as a sick joke of some kind, LG decides to come AFTER his due date... but after this much grief I surely don't hope or expect that (did you hear that LG? did you?!).

I'm struggling big time for perspective.
Haven't been sleeping well.
Lily has been waking around 4am each night this week in tears - not hungry, not wanting to be held (maybe just teething pain, not sure) and I have a hard time falling back to sleep once I'm up.
I've been grouchy (just ask my poor husband).
I'm getting frustrated and growing stir-crazy stuck in my house.

20 days or less though, seems like such a brief time. Less than 3 weeks. I can count that on my fingers and toes. I can picture 20 days. It's not even a month. I really need to say that back to myself again and again.

20 days or less.

knit booties for my fall/winter boy

2011-10-16T06:27:00.000-07:00

AH! these booties are THE sweetest!

I so wish I could knit, or really knew anyone who could knit something this high caliber and had endless time on their hands to stock my children's closets... because, hey, knit things...in winter...on babies... oh gosh.

check out this Etsy shop I just saw and immediatly fell in love:

Pleasantly Plump Knits

drooling over all of these little creations today as I bundle up Lily for church...

37 week ponderings

2011-10-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

The finish line is in sight!!

I'm 37 weeks on Sunday, a mere 30 hours from now!

That means, I've *basically* made it to full-term!

I really didn't know how this past week would go. Part of me was so hoping to go into labour because I'm in extreme discomfort and that part is only getting worse... But most of me wanted to hold on for dear life because I know it's what's best for LG. Though I know many babies who have been born over 3 weeks early (so technically not at the 37 week/"full term" mark), and who are thriving and totally healthy, I did want to last as long as I (and LG) could.

My doctor gave me some guidelines to follow and I've been a good patient. I had to miss church last week which wasn't great, but I didn't have a ride, and the stairs in the metro are very unforgiving to me. Thankfully this week I have a ride. Especially because Brad is preaching. Especially because I miss church and missed it last week. And especially because it could be my last Sunday for a few if I go into labour next week.

***

I need to write something because I'm hoping it will help convince my pained body and conflicted heart:

I'm thankful to still be pregnant with LG.

I'm thankful because it's what my doctor, whom I trust, recommended and hoped for. I'm thankful because it's what's best for him (to be born at 37 weeks or after). I'm thankful because I'm resting in God's perfect will for me and our family.

My body wants him out. My bad attitude (often) wants him out. My impatience wants him out.

But I'm thankful.

Thankful

Really needing to write and believe that more :)

***

In other news, my fingers have grown to the sausage-like state where my rings no longer fit. I'm wearing them around my neck and Lily loves to play with them. Our house is much more settled than it was last week too, so bringing home a baby would be easier than it would have been 7 days ago. All in all, we're feeling really excited and ready for LG. Not a glimmer of nerves (except maybe for the pain pre-epidural!), just thorough joy that in a few days or weeks, we'll have a baby boy in our nest.

We are a blessed people, us Morrices.

36 week ponderings

2011-10-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

1. One more week and I'm in the clear
2. I'm really getting tired of bed rest
3. I really wish we had a car so I could leave the house...
4. I can't believe I'm going to have a baby that isn't Lily
5. I'm nervous about my water breaking
6. I'm nervous about not being able to get an epidural or not making it to the hospital (now that I have felt labour pains, there's no way you could PAY ME to attempt natural birth!)
7. The nursery is so not ready (Lily's big girl bed doesn't come til Nov and it's notpainted with the gray stripe as we plan to have it, nor is anything hung on the walls. Good thing he'll be in our room, which IS ready for the first several weeks)

the term "full term"

2011-10-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

in 1.5 weeks I'll be "full term"

"full term" is a good thing. for mama and for baby. but God's timing is GOOD too. and his may disagree with the term "full term"...

today I had my one-month-to-go appointment. Literally 1 month to the day before LG is due. I could barely get on the table I was in so much pain and he was so low I felt as if I could feel his head between my legs LITERALLY. Never had that with the Lilster, but this is a whole nother beast. because of the constant discomfort and close proximity between childbirths, my doctor has been *slightly* concerned all along, so she's done more vaginal exams than last time, just to keep an eye on things. and today, she kept her eye on a cervix that's been dilating... 2cm dilated to be exact.

with Lily I was 2cm dilated for two weeks before she was born, nearly 2 weeks early. with LG, we'll see. but as second babies often come earlier than first babies, and are shorter labours (and L was only 7 hours from water breaking to heart breaking first sight of her), it's not ideal to be 2cm dilated a month before the due date...

my doc was pretty concerned that I could go into labour this or next week. she (and I) would love to see me carry LG to "full term", but she has asked me to REALLY cut back on activity to strengthen the odds of not going into labour...like...now. meaning, as little lifting Lily as possible and no sex. the rest I've already been doing (staying off my feet, not traveling, etc). so in 1.5 weeks when I'm "full term" I'd love to still be carrying LG on the inside, but again, we'll see.

other than the whole "full term" concerns, we do feel ready to meet this guy! his bassinet is in our room, waiting. his craigslist svan bouncer is in our living room, waiting. my hospital bag is packed, waiting. his hospital bag is packed, waiting. his sister is clueless, but his parents are eager. waiting. ideally (in non medical reasoning), we'd have another week also, because we're not 100% moved into our new place, but emotionally, we're excited, not nervous in the least, and very anticipatory of his arrival.

Hope to see you soon baby boy, "full term" or not, in God's perfect timing :)

praying for an October baby

2011-09-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ironically, I've always wanted the big events in my life to fall in October.

Not thinking at all about my kid's lives, because you can't plan such things, but most other things.

It's my birthday, it's Fall (my favourite season), it's often when we celebrate Thanksgiving, and Brad and I were married on October 18th.

Mostly out of my own extreme discomfort, I find myself praying for an October baby. Simply because that would have LG nearly a week (or more) early, and my body is ready to have him OUT. I didn't think I cared about having an October baby (the month has enough goodness anyhow!), but I thought about it today - what a pleasant perk that would be! Icing on the cake of my favourite month... to have a son born during those blessed weeks.

So not because I like October but because I don't like pain, I want this baby to come out in October, instead of his due date, 6 days into November... But an October baby would be sweet!

Though any baby will be sweet, even if he's a Mr. November :)

(don't mind the language... it's otherwise a great song and a great band!)

33 week thoughts & FAQ

2011-09-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

6 weeks and a coupla days to go - or even sooner (and maybe later)!

Current life situation: living amidst boxes and adjusting to a new sleep schedule (Lily's, but as a result mine). Moving in 6 days.

Current JOYS of being pregnant: ha! I am forcing myself to write something in this category... not easy... let's see... ummmmm I'm excited to meet this boy. the ultrasound was a BIG joy. LG was yawning and blinking a lot so we saw his eyes and mouth well (Lily was asleep during her 32 week US).

Current BENEFITS to being prego: hubby is doing a LOT of things that I'd usually be doing. He's rising to the occasion big time. also I'm super motivated to get things done since I know when LG is born it'll be much harder... so one benefit is getting my but in gear (Xmas stockings and various sewing projects are completed!)

Current SYMPTOMS: along with the 3rd trimester ones I already mentioned, just lots and lots and lots of pain/pressure. limping around the house and not really leaving the house because we don't have a car and the doctor insisted that I stay off my feet to the max :(

Oh, and mommy-brain like woah. I can't remember where I put a SINGLE THING. It's horrible. That, and clumsiness. I heard pregnant women were more forgetful and clumsy but didn't experience it too too much with Lily. This time I'm getting injured a ton. Even had a trip to the emergency room from one knife incident, and a second knife incident left me with glue holding together another wound. ouch.

Most Excited About: newborn snuggles. i looked at some pictures of Lily when she was 2 months old today and my heart became mush. just a bag of bones, and always wanting to cuddle. LG may be our last infant child, so I intend to really soak those early months up - even in hectic times.

Most Afraid About: my water breaking in a weird place (like church or on the metro), going into labour and not being able to reach Brad or find a sitter/caretaker for Lily, going into labour anytime before 37 weeks...

FAQ:

have you chosen his name yet?

- yes. we had it from when we didn't know if Lily was a boy or a girl, so it was easy peasy.

have you written a birth plan yet?

- no but we aren't planning to. we'll just plan to trust the doctors and get through it as comfortably as possible (so yes I plan to get an epidural for those wondering!!)

are you having friends/family in the delivery room or at the hospital?

- NO. just like last time, we intend it to be a very intimate experience. just Brad and I. it was so perfect for us during Lily's birth and first 2 days that we wouldn't have it any other way. Now, to find someone to take L off our hands...

are you having any family stay with you after the birth?

- again, no. Brad's dad and Debbie live 40 minutes away so they'll probably be the first to see LG, once we're discharged from the hospital, and then after that my family is coming for a weekend in late November followed by Brad's family the 1st weekend in December. That's also when we'll do our "Christmas" with them all because we're staying in Montreal this year for the first time (!!!) as a family of 4.

We really benefited from not having live-in family help when Lily was born (though I totally understand why some people want their moms or families there 24/7 during the first little bit!). we learned to trust our instincts and learn on the fly right away, which was good for us.

are you breastfeeding?

- yes, Lord-willing!

are you cloth diapering?

- yes! ~~after a few weeks~~ whenever LG's umbilical cord comes off.

are you vaccinating?

- YES.

are you scared/worried/afraid?

- most days. two will be a HUGE adjustment. but we can do it!

are you taking maternity leave?

- oh ya! Thanks to my employer and the province of Quebec, I am taking my 2nd maternity leave and will be on it until Summer 2012.

is Brad taking paternity leave?

- yes! in QC the father gets 5 weeks in addition to the mother's 12 months. he'll take 1 week right away and then the remaining 4 later on during the 12 month period. With Lily he saved his 5 weeks until the middle/end of my maternity leave, and it just so happened I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy with LG... so it was bliss. I got to sleep in (and puke, undisturbed) and he did the morning feeds :)

***

dear LG

2011-09-18T15:38:00.000-07:00

When you're old enough to get a job, your first pay cheque will go towards buying you and I Habs tickets.

Just so you know :)

Yes, my husband just told me of a friend who has season's tickets and had a pre-season game to spare. Of course Brad being the selfless man he is offered it to me first. Knowing the state of my body/pregnancy/pain level I knew I had to decline. I think the declining hurt more than the lower abdominal pressure!

#sacrifices

breastfeeding hope

2011-09-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

I mentioned yesterday that soon I'll be attempting to breastfeed all over again.

Typing that makes me very nervous, because frankly, last time was a nightmare. It was a struggle with low supply, pride, hurtful comments from others, exhaustion, discomfort, and lots of guilt.

Though generations from my family have had significant troubles breastfeeding (my grandmother could hardly bfeed her first two and couldn't her 3rd - my mom- at all) and I was told I would likely have trouble with supply as I've had breast-reduction surgery, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Why couldn't I provide for my baby? Why can't I do what mom's are "supposed to do"? Why am I failing at this? Why doesn't anyone understand that the milk just isn't there? You get the idea.

Through it all, I grew tremendously, as a mom, and a Christian. Learning that God is in charge of all of these things. That he loves me and has given me the skills I need to be a good mom to Lily - namely a heart to LOVE her. Learning that breast-isn't-best but feeding your child is - whether that's from the breast or the bottle. Learning to trust my instincts (we should have actually added formula sooner as Lily was over a month and still UNDER birth weight). And learning to find my identity in Christ, as I'm hid with Him as his daughter, and not La Leche women who tell me "every woman can breastfeed, bar none".

But I still have hope that this time will be different. I have no reason to believe that LG may find more than enough milk in there, though Lily didn't. I have no reason to believe that the exact same problems will face me with my second child. I have been told and read that each child responds to breastfeeding differently, and also each pregnancy and birth prepares your body for the task differently. Women who have never had trouble breastfeeding, sometimes find with their 2nd or 3rd that their supply is not there or their child will not latch. And women like me, who had tremendous trouble have found their 2nd or 3rd babies feeding from the breast easily, and for many months, with no need for formula. I have hope that this will the case for us, but unlike last time, it won't rock my world if that's not how it plays out.

More reasons for hope are literal signs that it could be different. I've read and been told that while you're pregnant you may have small bits of colostrum leaking as the birth approaches. I never had this with Lily, while other friends of mine experienced a lot of this up to 3 months before the birth. Well, I have it with LG! Probably for the last 4 weeks or so I've noticed in the shower (sorry if this is TMI!) or when changing that there are small bits of dried colostrum. Could this be a sign that my body is producing more milk than last time? Maybe.

I also plan to take the advice from my friend Karen (hi Karen!) to try taking capsules of Fenugreek or Blessed Thistle. There was a medication recommended to me Lily's by old doctor (who we stopped seeing for several reasons, namely we didn't like him or feel he had our child's best interests at heart) but the side effects included "the patient may take on symptoms similar to that of Parkinson's Disease for short or extended periods of time".
Um, no thanks.
Brad and I both felt strongly that it would not be the best road for us to go down.
But natural supplements such as Fenugreek or Blessed Thistle, we're fine with and I'm excited to see how they may help.

Anyway, the point is, I'm hopeful. I'm not counting on being able to breastfeed exclusively. With Lily we had to begin supplementing (though I pumped as well as breastfed for 5 months after she was born) at 4 weeks, and really we should have sooner. But this could be different. It may not be, but we plan on giving breastfeeding the full effort until/unless we see similar signs of low supply and dangerous weight for LG.

And this time, I'll be in a much better place regardless of the outcome :)

soon and very soon...

2011-09-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

i'll be in a new home
i'll be lounging on THE UNICORN
i'll be decorating for Fall
i'll be getting ready for Christmas
i'll be mummer to another little one
i'll be drinking a margarita (or a glass of wine or a 1/2 pint of beer...)
i'll be up all night and practically all day
i'll be a Plateau-dwelling lady
i'll be giving birth (can.not.wait.)
i'll be recovering from giving birth (can.definitely.wait)
i'll be attempting breast-feeding & giving it my best shot (again)
i'll be living farther from my friends
i'll be amidst far more French
i'll be watching hockey
i'll be wearing non-maternity clothes

lots (good & bad) to look forward to in joy and anticipation and just a smidgen of fear.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

- Jesus (Matthew 6:34)

reality check

2011-09-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

Baby Audrey was over the other day, unfortunately not under the best of circumstances.

James and Jamie, on top of enduring their first week of parenthood (oh, how I remember that week, and it was NOT all roses as I'd thought!), discovered bed bugs and were evicted while the fumigator took care of the pests.

Apparently after spraying their apartment, it only takes about 4 hours for the space to become "safe" for a healthy adult, but with a 5 day old baby, well, you don't take chances! So they were off to spend the night at a friend's apartment, but needed a place to spend the early evening until it became available. Obviously I was THRILLED at the chance to have Jamie and Audrey over, but wished it was for a better reason!

While Jamie took some much needed alone time and did some pumping (I did a LOT of pumping with Lily to increase my supply and can imagine I'll do the same with LG... not looking forward!), I took Audrey off her hands. The thing was, it was dinner time and Lily was still awake.

So I cooked dinner, kept my eyes on Lil, and held precious Audrey. Can I just say, WOW. This is going to be an adjustment having TWO. I know people have many more than two children and get it done, and I plan to be one of those people, but it will be a big change from just needing to care for Lily, that's for sure! It was a big time reality check, especially at hectic times like making dinner.

Thankfully, when it's my newborn, my home will be ready for him. I didn't have a bouncy-seat or a safe place to lay Audrey during the craziness, and that would have helped. I also didn't have a safe place for Lily since we're moving, so I had to barricade her into the kitchen with me as I cooked, Audrey in arm. So instead of Lily playing in her baby-gated bedroom (which we REALLY need to buy!) and Audrey happily bouncing along as I cooked dinner, it was more like a scene from Family Circus.

I was thankful for the reminder, that in 7 weeks things will be even crazier than now.

I'm thankful for bed rest, as it's giving me a reminder and excuse to RELAX while I still can.

Even if relaxing these days looks much differently than it did before kids!

32 week update

2011-09-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

I went to my doctor's this morning for a check up. She confirmed, medically, what I was suspecting, emotionally and physically.

LG is measuring big. She did a vaginal exam to confirm, and my uterus is very low, though still completely closed (thank goodness). So while there's no dilation, she's concerned that he may come as much as 2-3 weeks early, based on my body's response to him at 32 weeks. My core back and vaginal muscles are weak and probably didn't heal fully after Lily's birth, and he's low enough to be putting tremendous pressure on them - hence the pain and discomfort.

So practically, this means I need to be off my feet whenever possible. In the home it's not too hard. Lily can read a book on my lap, etc. But it means I need to cut back significantly on the walking. This past Sunday we asked a friend to drive me to church (a short, but all up hill walk) and that will have to be the new norm. And today I did a very hard thing: I called my best friend, who is getting married 7 hours away, 4 weeks from now, and told her I couldn't come.

Some serious implications to LG measuring big and low and my body not holding him or responding well to him. I'm fine, though my weight is a tad low and my blood pressure a tad high. And she suspects I'll remain fine, so long as I take it easy.

Looks like I should add some earlier dates to my LG's due date voting poll... Most seem to think he'll come November 2nd (4 days early) but I may have to scale back to October a bit more. Please be praying for LG (he's completely healthy though, not to worry!) and me as I make some serious changes and deal with some significant discomfort.

8 more weeks?

2011-09-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

I really really really want to go early.

Not dangerously early, but earlier than 8 weeks from now.

Even 1 week early, as Lily was, would be a glorious light at the end of the tunnel. To be able to picture 7 more instead of 8 more (and so on and so on as the weeks pass)...

I was reflecting on how different this pregnancy is than mine was with Lily, and things I was doing last July when I was 8 weeks away from having Lily, and well, it's a different world entirely.

It was a heatwave and I was metro-ing and walking all over town picking up secondhand baby gear and clothing for Lily. I was painting her bedroom, refinishing furniture, and walking to church (which is not far but all up hill) right til the end.

With LG, I have 2 months to wait (if he comes on time or late) and already I'm essentially on bed rest as of yesterday. Not doctor-enforced bed rest (I see her on Tuesday and have my 32 week ultrasound on Thursday so she won't do or say much til then), but I-know-my-body-bed-rest. The kind where the second I don't need to be with Lily, my feet are up or I'm lying down. That's how painful even standing and moving is right now. I just can't imagine 8 more weeks!

I did some serious re-evaluating today and though I'm desperate to paint my kitchen cabinets along with the rest of our house, I think the cabinets will wait. Many friends have offered to help us paint the house and we'll gladly be taking them up on that, but the cabinets we wanted to do ourselves and ensure we do a really careful job. Plus they'll take around 3 days to complete and with house painting going on, we'd rather not start that project too. Mainly too because anytime I've typed "we" I mean Brad, as I'm in no place for such things.

So, assuming LG comes in 8 weeks (technically he'd be 2 days early as of this evening, so that's still better than the full amount of time!), these are the things my prego self will have done: packed 1 home up and unpacked into another, moved into a newly painted home (only made possible by our friends!) and traveled to Ontario to be the maid of honour in a wedding.

Pray for me, I don't quite know how it's all going to work!

answered prayer...

2011-09-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to thank those of you who prayed for my friend Jamie.

After 9 days of waiting post-due-date, she gave birth this morning to a baby girl!

Audrey Emma Lucas, Lily and LG can't wait to welcome you :)

vote!

2011-09-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

OVER THERE >>>

so speaking of really thinking I won't go the full 9 weeks that are left til LG's due date, I thought I'd post a little poll so see what YOU think.

i did the same with Lily and I believe only 1 person thought she'd come when she did (and I wasn't one of 'em!). maybe LG will have better luck :)

pssssssst - my vote is Halloween, just because that would be really fun!

imagining the themed birthday parties as I type...

9 weeks to go?

2011-09-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

There's no way I still have that long!

This pregnancy seems to be hitting me much harder in the final months than Lily's did, and I really feel it now.

The full-on waddle, the feet that have grown a fill shoe size (not looking forward to sandal weather ending in a few weeks!), the Braxton Hicks contractions and wild baby movements (he's too big now for kicks, it's more so body rolls now which are quite the sight!), the extreme fatigue and shortness of breath since LG is resting happily on my ribs which house my lungs).... you get the picture.

I feel PREGNANT.

Lily was 8 days early, even though everyone-and-their-brother told me "first baby's never come early", and I remember thinking similar thoughts with her... That towards the end my body was feeling as it is now and I couldn't fathom her coming on time or late. Well she wasn't - she was over a week early as my body was warning me the whole time. LG seems to already be doing the same, but he has a while to go still (I hope).

I'm not opposed to going early - I loved shaving 8 days off the waiting time for Lily. I was so ready to meet her and she was 7lbs 12 ounces, so she was fine to come out when she did, but I know LG would not be fine if he came too too early. Like 9 weeks early. Yeah, that would be bad. Buddy's only about 3.5lbs right now.

Anytime after Missy's wedding (October 3rd I'll be back in Montreal) would be fine with me though! I have my 32-weeks ultrasound on September 15th and we'll see what they say then. My prediction is that they'll say LG is measuring a tad on the big side and that he may come early... because there's no way in 9 weeks I'll still be carrying around this man!

***

In related news, my dear sweet friend Jamie is STILL waiting on her babe to make it's arrival (she was due Aug 28th). I can't imagine waiting 8 days PAST my due date (where she was as of today) as lily was that much early. She's such a trooper though. Would you mind praying that her baby comes tonight? Or tomorrow? Or basically SOON? She is going to be a great mom and is more than ready to meet him/her!

Even Though my Oven's Working...

2011-09-01T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm SO excited to have this baby...

God's really blessed me with the gift of being able to bear children, and I don't take that lightly.

Thinking about how easy it was to conceive Lily and LG really do cause gratitude to pour out of my heart.

But when I see things like this, I can't shake the deep deep desire to add to our family through adoption.

A few weeks ago while I was getting a pedicure for my sister's wedding, I told the nail tech that I desired to adopt. Her and I were both pregnant (and yes hanging in a nail salon probably wasn't the best place for our babes, but we'll let that slide!), and she commented "but why adopt when your oven's working?"

Her question took me aback. Implying that those who want to adopt are more worthy of it if they can't conceive children. Or that there was no reason to adopt if you could bear children. Funny, I thought adopting was about the child, not about the parents, primarily.
I responded with a smile reminding her "well, there are a lot of children who need a good home out there, thousands more than are parents lining up to adopt them" to which she fully agreed.

I continue to be excited about LG's arrival and to see what he'll look like - will he be a mini-Brad or have more of my features as Lily does? But I also can't shake the feeling that God will one day be adding to our family in a completely different way. Even though my oven works.

ouch...

2011-08-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

My lower back, hips, and lady parts are screaming.
Not this minute, because I've done next to nothing today, but after any exertion, like my 15 minute walk to the store yesterday.

I still have 10 weeks, this is so not cool.

Braxton Hicks... already!?

2011-08-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

I know Braxton Hicks "faux contractions" can appear as early as midway through a pregnancy... but that just wasn't my experience last time. Imagine my confusion/concern when last night I was woken from sleep by some beastly contractions (Braxton Hicks, to be sure, not the real deal!).

When I was pregnant with Lily I didn't get Braxton Hicks until 1 week before she was BORN. And even then, they were minor until 24 hours before she came 'round.

Having them last night was not fun. And scary. And nerve-wracking.

So is the immense pressure on my lower abdomen/hips/lady parts.

LG, you've got at least 7 weeks to go, buddy. Don't be in any kind of a rush mk?

Parents.com says:

An experienced uterus also has far more "false," or practice, contractions, called Braxton Hicks. Moreover, because a second baby is carried lower and farther away from the spine, he isn't centered over the bowl of the mother's pelvis, so he can't drop into the lower pelvis as easily. This may be why these early practice contractions don't bring on labor as readily as the first time. To tell the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and real ones, change your position (stand up, say, if you've been sitting), or walk around. Braxton Hicks contractions will often stop, while active contractions will continue throughout these actions.

So again, I'm not panicking, but I don't love seeing labour signs I did with Lily 1 week before her birth, a full 10 weeks before LG's due date...

the wedding bump

2011-08-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Here's a recent bump pic - clad in my bridesmaid dress for Lisa's wedding.

We took a size 14 dress from David's Bridal and the world's best seamstress (who made my wedding dress off the rack from a size 16 to a 6) turned it into a maternity size 8. She is a brilliant woman, and probably also the worst paid seamstress alive in her skill level. The woman charges next to nothing for her masterwork. My wedding dress was $100, though she practically re-made it, and my little David's 14-maternity 8? $15. If you're in the Niagara area, message me if you ever want her info for a wonderful seamstress!

Anyway, back to LG, here he is!!

Check my other blog for more pics from Lisa's wedding :)

moving while pregnant?

2011-08-23T17:51:00.000-07:00

In 4 weeks, we're moving.
In about 10 weeks I'll have another lil baby in my arms.
I say another because Lily still feels like a baby, even though after Saturday when she turned 1, she's officially a toddler. She's still under 20 lbs and has just 2 teeth and doesn't say much, so to me, she's still a baby. Our baby, if not a 'baby' to anyone else. Which brings me to the question on my mind:

How do you move in/out with a baby?
Or while very pregnant?

Realistically, I won't be able to do much. I can't paint or lift heavy boxes. I can sort, organize, and best of all, boss people around, but I can't do much. I'm just too dang pregnant! And Lily... well she'll definitely need an all-day babysitter...for a few days. I have a few local friends who I'm sure wouldn't mind watching her, but I just don't think there's another way - so they will be asked (you know who you are!)

My goal is to have the house painted and large furniture moved in by September 30th, giving us a full 4 weeks in the house to actually make it a home (decorating, settling, etc) before LG's arrival.
Assuming he doesn't come early.
Assuming everything goes through with the house.
And assuming the final weeks of my pregnancy I'm healthy.
Assuming.

Advice, please!

another nursery...

2011-08-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

Not because LG is getting his own... no no no, he's a city baby and everyone knows city babies get crammed in with their other siblings (if not with the laundry machines or mom and dad lol!). No, I'm talking about the kid's nursery in our next home... I still want to use orange and green as the main colours (and white as a major colour/shade), but I'm thinking of a stripe accent wall...

they just look so cool!

and some serious orange curtains (currently the nursery has light green but it's so soft and I feel like LG and Lily together will be anything but, so why pretend!?) like these:

I actually already own the orange Amy Butler fabric too, so it won't take long.

Excited to nest up for LG's arrival!

3rd

2011-08-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm here. In the third trimester. The final stretch. 3 months / 12 weeks to go until "due date" time, and only 2.5 months / 9 weeks until the "due date window".

It's hard to believe that after such a whirlwind of having Lily, getting pregnant when she was not yet 5 months old, and being pregnant with LG that we're here. In this final season of pregnancy. My first thoughts: THANK GOODNESS.

Some women thrive in pregnancy. My mother-in-law said she loved being pregnant. Her hair was nice and thick, she had boundless energy, and she never vomited once. My mom did have some of the negative experiences I've had - extreme fatigue, nausea (though no vomiting) - but she says the same. She loved it. I, on the other hand, do not. It's hard, y'all. And I'm really happy it's nearly over. Is that insensitive to say? I don't want to seem insensitive to those who would love to be pregnant, and would give anything to be in my too-tight shoes... I'm just trying to be honest about my experience. Grateful that I am pregnant, but eager to be done. Fair?

The third trimester always flies by too, which is nice. Jamie, my bursting-BFF is due in a couple of weeks and she doesn't know where the time went. After that 20 week ultrasound, it really starts to fly. And the changes you experience are more noticeable every week, which is fun (because you see progress) and challenging (because they're often unpredictable and sudden).

Some of these sudden changes that seem to steal the show in your third trimester would be:

Leg cramps. Who invented those!? hate hate hate! On a given night, I wake up at least twice, with one or both of my lower legs (knee, down) completely seized in muscle tension. I have to urgently move my foot around and massage like crazy to get them to relax and the pain to dissipate. Not fun.
Bonkers-Frequent Urination. I know, "pregnant women always have to go", as they say, but it gets just silly towards the end. Last night I was up SIX TIMES to pee. And once with a leg cramp, if you're curious. Grrr.
Wild Baby Movements. At the beginning you would give anything to feel baby move around, to assure he's alright, and it is still comforting when you feel that....it's just also awkward and very painful. LG was moving so much last night I was just watching my stomach roll around for a good 30 minutes, at 2am, because there's no way you can sleep through those kicks and squirms. It's fun to imagine what on earth he's doing in there, or what made him so energized at that moment (always when Mom's trying to sleep it seems!). When I was pregnant with Lily I would always just feel one foot kicking my side. When she was born and we were in the hospital we saw her sleeping with one leg curled up and the other pushed straight out. And it occurred to us that THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS DOING, but INSIDE of me. So wild.

I've also had a lot more lower back pain with LG than I did with Lily (formally known as MM), but the last week hasn't been as bad so I'm hoping it was a shortish season. Here's hoping :)

This part of my pregnancy will also go fast because I'm very very very busy in the coming months and weeks. Brad and I are hoping to buy a condo/apartment in the next couple of weeks, my sister's wedding is in 10 days (on August 20th - Lily's birthday), I'm hosting a wedding shower on August 22nd in Oakville, ideally we'd move into said condo/apartment in late September, and I'm the maid of honour at a wedding on October 2nd. So lots to keep me busy and my mind on other things, which is REALLY nice.

No time to worry or stress about baby and no time to loose sleep from excitement about his arrival (though I'm sure I still will, especially closer to his due date).

So the countdown is on! 88 days to go (or 78 if he's like his sister!) and I'm done with pregnancy and a mom of 2. Thank you Lord, on both and all accounts :)

baby clones?

2011-08-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

Meet Gabriel. Lily's clone.

He's a boy. She's a girl. But they're babies. So it's not uncommon for them to look IDENTICAL.

When does that change?

Will LG look like him?

Exciting thoughts!!

Future Glimpse?

2011-08-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

For my rambles on if LG will be my last biological child and what the future may or may not hold for our family, check {our nest in the city} for a post I wrote today after babysitting 2, alongside Lily and a baby bump

Same/Different

2011-08-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

People always ask how this pregnancy is similar and different than my first pregnancy, with Lily.

SAME AS THE FIRST:

still tired as heck
still experienced the 1st trimester of nausea/vomiting
still experienced super painful boobs the first few weeks
still love feeling those kicks, at first
still find the kicks painful around 20+ weeks
still tired of maternity clothes after wearing the same few outfits over and over
still excited as ever to meet the babe inside
still having a blast planning for his arrival
still love thinking about DIY projects for him (his room, clothes, blankets, etc)
still loose my breath like it's nothin'
still uncomfortably hot (probably because I'm still pregnant in the summer!)
still experiencing the 3rd trimester leg cramps
still bought all baby's clothes secondhand

DIFFERENT THAN THE FIRST

less nervous about his health/my health
less paranoid about birth pain/epidural pain
less worried about breastfeeding
basically, less worried, period.
much much more lower back pain :(
my belly ballooned so quickly this time
no *new* stretch marks
exercising much more this time (thank you, Fit Mama dvds!)
fewer dizzy spells

Bump Watch!

2011-07-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

I definitely haven't done the semi-regular bump pics of this pregnancy (and honestly I barely did for the last one!), but for those interested in how my little bump is doing, here's a ic from a couple of weeks ago. You can't really see much, but it's all I got!

{Lily & I at the splash pad at the Louisville Zoo - necessary since it was 116 degrees F that day!!}

blocks for a boy (and girl!)

2011-07-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

One thing I hadn't crossed off my list (see below) for preparing for LG was wooden blocks. I know they're not a necessity but they're something I really wanted to buy for him and haven't been able to fine anywhere.

I learned as Lily has been going through teething for the last 5 months or so, how much she loves to chew on hard object, and her wooden teethers are by far her favourite (Sophie, no offense). So blocks seemed like they could serve multiple purposes... but only to find them!!

Well today I went to the Zoo with a friend I've met here in Louisville and as a going away gift to Lily (aka me), her daughter Charlotte (aka she) gave... wooden blocks! Incredibly thoughtful as she knew I'd mentioned searching for them to no avail, and so very sweet. It was so unexpected and exactly what I wanted and was useful. My kind of gift. My kind of love.

THANK YOU Dana and Charlotte!! We had a wonderful day with you, we'll miss you, and we'll see y'all next summer :)

due date window

2011-07-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know anyone who was actually born on their due date?

Me neither.

Which brings me to this post...

LG's due date is November 6th, but the "window" is said to be 3 weeks before and 2 weeks after, to be safe. That would make LG's window around October 20-November 20. I'm really hoping he's early again, like his sister, because at the end every day feels like a week and I can't even imagine, but I'm sure every week feels like a month! Lily was 10 days early and that suited us well. Imagine if he were born on Halloween? I always pitied kids born on holidays that all their friends got geared up for... makes their day seem less of a bigger....though I could have some fun with Halloween-themed parties :)

Anyway, this is only a big deal because I'm the maid of honour on October 2nd. Thankful that wedding isn't even just a week later or we could be in trouble!

craft ideas for the baby boy!

2011-07-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

I'm no expert seamstress, but a lot of these cute crafts/DIYs for baby boys have caught my eye and look quite easy! I plan to sttempt them all as soon as I'm back in Montreal, reunited with my machine.

All you'd need is scrap fabric and some onsies.

especially love the hand-dyed onsie, what a bold blue!! and dye like that is available at fabric land and other craft stores for less than $5. Oh and some flannel for the handkerchief bib!

ps - I can totally picture LG looking like that baby in the blue mustache onsie! If he takes after his sister and rocks the blonde hair :)

pps - all pics are Etsy-inspired

22 week ponderings

2011-07-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

My friend Taylor is pregnant with twin boys and I've been following along with her pregnancy blog. Her and Jay struggled to become pregnant and have two babies in Heaven, so this pregnancy is especially sweet and we are just over the moon thrilled for them. Check out their blog here if you're interested. Taylor has been filling out a weekly survey and I thought I'd copy her since I looked at my pregnancy ticker today and realized I'm 22 weeks today! Here we go...

Weight gain/loss:
not really sure. I havent been weighing myself, and I've only been to the doctor once since I've been here in Louisville. PLUS I still had 5-8 pre-pregnancy pounds from my pregnancy with Lily hanging on when I became pregnant with LG, so it's hard to say. I'd say around 10lbs?

Maternity clothes? Sporting three bottoms exclusively right now - faded/distressed bermuda jean shorts from Old Navy that I got last pregnancy, a dark denim knee-length skirt also from Old Navy, and Loni's goold old grey Thyma Maternity shorts. She wore them for her pregnancies and I have so far worn them for all of mine. Definitely a good purchase on her part :)

Stretch marks? Just all the ones from my last pregnancy. Annoyingly right above my belly button. Good thing I was already leaning towards ditching my two-piece bathingsuits!

Sleep? A friend said a while back "I can't wait to be pregnant so I can get more sleep!" and I wanted to scream. It may seem like pregnant women are forever napping or sleeping, but the reality is a) you need WAY more sleep (I'm a walking zombie after 7-8 hours, I just need more now) and b) it's hard to get a full night sleep with constant peeing, baby kicking, and basic discomfort. The longest I sleep in a row is about 5 hours, if I'm lucky. Thankfully I've been able to nap when Lily does....so thankful I'm pregnant while I have a baby who still naps twice a day!

Best moment this week? last week was finding out that the baby is a BOY! this week it was all the garage sale scores we got for him. We now have his entire wardrobe 0-18m (give or take) and most of it is Baby Gap and Ralph Lauren and nothing was more than $2. Crazy what people sell and for what price!!

Food cravings: ice cream (this week I had a ball of coconut and a ball of bourbon and thought I was in HEAVEN!) and Nancy's flavoured cream cheese in Veggie (this amazing bagel place here in Louisville).

Gender: BOY!

Belly button in or out? was an innie pre-babies. Became an outie about 2/3 way through my pregnancy with Lily and very slowly returned after she was born. But with this pregnancy, it was an outie basically from day one... hoping it returns like it did last time!!

What I miss? ice cold beers on summer days, beach volley ball, energy, sleeping well, spicy salmon sushi, and laying in the sun for as long as I want (now I either don't at all because I'm too hot, or for a very short time because I don't want to boil LG!)

What I am looking forward to? Buying an apartment (hoping we find one before LG is born) and setting up the co-ed nursery.

Weekly wisdom: walk as slow as you want crossing the street. that man honking, who can clearly see you're pregnant, is evil.

Milestones: next week is technical viability, but kicking was also a big milestone a few weeks back.

Fruit/Veggie: as long as a spaghetti squash or the size of a papaya (depending on the website)

buddies

2011-06-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

So elated!

I just heard yesterday that our friends and neighbours, the Berniers, are having a baby boy just 4 days after LG is due!! LG will have a little buddy in school just exact age, and from a similar background - which will be hard to find in the downtown Montreal school system :)

Dwight and Jess have a little guy already who is about 18 months, so I think a few people were rooting for team pink (as people tend to do when you already have one child of the opposite sex), but not me! I was totally praying and hoping they'd get a second mister to be a great playmate to Nehemiah, their son, and our little guy. So excited!!!

James and my BFF Jamie are due to have their baby, ironically, on Lily's due date of August 28th and they don't yet know the sex. Guess what team I'm rooting for? You guessed it... BLUE.

Jess, Nehemiah, Lily, and I a few months ago.
Soon it'll be us Moms, three boys, and Lily!!

25 things to do:

2011-06-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

To-do lists are my favourite thing.

Crossing them off is therapeutic and making them makes me feel so much less overwhelmed, no matter how long the list is. I just saw the one I'd made for Lily's nursery this time last summer and smiled. It always gets done, even though it sometimes seems like it won't :)

This time around, we'll be in the process of finding and buying an apartment, so I can't do anything to the actual nursery/bedroom until we're settled in the new nest (and no one knows exactly when that will be... August? September? October? God-forbid November?). But there's lots of other things I can do to prepare for the boy's arrival and the room Lily will now be sharing...

~~1. buy fabric for his quilt~~

~~2. buy fabric for his blanket~~

3. sew his blanket

~~4. 0-3m clothes~~ (fall/winter)

~~5. 3-6m clothes~~ (winter)

~~6. 6-9m clothes~~ (spring)

~~7. 9-12m clothes~~ (summer)

~~8. 12+m clothes~~ (next fall)

~~9. wash + organize by month LG's clothes~~

~~10. crib bumper in green~~

~~11. IKEAwooden train set~~

12. wooden toys - blocks, etc

~~13. find/buy dresser for Lily~~ (LG gets her old one)

14. paint/refurbish dresser for Lily

~~15. find/buy bed for Lily~~

16. paint bed for Lily

17. find/buy mattress for Lily

~~18. find/buy bookshelf~~

19. paint bookshelf

~~20. find/buy adorable children's rocking chair~~

(thanks mom!)

21. find/buy some boy's burp clothes

(they're ALL pink)

22. buy spice racks from IKEA for book shelf DIY

23. paint spice racks from IKEA

24. make fun mobile for kid's room

from http://www.annaleahart.com/

25. find/buy/make LG a sock monkey

(if it's less than $10 or $15 I'm just buying it)

So mostly it's a LOT of painting and up-cycling of furniture.

Plus some sewing and a couple of purchases that aren't urgent.

Wonder if my dad will be up for painting some beds this summer?

co-ed nursery/bedroom

2011-06-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

decorating and DIYing for Lily's nursery last July and August was so fun. We chose gender-neutral green and orange so we would only need to make minimal changes come baby no. 2 just in case it was a boy. And God has indeed blessed us with a healthy baby boy (who is 21 weeks in utero today!) so those minimal changes will be taking place after all :) Head over to {our nest in the city} to see the beginnings of my plans for the co-ed nursery/bed room, starting with the furniture.

My inspiration for their room is this fabric:

"Spotted Owl" in "Natural" by Alexander Henry

And this gorgeous co-ed children's room:

Sunrise Ruffalo's home tour from Domino Magazine

Also check out my pinterest (linked on {our nest in the city} for more nursery ideas under "kid's decorating"

baby boy quilt 2

2011-06-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday you saw my inspiration for LG (Little Gentleman)'s quilt. Today, I went to work to find out where I could buy the fabric I needed to make it happen. Oh, being in the USA! Where capitalism reigns and everyone can get a good deal (hey, why not help their economy, right?). I found www.fabric.com which had amazing deals on some of my favourite fabrics. We're talking $7/yard for Amy Butler fabrics! Those exact same prints run you about $15/metre (basically a yard) in every shop I've been to in Canada. I wish I had more cash to just stock up to my hearts content, but I settled with 1.5 yards of two fabrics I enjoyed and will match well in the kid's room.

I may make accent pillows or a valance or fixed roman shade. I really don't know yet. I've decided to make the kid's bedding (once they're out of cribs, that is) since I can't seem to find anything I like in my price range. Making a duvet cover is basically one of the simplist sewing projects known to man woman humanity, same goes for pillow cases, so it shouldn't be too hard. Plus if I can find some Queen or King sheets that are the colours I want, it would probably be less money than using fabric - and already hemmed! These fabrics would make a nice trim accent though. They'll be put to use somehow :)

It's also where I found my brown gingham for the backing of LG's quilt.

I like how this gingham is on the vertical. Wasn't initially my choice, and there was a smaller gingham for only $4/yard, but this was larger, and more bold - which is what I'm going for - so it was worth the roughly $8/yard. Still amazing compared to fabric prices in Canada.

And as always, the shipping (domestic in the USA only) was free. Golden.

baby boy's quilt

2011-06-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

I mentioned before, my fabulous sister is making baby No. 2 a quilt just as she did Lily. COMPLETELY not necessary (we chose gender neutral colours for Lily's so they could share), but that's Lisa for you. She lives to go above and beyond. Anyone who knows her, knows that.

Anyway, we've been brainstorming and we still want to do the same colour scheme of Lily's - green and orange - since they'll be sharing a room and all. But we want his to be a bit more masculine and bold. Lily's has very small patch work (incredibly intricate!) and many of the non green and orange pieces were lighter fabrics/colours/patterns. With the boy's quilt, we're going the opposite - large pieces, bold colours and fabrics, and adding darker accent colours.

My inspiration:

The large back piece will probably be a brown and white gingham as you see in the bold patchwork above. I love the brown with the green and orange, plus it adds that boy-ish look we're going for, while keeping the quilts the same since their living space is shared.

We still have a lot of leftover fabric from Lily's quilt and the DIY onsies I made and the fabric hoops (a little fabric goes a long way...never throw out scraps!) plus I picked up some sweet fat quarters from a local quilt shop when I was home for the worlds-shortest-visit for Lisa's bridal shower last week. I'm heading to Joann's to get the gingham - I'm sure they'll have some, it's a basic print and pretty universal - and I'm so excited!

I love quilts! I love my sister! I love this little gentleman!

Lily's Getting A...

2011-06-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

brother!

we couldn't be more excited!!!

a little boy is comin' our way!!!

AT LAST

2011-06-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

The medical office I was recommended to use for my time here as a prego in Louisville was called Advocates for Women. And for the last three and a half weeks, that name seemed quite contradictory. I've been trying to be seen by one of their doctors and have an ultrasound but the paperwork was endless. Not helped by my lack of fax or phone. And once they got my records from my doctor in Montreal, they didn't want to take me on for just one visit, because it was too great a liability. But after e-mailing back and forth with the correspondent there, and getting nowhere, I decided today that enough was enough. I packed up Lily and drove to their office to speak to someone in person. Phone would have sufficed, but we don't have one yet. And what a difference it made!

I finally found my advocate in a blessed woman named Krista.

When I explained my situation - that I was only here for 9 weeks and I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant today, and that I needed my 20 week ultrasound, and that in Canada, if I didn't get it between 19-22 weeks, I'd have to wait until the final 32 week ultrasound, and that I didn't know where else to go for my predicament, oh that's when things got good. Krista left the room to be my advocate to the doctor who said I was too great a liability, only to return in a few seconds with a beaming smile on her face. "He'll do it!" she said, as if it were a personal victory for her and she was as relieved as I was.

God, thank you for answering my prayers today, in the very person of Krista. Everything I asked you to do, you did, through this woman.

My ultrasound, appointment, and when I'll find out the sex of Lily's sibling are TOMORROW @ 2pm. Tomorrow! I am so thankful and relieved. Tomorrow, almost four weeks of frustration will pay off. Going down there was such a good decision. I didn't want to because it was hot, we don't have a car with AC, and I'd have to take Lily during her nap time, but all of those things seem worth it now. Tomorrow. 2pm. YES!

Oh, and this ultrasound and appointment will cost me a pretty $400 penny since I'm here in the States. Gulp. I know Our provincial insurance will cover it back home (Just for being Canadian, hello!), and if for some reason they don't, our insurance through work will, but I still have such a hard time swallowing that pill - $400 cash to see a doctor and find out the details about the health of your baby. The same procedure that in Canada is FREE in public health care, and only $75, should you choose to go to a private clinic. Definitely not idea or fair, but I'm thankful to have the appointment, and that God has provided for us, allowing us to front that beastly bill.

Tomorrow. 2pm. Can't wait!

update

2011-06-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

OK so it's been a while since I blogged about this pregnancy. Honestly, there's not much to tell. It's going great, no symptoms except fatigue (which I've basically had for 2 years now so I don't tend to even think about it as a "symptom" but more so as my constant-reality!), and no word yet on when I'm having my ultrasound.

I've signed the necessary forms and now I just need to scan them to the e-mail address of the lady I've been in contact with at Advocates for Women - the women's health clinic I'm going to for my prenatal care while I'm here. Then they'll fax my doctor in Montreal, acquire my files, and hopefully take me on as a patient (read: BOOK MY ULTRASOUND!)

My bump is really showing now, which is super fun. I continue to be thankful for my dear friend Loni who, two summers ago, lent me her grey maternity shorts from Thyme. It's my second summer living in them and I LOVE them. I also picked up some maternity leggings from Target that are amazing. I wear them any day the temperature is under 85 degrees.

Lily and I went shopping at the Goodwill store today and got some amazing things! I found a beautiful, perfect condition Beatrix Potter sleep sack with arms that has a kimono closure. I can't wait to wrap a newborn baby up in it. It is beautiful, is gender-neutral, and for $3 how could I leave it at the store?

Another incredible find were the $2 Pottery Barn Kids bumper pads. I decided to forgo buying bumper pads with Lily because I'd heard babies can suffocate in them. Plus we didn't have the extra $30 odd dollars, and no one bought them for us (easy decision). But then once we put Lily in the crib as a newborn we saw how silly the fears were and learned that something like 2 babies have died from that cause in the last ten years, and it wasn't ever fully proven as the main cause of death - just speculative in SIDS cases. Now, I'm all for safety, and since some think they're unsafe, I'd never try to convince someone to use them in their child's crib, but Lily didn't even roll until she was 6 months old, and though she's rolling now at nearly 10 months, she's currently sleeping in a crib with bumper pads (the home we're subletting has them), and we see no cause for concern. In fact, my main concern is that they're not high enough! Lily often gets her ankle stuck between the spindles which probably hurts a bit, but mainly scares her when she can't get it out.

this is the only Pottery Barn pic I could fine and it's in the wrong colour... but you get the idea - awesome.

Anyway, I told Brad I really wanted to get bumper pads for this baby because they add such a nice touch to any nursery and would potentially prevent any more ankle incidents - plus Target had the perfect set that would match Lily's green and orange nursery that she'll soon be sharing. I was prepared to spend the $30, but then saw light green and white gingham bumper pads by Pottery Barn Kids for $2 today! FYI, I looked them up and they retail for about $89.00. Huzzah!

more names rejected...

2011-06-10T13:20:00.000-07:00

Since our boy name is already chosen (and left over from when we didn't know if Lily were to be a girl or boy), the real trouble for us has been finding a girl name. Here's a short list of names I'd love to use that my hubby has rejected:

Penny
Penelope
Zoe (fair enough, his mom had a pet named Zoe so I get it...)
Chloe (can you tell I have a thing for names that end in the sound "ee"?)
Beatrice (B or Bia for short)
Camille
Isla
Mai (pronounced "May" but spelled the French way)

There are a couple others I didn't list because he hasn't said no yet... so I'm holding out hope! And only one name we both like, but haven't agreed is "the one" yet...

This is hard work!!

rant.

2011-06-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

FACT: I experienced more convenient and immediate health care for my pregnancy when I was in AFRICA.

FACT: Wait times in the USA for a doctor's appointment are just as long as they are in Canada and there are at least as many hoops to jump through to see a physician.

FACT: I am very unhappy so far with the medical treatment (or lack there of) I've received here as a paying customer, in the USA.

FACT: Canadian health care is great. Free. Thorough. Efficient. And I really miss it.

waiting game...

2011-06-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

I AM SO IMPATIENT.

We don't have a cell phone yet, so I haven't been able to call the doc whom I was recommended yet, so I don't have an appointment yet, so I don't know the sex of the baby yet. To all wondering.

I need to wait a few more days for our phone to work, but I've decided that on Monday, I'm actually driving to her office and personally requesting an appointment. None of this calling in business. That's for people with phones, after all.

So no news on the baby gender front.

Some exciting news, I've started feeling baby no.2 kick a lot! I was getting nervous because up until a couple days ago I hadn't felt much and people have mentioned I don't even look pregnant here. Which is funny, because at the beginning my belly ballooned. I was wearing maternity cloths like 2 months SOONER than with Lily. But the belly has plateaued and I'm normal, if not on the small side for my progress into the 17th week. Which was slightly worrisome, because I LOVE to worry apparently... until I started feeling kicks. First small slight ones, and now the type that interrupt my sleep.

What a beautiful reason to not be getting much sleep :)

Grandma names: LOVE

2011-05-28T06:09:00.000-07:00

Two friends of ours have recently had baby girls. Both in Quebec (thus needing a bi-lingual name), too. I just love the names I've seen coming up!!

Our first friends from church to have a baby girl, other than us, named her Audrey Erna. Ahhh, I'm such a sucker for old lady names, though Audrey isn't exclusivly known as being from our grandparents (though it's definitely got some history), Erna is just classic. Pure heritage name, and I LOVE IT! If only I could get Brad on board such such things...

Then we just heard the news that our friends Chuck and Sarah had a baby girl and named her Lucie Jane. Melt.My.Heart. LUCIE!?!?!? J'adore. Both classic, historical, even heritage type names. I can picture a grandma with either name, yet also a baby... Maybe because these type of names are more in these days? Either way, two beautiful choices that I just love.

Now if only I could get Brad on board for my classic, heritage name of choice: Beatrice! He says it's not happening any time soon :(

50/50

2011-05-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Looks like this time around, people are less certain of the sex of the baby!

With Lily I often heard "I hope you have a girl" and "you look like you're having a boy". I've learned neither of those comments are particularly helpful. First of all, hoping someone will have a certain gender expressed that there's a preference, and that you think one is better than the other. I've been tempted here before. I really wanted a girl, even if all the rest were boys. But thinking that is so dangerous because if that girl never comes, I've set myself up for disappointment. If I have all boys, am I missing out? When I meet someone who has many boys and is pregnant I'm tempted to hope they have a girl, but why? Because I value girls over boys? I'd say no, but that's really how it looks. And whether it's true or not, it's just plain old unhelpful. So lets (me included) cut it ok? Deal?

I have said I hope baby No. 2 is a girl. I'll admit it. It seems it would be the easiest since they'll be so close in age and sharing a bedroom for basically forever since we'll always be city-dwellers in small spaces. Plus we have the clothes. Oh the clothes! It would be a shame for all of those tutus to never be worn again :) But I need to stop it! We'll find out in a few weeks and basically, it's a 50/50 shot either way, so why concern ourselves with it? Why have I set up in my head an ideal? A baby is ideal. Not a girl.

Preachin' to myself. Thanks for listening.

That baby grew...

2011-05-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

I remember being about 4 months pregnant with Lily, into my 2nd trimester and enjoying more energy and experiencing a day out of the blue of PURE fatigue. Like I could hardly stay awake ALL day. When I posted on facebook about it, my friend Sue said "that baby grew!". It was mostly a joke, but made sense in my mind... My non-medical-school-taught mind :-)

Well tdoday was that day again. After 2 nights in a row of 6 hours of sleep max and no naps, I slept like a baby last night and took 2 naps today... And it sill wasnt enough! It's 8:30pm and I'm exhausted. Thankfully, I'm still on mat leave and will be until August, and Lily takes two 2-hour naps each day...so guess what I do? Yep. Zzzzzzzz

With all the fatigue pregnancy brings, I'm actually not sure how I would do it, for the 2nd time this year, if Lily were older. I mean shes still a BABY which has its tials, but babies NAP people!! So even though I'm up at 7am with her, I can nap at 10am and 2pm, which is basically around when my mind and body decide to shut down from total fatigue. I seriously think this is EASIER (dare I go there...?) than my 1st pregnancy, even with a babe at home... Working full time pregnant was SO HARD. I'll likely never do that again, but looking back, it was really something. Having a baby at home makes SOME things way harder, but the whole sleep thing is really working for me this pregnancy.

Something to think about in regards to child-spacing ;-)

GIVE AWAY HAPPENING TODAY!

2011-05-06T06:50:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder, at my other Blog - {our nest in the city} there is a give away happening NOW!

It's for 1 free print from the Etsy shop, Naptime Diaries, and you can choose from prints like these:

Beautiful, aren't they? So pop by and enter. The give away ends tonight @ 11:59pm.

re-framing how we see the expense of adoption

2011-05-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

Consider this: Adopting a child internationally costs about the same as BIRTHING a child locally, if you don't have medical coverage. Kristen @ Rage Against the Minivan blogs about adoption and parenting and she has a couple kids from her and her hubby and through adoption. She recently broke down the costs of one of her adoptions (they adopted two boys, both from Haiti, at different times) in answering the common question "why does adoption cost SO much?" You can read it here. What I found fascinating is that her adoption of Kembe from Haiti cost slightly more than her c-section birth of Karis. Both were "out-of-pocket expenses", which I interpret to mean they had to pay for it themselves (though I could be wrong).

Now, I'm Canadian and have free health care as a Canadian citizen. I thank God for this regularly, and though I pay a lot of it out in taxes, I'm thankful that my government values making this free. To birth Lily and stay in the hospital 2 nights after the birth, it cost $354. That fee would have been free, but Brad and I opted (and were so glad we did) for a private room, which was $177/night. I don't take this lightly, especially after reading of an average American woman paying $26,000 "out-of-pocket" to birth her child. But it does get me thinking. Why are we so hung up on how expensive adoption costs? In most countries, there are high fees to stay in a hospital and see as many nurses and doctors and specialists as one does when they have a baby and we never say "how do you justify having a BABY?" though people are asked every day how they financially justify adoption or even considering adoption. As Canadians, it's easy to be put off by $26k for a baby, because for us it's free to birth a child, but the concern and general distaste for the fees of adoption are worldwide, not just in Canada. I'm sure in the USA, people grumble just as much about how expensive adoption is, and they pay the same amount to have their children (if they aren't covered 100% by a health insurance company).

In my heart of hearts, I believe adoption is for more people than we think. It's easy to say "adoption is too expensive" and shrug it off because it's a great excuse. $26k IS A LOT OF MONEY. Don't get me wrong. I don't have that sitting in the bank and I don't think everyone should spend that amount today on adoption. But I do think more people would consider adoption if they could get past the cost. While the cost is not likely to drop any time soon, maybe re-framing our thoughts around the issue are more urgent.

Considering that birthing a child costs the same amount, that adoption fees add up over time (it's not a wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am payment all at once), and that ultimately a human being is worth far more than $26k is a good place to start.

can't wait

2011-05-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, as my husband reminded me today (where would I be without him!? missing appointments to say the least...) is my first doctor's appointment with Dr. Hall for baby No. 2. Which means we get to hear his/her heartbeat! What a sweet sweet sound. I have to admit I'm always a bit nervous that we won't hear it or find it. Until tomorrow we've just assumed everything is perfectly fine, but we won't know anything until we hear that heartbeat. Now, with this baby I'm far less concerned. Partly because I've had one healthy baby and all my worrying for Lily was for naught, and partly because Lily is such a great distraction that my mind just can't always go 'there'. It's too busy being present, with her. But it's always a bit scary...

Things that lead me to also worry less (and should have the last time I was pregnant but probably nothing could ease the worries of my first-time-mom-psycho-self) are my growing belly, the slight movements I've been feeling (though 13 weeks is early for that and I didn't feel Lily until around 16-17 weeks), and my continuous nausea and fatigue. It's funny how horrible all of that seems to be, but how wonderful at the same time, because it is all, indeed a sign of LIFE.

Anyway... tomorrow is the day! Please pray with us and a healthy heartbeat and everything else :)

cloth diapering for baby #2

2011-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

check out Our Nest In The City for my most recent post about the downside (finally some balance, you're probably thinking!) of my favourite thing - cloth diapers! I've been really one-sided, because honestly, my experience had been one-sided until now. But they don't last forever as I thought they did (naive?), so they won't be saving me as many thousands as I'd thought.... $500-$1000 is still a lot of savings, but less than I thought, so I may buy more, and a different kind....

Check it out for deets!

baby mobile idea

2011-04-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

we already have one... but for anyone interested.... i found a beauty FREE mobile download. just add a branch + string :)

Thanks, CHILDREN INSPIRE DESIGN!

https://childreninspiredesign.com/content/free-download

12 weeks today!

2011-04-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

first trimester, peace out!

I won't miss you. You are by far the worst part of being pregnant. Scratch that... stretch marks are... but you are dang close! Even with Diclectin this time around it was hard... Nausea was kept at bay once I started taking it (and will SO be taking it from day one with the next pregnancy for sure) but the fatigue was so limiting. Actually, Diclectin heightened fatigue probably 2 fold as it's the most common side effect of the drug. Which was pretty hard before Brad's Paternity leave (only in Quebec does the baby daddy get 5 weeks ON TOP of my one year of Maternity leave!), but is now not a problem since my sainted husband is doing nearly all of Lily's morning feeds and letting me sleep. I'm a lucky woman :)

But, that said, his pat leave is winding down at the perfect time... my energy has been slightly back to normal and in about a week I'll stop taking Diclectin which will hopefully result in even less fatigue, and not result in nausea...

Thought so far:

when you have a baby at home, the 1st trimester's worries (of potential miscarriages, specifically) seem less powerful. I'm thankful to have had Lily as a constant distraction during this season as last time around I had a lot of trouble keeping faith that God holds all things together in his perfection.... that He is in control...that he would provide the grace we need if a miscarriage was our lot... and all of that. I like to think I've grown spiritually since I was pregnant with Lily, but I do believe her as a distraction was also part of my not-so-stressed state this time.
I can not WAIT for this summer and the second trimester. I know I'll have more energy. I will be at the best part of my pregnancy in the best part of the year - Spring and Summer!! Once the 3rd trimester rolls around and my body is hotter than an oven (and we all KNOW I'm not taking about appearance because lets face it - it's the opposite hehe!) it will be Fall and the temp will be oh-so-perfect... oh God's timing with this pregnancy was beautiful!
Lily is increasingly autonomous now that she's sitting by herself, which is nice that I don't have to be with her every second of her awake time. Especially key for those gross-feeling days. On the other hand, she's getting HEAVY (almost 19lbs!) and carrying her little body around is taxing me like no other. Hope she either walks soon or energy comes back to me...
i LOVE being a mom. and i CAN.NOT.WAIT for another babe.

200

2011-04-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

In 200 days {give or take} I'll have another baby.

I have a thing for numbers, so when I saw my baby ticker on the right say I had 200 days to go, it made me smile. Such a smooth, even number. I'm almost done my first trimester, tired as heck, and in love with Lily and Momhood like no tomorrow. Another one? Yes please. Can't wait.

See you in 200 days baby boy/girl.

Oh and roughly 56 days we'll find out the answer to that last question :)

another MM travels the globe...

2011-04-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

OK so not the GLOBE. But the continent :)

With Lily in the oven, we traveled twice to Africa, and once to Spain and France. She would have quite the passport if it were required for the unborn to carry them. For Baby #2 it's not looking like we'll do much over seas travel, but this baby will and has hit the USA pretty hard before her/his November birth day.

We just got back from an enormously encouraging trip to Chicago for the Gospel Coalition conference (will definitely be blogging in time, on Our Nest in the City about that) and in just a few short months we'll be taking up residence in Louisville, Kentucky for all of June and July as Brad studies there for his MDiv at Southern Seminary.

I'm so excited for Louisville! Brad will be in classes pretty much all day Monday-Friday, but it's an amazing city, where I actually know a few people already, and have lots to explore with Lilygirl. The seminary where Brad will be studying even has an on-campus clinic for students (and their families) where I can get as many ultrasounds as I want for $5 a pop! Not bad considering in most places in the USA, it's over $100 if you don't have coverage (and we won't since were not American, other than travel insurance). We can't wait to find a church down there and get connected to the community. The temptation when you're in a place for a short time is to just keep to yourself but that's not "us" and definitely not our plan.

And something tells me traveling pregnant to Louisville will be far easier than Africa and Europe, so I'm definitely game!

pill popper

2011-04-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

I caved. I'm taking it. And only one thought keeps wizzing through my mind.

what was I thinking not taking this sooner!?

I'm loving Diclectin, a drug perscribed for pregnant women to combat nausea. I'd been recommended it by my doctor and other mom/pregnant friends while I was pregnant with Lily but I resisted. I thought I knew better. I was also a bit proud. Seem familiar? Yep. Same as when I thought I would never get an epidural. How pregnancy and childbearing humbles us!

There are few side effects of note, and the most significant one is fatigue. Like a pregnant women needs more of that, right? But honestly, even the fatigue which is added to my existent fatigue is nothing compared to the glories of feeling perfectly normal every morning. Added bonus, now that my nausea is gone, I no longer feel the urge to vomit when most smells or tastes come my way. Including the smell and taste of coffee. So that's helping :)

One drawback is the price. We have fairly good coverage with our health insurance, provided through our employer, but for some reason Diclectic isn't covered. Nnormally we'd get 80% off prescription meds but we have to pay the full $140/month for this wonder-drug. Thankfully I waited until my 8th week to start taking Diclectin, so I'm only planning on taking it for 4 weeks, and by the time I'm done, I'll be in the second trimester and likely not experiencing nausea anyhow. There may be a few painful days in between, but I'm not getting another month's supply of it, knowing my nausea dissipated at about the 12.5 week mark with Lily.

My advice? Do what's right for you. Trust yourself and your doctor.

But be very aware of ego and pride. Because they can be very powerful forces in decision making for pregnancy, childbearing, and parenting. And pride is an ugly, ugly thing.

and psssssssssssssst! it comes before the fall.

{prv 16:18}

heart-stopping

2011-04-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

Grey's Anatomy last night blew my mind. Not talking about how the usually-drama-packed series turned musical (that was just plain awesome). No, I'm talking about the baby that was delivered at 23 weeks because her mom was in a serious car accident, making delivery imperative.

Seeing a 1lb baby delivered to LIVE stopped my heart. I have friends who work in the NICU (neo-natal ICU) of children's hospitals too, and they have confirmed, that it's indeed possible. At 23 weeks, a baby can be delivered, and live.

It just struck me how resilient little babies really are. How beautiful they are, even when they're only a pound. When you're pregnant with a baby, and are 23 weeks along, you feel so far from being a mom. My sweet friend Jamie is 19 weeks as I write this, and is barely showing, but in a few weeks, if she had to deliver that baby (with medical help, to be sure!) it could live. I'm just amazed by that. Astounded.

It also breaks my heart, and my being to the core, that a baby's life can be terminated up until 37 weeks (full-term), in the womb, in Canada.

Thoughts swirling around in my head:

Babies are resilient.

Life is so valuable, but can be taken swiftly and easily.

Pregnancy is an awe-inspiring thing.

I'm already a mom of two.

Even if it doesn't feel like it, I have children.

showing already

2011-03-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

One of the strangest parts of back-to-back pregnancies is how quickly you start "showing" the second time. With Lily I sailed through my first trimester with no one having a clue I was pregnant - except my fatigue and sickness. I didn't start to show until around 14 weeks. With baby #2 it's almost immediate.

{5 weeks pregnant}

When Lily was 5 months old I started a pretty hard core (for me) ab routine. It was about 5 different types of sit-ups, repeated with five less reps each time. So, 25 of each of the 5 sit-ups, then 20, 15, 10, 5. I borrowed from pilates and was literally shaking come the 15 mark... but it was great. Invigorating, and I was seeing results. Then I got pregnant. And within 4 weeks, the results had vanished. I continued the routine, but it did nothing. Sure, inner core strength is still great to have when your body is changing through pregnancy, but visibly, my abs were long gone. And the baby bump had returned!

I remember with Lily, all I wanted was to "show". I was so desperate for validation that what I was experiencing was for a purpose. And that purpose could do the talking for me once I had a baby bump.... I wouldn't have to explain to everyone who thought I was slacking that I was pregnant. This time couldn't be more different! My body was just getting back to normal, I was just starting to comfortably fit into old jeans... Plus with a baby already, I don't feel the need to explain my fatigue or why I need to cancel plans sometimes - people just assume it's Lily!!

Anyway, in all, I'm fine with showing already. I do wish I had a little while longer to look and feel normal after pregnancy #1, but the bump is a reminder than this is for real - and some days you need that. Sometimes, especially early on, you can forget that all this is not for naught - it's for LIFE. For a little baby. For an addition to your family. For a sibling for Lily. For another child for Brad and I.

Sickness, fatigue, food aversions, can all just seem frustrating before you're "showing" because it's easy to loose perspective. And with this baby bump, whether it came at the time I wanted it or not, I'm able to keep perspective and get excited about what's to come.

all I wanna do...

2011-03-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

moms of babies don't get sick days.

moms of babies don't get snooze buttons.

moms of babies don't sleep in.

moms of babies that are having other babies are very sleepy.

I'm going through a season. A season has an end (it's not a lifetime), but it is usually a good chunk of time. My season is having babies. Babies are work and definitely make their mamas tired. But pregnancy... that's a whole other thing. When I was pregnant with Lily I slept a LOT. I would race home from work and be in bed by 8pm. Sleep 12 hours. Then on weekends it was more like 14. That was beautiful. I didn't see it at the time, but it was a luxury that will get less and less likely with every passing baby. But you know, I'm doing better on this amount of sleep than I would have been last time I was pregnant. Guess my body is learning how to do with less when it needs it the most.

Ladies in your first pregnancy.... SLEEP to your heart's content!

Moms of more than 1 baby and 1 in the womb... you probably never sleep and think I'm getting tons.

You're my heroes.

If I could exclusively consume...

2011-03-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

I would.

Me, sweet tooth mayor of the world... onto flavourless, if not salty and/or spicy carbs and stuck on them for who knows how long.

I haven't baked in a week.

I have sticks of butter just sitting in my fridge.

A whole carton of eggs left for eating as normal breakfast meals (imagine!).

Must be pregnant. Come trimester 2, Come.

i survived

2011-03-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

Brad comes home late tomorrow. After a week away. And my first real week of heavy duty pregnancy symptoms. Phewf! I was fading...

I can't believe Saturday is almost here... I have the chills, I'm nauseous constantly, am exhausted, and have no help with morning feeds when all I want to do is sleep sleep sleep.

Hurry home baby.

morning sickness

2011-03-10T05:14:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's here again. This pregnancy began a bit differently than my last one. Less fatigue and no nausea (I didn't even know I was pregnant until I took the test, whereas a couple days after conceiving Lily I had tons of symptoms), but now it's looking a whole lot like last time.

I woke this morning at 5:30am (after a brutal night sleep that maybe only lasted a couple hours) feeling like I should eat something or I was going to be sick... but then you play those mind games where you think "hmmmm, maybe if I just get really comfy, I'll fall asleep and the nausea will dissipate" when really making the conscious decision that "yes, I'm going to puke. I might as well go do it right now and get it over with" is much wiser.

Pregnancy sickness is different (for me, at least) that any other kind of flu where throwing up is involved. It's not as overt that your whole stomach is violently turning. It's more of a subtle, deep nausea, that only goes away with copious amounts of flavourless food (yum!) or vomit. Once I "decide" that I'm going for it, as soon as I have my head down in the sink or toilet, that's when the fireworks begin.

That's the danger: there's too much control in it for me. With the flu, you just throw up. With morning sickness, I debate in my bed for half an hour, losing more sleep, and then finally begrudgingly tip toe to the kitchen sink (my throwing up locale of choice), move all the dishes I haven't washed, and then a couple of minutes later it's over. Then I wash the sink (I know, sounds like a lot of trouble, but has it occurred to anyone that people go number 2 in toilets? That grosses me out enough to not want my head there if I can help it.) and the dishes that I should have done last night, and try to fall back asleep. Sometimes possible, depending on how early I'm sick - today it was before 6am so I could since I wake up at 7am, even though Lily rises a lot earlier and the whole house knows it :)

Oh morning sickness, it feels like I was just rid of you!

But this time around, I know what wonders await, so you're even more worth it.

prenatal yoga

2011-03-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

I was looking online for a dvd series for prenatal yoga and fitness before I actually knew I was pregnant. I just knew it was something I wanted to try with this pregnancy, especially because with Lily I didn't exercise at all.

Now, to be fair, I was extremely dizzy with Lily (fainting in the supermarket doesn't lend itself well to high hopes for pregnant exercising!) so that was part of it, and worried about hurting myself or the baby.

But this time I'm feeling much better. A bit more energy during the sleepy first trimester than I had with Lily is just enough to motivate me! So a friend recommended www.fitmommagazine.com and there I saw links to buy prenatal yoga dvds. Yoga is excellent for circulation (which you're totally robbed of during pregnancy!), building core muscles, targeting specific muscles for strength building (such as the pelvic floor muscles which are so crucial for labour and delivery) and increasing flexibility that make pregnancy more comfortable and delivery smoother. Aside from the religious connotations, I'm 100% on board with yoga, but I firmly believe that as a Christian I can benefit from and use things like yoga (that are strongly Hindu and Buddhist in origin, though today only in some practices) with a clear conscience and spirit.

So yoga it is. I started yesterday and so far it's great. I love the specific instruction to pregnant women. There are three women practicing yoga, one in her first trimester, one in her second, and one in her third, so as your pregnancy progresses you just follow a different woman. Surprisingly I'm a little sore this morning! Though it seems like a very relaxing exercise, it's really working those muscles!

The best part is, right before I was about to buy the yga dvd off the fitmom website, I did a quick craigslist search and found a woman selling both the prenatal yoga dvd and prenatal fitness dvd for $2 each! Oh how I love a good deal :)

Check out the video I'm using that I found on youtube if you like:

crazy.

2011-03-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

2 ~~kids~~ babies in 15 months is pretty crazy.

That is just starting to set in...

Lily will be a scant 15 months older than MM2.

Still in so many ways a baby herself.

But an older sister nonetheless.

So excited.

So in love already.

So crazy...

bump #2

2011-03-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

The three of us (especially Lily) are excited to meet you!

That's right, officially announcing my pregnancy!

We just found out (we decided to forgo the 3 month waiting period this time) and are probably around 5 weeks along, making the probable due date the first week of November. I'll be getting a dating ultrasound in the next couple weeks to be sure.

Would love your prayers, I'm one tired mama!

in a GREAT place.

2011-02-24T13:49:00.000-08:00

we did it.

We made it to March (almost) without getting pregnant!

Most of you are laughing whilst shaking your heads, because it shouldn't be such a gamble, but let me explain.

We decided we wanted our first two babies quite close in age. Somewhere around 16-20 months apart. SO after we had Lily, I stopped nursing, and everything was...well...business as usual again, there was a not-so-huge window of time to hope we didn't get pregnant. Such a short window of time that going back on the pill would be a roller coaster of symptoms (women, you know what I mean!) we weren't willing to play around with. Basically by the time my body adjusted to the hormones the pill would be pumping into it, it would be time to go off the pill, and it would all happen again. No thanks.

But also, post-baby, post-breast feeding, post-pregnancy, my cycle is post-normal and it's impossible to know for sure what's going on, so natural family planning is also out the window. So we kind of just tried our best to be careful and hope that we didn't get pregnant until around now because of the extremely exciting weddings I'm going to be a part of this summer and fall. Other than that we would have been cool with getting pregnant even sooner, because, well Lily is awesome :)

But now we're in that "safety zone" where if I did get pregnant, I could still attend and participate in Lisa AND Missy's weddings.... GLORY!

So we're in a great place. Not desperate to get pregnant, but thrilled if we do. Enjoying baby Lily to the max, but open to a second baby Morrice, whenever.

will i ever be this self-less?

2011-02-24T11:43:00.001-08:00

Wedding Gifts from Nick Benoit on Vimeo.

adoption

2011-02-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

A year ago i would have never considered it.

I understood why people did it, but it wasn't for me.

I thought.

And for the record, we're not adopting officially or any time soon. Brad is still warming up to the idea (can you blame him? this has been a VERY recent thing on my heart), though he's not against it at all. But video testimonies like this make it impossible to ignore.
The need. The opportunity. The privilege.

{local adoption}

{international adoption}

phewf!

2011-01-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

EXHALE.

relief sweeps in... which of course makes no sense to you all because you weren't in on the pregnancy scare I just experienced... but a scare it t'was. Being pregnant is not scary (hard but not scary). Having another baby this soon is not scary (hard but not scary). Having an unplanned pregnancy is not scary (hard but not scary) But missing the weddings of my TWO bests.... horrifying!

For a while there I thought I may have been... The baby would have been due on September 2nd. Precisely 1 week after Lisa's wedding and 4 weeks before Missys. And if the second time around was to be anything like the first... I'd have missed both.

Lily came a week early, so there goes Lisa's wedding, and my recovery was SLOW and PAINFUL and breastfeeding was VERY DIFFICULT and EXTRAORDINARILY TIME CONSUMING (Lily would go on 6 hour binges because I wasn't producing enough upfront to satisfy her) making driving to Ontario for 7 hours to be the maid of honour in a wedding when the baby was 3-4 weeks old also, impossible.

But alas, NOT PREGNANT!

And evermore excited for the event{s} of 2011: Wedding bliss for Lisa and Missy!

Love you girls, and can't wait ti share in your special day{s}

xoxo

memories and planning

2010-12-26T18:49:00.001-08:00

I was just reading over a couple of posts from before Lily was born. I was waiting eagerly and not-so-patiently to meet my baby girl, totally unaware of what was before me as a mom. I was set on having a natural, epidural-free childbirth (Ha!) I was afriad and excited.

The things that stressed me out were not knowing what the heck I was doing and baby-fying our office before she came so she wouldn't be "homeless". What an incredible difference a few months makes!

Today, her room is the last thing on my mind, even though there are elements of it I'm still pulling together. The big picture becomes real when the baby is actually born and you start stressing about things that matter: breastfeeding, the health of the baby, sleep {mine and hers!}, vaccines, family planning, etc. Oh when life was simpler! But it's so much richer now, and I love our chaotic life, even if, at times of weakness, I may or may not deny it. Ahem.

Anyway, as I read a couple of posts from last summer, memories came flooding back. The truth is, you learn a lot by DOING and of course reading and not being afraid to ask for help. I wish I knew that when I was worrying about not knowing enough.

Not to mention, when I gave birth to Lily I knew the one thing I needed to know: I loved her. And with that fact, I was motivated to learn everything else. I wish I could tell my non-mom self this.

Would it have made a difference?

It's hard to think about being pregnant again, because it was such a long, life-altering experience the first time. Kind of seems like the type of experience you only live through once. Hence the once-in-a-life-time feel of holding your baby for the first time in all their goopy glory. But Lord-willing it will be a several-in-a-life-time experience, which brings me to this post.

We are thinking of trying for baby MM #2 this summer, but a lot of planning must take place. Why? Notably, I'm in two weddings. The weddings of the two most important women in my life {not including Lily and my mom}!

Lisa's wedding is August 20th, sound familiar? Yes and the bday girl will be their flower girl :)

And Missy's wedding is October 2nd. Two dates that are HUGELY important to me and ones I don't want to miss because I'm a) in labour b) too close to my due date or c) with a brand-new baby who needs me 24/7.

So planning is key. It always is, I suppose. But it REALLY is in this case. Missing either of those weddings would be heartbreak, even though the arrival of a baby would be a huge blessing. So we're thinking the most pregnant I'd like to be at Missy's wedding is a maximum of 7 months. Meaning April is the EARLIEST we'd like to get pregnant, but ideally, sometime this summer.

I really am so curious about what pregnancy is like the second time around. Will I have as many posts filled with self-doubt and stress? Hopefully not. Will I have the same symptoms as with Lily? Again, hopefully not! But there will be so many more things to think about: how will we prepare Lily for a sibling? Where will we live (we're thinking of buying this Spring)?, How will we handle two kids? What if MM #2 is a boy (Obviously having another girl would be easier since we already have everything, but it would be so exciting to have a boy too...)? And the questions continue.

Alas, memories are fun. I'm actively learning from them. That's why I wrote this blog to begin with. But planning is essential. best laid plans, and all that jazz...

the journey begins again

2010-12-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

disclaimer: I AM NOT PREGNANT.

But, I got my period for the first time since Lily was born, meaning, I can GET pregnant. (those were a great 12 months though!)

Time to start planning....

Lily Catherine Morrice

2010-08-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

{August 20th | 1:45am | 22 inches long | 7lbs 12 oz}

{Lily}
This flower and name are so dear to me.

My grandfather "Pa" always named the four of us, his granddaughters, his "flowers". He chose flowers that corresponded with our names and would take us to the Royal Botanical Gardens on "Pa Dates" when we were little and show us which flower was ours.

We were Lisa Lupin, Maggie Marigold, Sarah Sunflower, and Emily Lily.

Pa passed away in 2003 and lilies have become even more important to me - helping me remember him and how much he loved his family. How he would have loved to have met Lily.

{Catherine}
My mom's name is Catherine and since the beginning of my journey into motherhood I've always said, I so admire how my mom raised Lisa and I and I am so proud to follow in her footsteps.

She was my age when she had Lisa, her first, a beautiful girl, and now I have my Lily, just like my mom, Catherine.

Brad was in charge of choosing the middle name for Lily and he loved the idea of naming our daughters after their grandmas, so our next daughter (Lord willing we'll have lots more!) will have the middle name Rose, after Brad's mom :)

~
This marks the end of the Baby Bump (for now!) and the beginning of our life with a daughter. Thanks for journeying with me from the very beginning when Lily was just a thought and a prayer.
Find us Morrices, especially the newest member, @
{OUR NEST IN THE CITY}

Bienvenue, Lily!

ignorance is not equal to bliss.

2010-08-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm living in a waiting game.
Every woman who's nearing 39 weeks of pregnancy is.
I know I'm not experiencing anything unique of unlike all my other pregnant/mom friends, but I just can't help but feel SO out of the loop.

I don't know my body. I don't understand it, and I don't understand most of the advice I've been told. Something that would be good to realize sooner I agree, but something I couldn't comprehend until I was actually in the state I am now... ignorance.

Take contractions. On the movies the woman's screaming at the first sign of a contraction while she's still at the restaurant/school/public place-you-don't-want-to-go-into-labour-in... but everyone including my doctor has told me it's not like that. It's uncomfortable, it's a tightening of the whole baby bump (read: uterus), it almost feels like your baby is flexing and your whole belly becomes hard. Oh and not to go to the hospital until they last 60 seconds each, are every 5 minutes, and last for 1 hour. Fair enough.

OK. If that's true, I should have gone to the hospital about 12 hours ago. Last night around 12:30am I started getting regular "contractions". My whole stomach would go hard, I would feel the pressure and tightening and then after about 60 seconds it would relax, only to be repeated less than 5 minutes later... I would nod in and out of sleep but it was constant all night, and believe me I know, because I went to pee NINE TIMES. Yes, a new record for me.

But my intuition told me not to go to the hospital, that this wasn't the "big moment" and I was right... this morning I've had these so called contractions much less regularly. I'm glad I didn't rush off to the hospital because I would probably have just sat there for hours since I'm clearly not in labour... so I should be happy I didn't take the bait. But I'm just confused and frustrated.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Stupid Braxton-Hicks, you make me doubt my body and all the advice I've been given... and you may just be doing me a favour...

MM's Dresser Make-Over

2010-08-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

it looks terrific!!!!
{if I do say so myself}

Recap: we got this piece for $20 at a garage sale.

Then Brad painted it white with the paint we used for the trim in MM's room

They I covered the bland white change pad with a fun IKEA fabric and bought new knobs at the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store for $2 each

And lined the drawers with a fun wallpaper I also bought at the Re-Store for $2

Ta-Da!

The drawers are now all packed and MM's diapers, clothes, and general things have a home :) Now I'm feeling very prepared...her crib is yet to arrive but that's not as much a hurry since she has a bassinet home for the first month or so. So MM, if you're listening... you can come now.
kthanksbye.

SCORE!

2010-08-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

we were THIS CLOSE to buying the white, $170, Hemnes dresser from IKEA (below).

this close!!

I had dreamed of finding a cute old antique-looking, solid wood, and thus much better than IKEA plywood, dresser on Craigslist or Kijiji but after months of searching it seemed it wasn't in the cards. Everything I found online was either just people selling their old IKEA dressers or over $100, which to me is way too much for something second-hand!

So we were about to bite the bullet and get the white Hemnes dresser for the nursery until today Loni and I stumbled upon a garage sale in NDG while we were shopping at Emeline & Annabelle!
And there it was.
A beautiful, perfect-sized, antique-looking, complete with a key hole at the top, dresser with three drawers selling for $20!!!

We'll be painting it white and getting new hardware from the Re-Store this week.
Will show the finished product soon :)

2010-08-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

twenty three percent.
As I type this, it's a wonder my fingers aren't accidentally pressing the wrong keys and spelling gibberish.
My hands feel HUGE and they hurt like they've been belted, old-school disciplinary-style.
Apparently it's due to water retention, same as my feet, though the feet make way more sense - I'm walking on them a lot, holding up my 30lb-heavier frame, etc.
Hands just hurt and it makes a lot less sense, other than hormones pumping through my body and my body retaining water (which again is laughable since I'm peeing on the hour, every hour, even through the night).

Anyway, this post is HAPPY and I don't want it to be an outlet for my complaining (tempting....sooo tempting...) so I'll get to it.

Months ago I did a baby-cost calculator, which adds up the costs of the first year, mostly one-time costs like a crib, stroller, etc and some repeated costs, such as using disposable diapers, or clothes - especially if your next baby is the opposite sex.
I choose my options frugally even with this calculator, but the cost of baby's first year, should we be paying everything ourselves and paying the "going-rate" for these items was approximately $4500.

I'm typing proudly today because I've added up all of our costs, and thanks to extremely generous family (buying our big ticket items such as the stroller and crib) and the amazing craigslist/ second-hand community of Montreal (our car seat, 90% of our clothes, a free breast pump from a friend who didn't use it, etc) our personal costs were only $1,050!

23% of what we thought we'd be paying.

!!!!

correction: before I thought it was 27% but then we just found the dresser for $20 (plus we'll put $20 into it for supplies to spruce it up) instead of the one we were gunna buy, so now it's 23%!

"any day now"

2010-08-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

update: just over 2cm dilated, 70% effaced...

translation: "your baby could come any day now, I wouldn't be surprised if you're not at our appointment next week!" - Dr. M. Hall

a baby is being born AS WE SPEAK

2010-08-12T07:38:00.001-07:00

{not mine!}

But ahhhh it's so exciting.

Our dear friends Martin and Amy from our church here in Montreal are having a c-section literally as I type this post! It has been such a fun journey with them this past year.

In September Amy and I met for the first time and bonded pretty quickly and one of the things we both discussed over coffee was when we were going to start trying. It became something we talked about a lot even though we weren't ready to start trying officially... Then without consulting each other (not like we needed to!!) we both started trying, and BOTH got pregnant within days of each other!

They were exactly 10 days ahead of Brad and I and we all went through the same stages together - constant puking, misery, extreme fatigue, excitement, stroller shopping, starting to "show", cloth diaper buying, nursery decorating...

Since they're having a Cesarean their "due date" was pushed a bit forward, so now our kids will be two weeks apart instead of one, but it's so fun to think that they'll grow up together and we'll have friends who are experiencing the same things we are as the years go on. It's SUCH a blessing when you move to a new city to find a friend who you can relate to in such specific ways and to have things like kids and pregnancies knit you together even more.

Praying for them right now and so excited to meet their boy,
Adrian William

ps - something about friends who conceived at the same time as you really makes you realize you're too having a BABY soon. Obvious? Maybe. Wild and thrilling? YES.

OMG

2010-08-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh... where do I EVEN start?

Last night was our first prenatal class - yes we're extremely behind on that and had a good time seeing everyone's reactions when we were the "37.5 week's along couple" to the other "24, 25, 30 week parents".

But the good times were really only in making light of what a disaster the class was. I had a glimpse last night into what going to high school with my husband would have been like, and the truth is, I would have failed every class! We were doing everything in our power to not buckle over in roaring laughter in front of our less-than-prepared/aware/educated-teacher.

it.was.a.GONGSHOW.

Let me begin with out teacher. Whose credentials are that she WAS a nurse 15 years ago and did give birth twice, in the late 60's. Have times changed medically since then? naaaa, let's go with it. Groan. We had our hunches that she wasn't the most up to date on the current birthing process when she made comments like
"but honestly, people don't really get epidurals or they shouldn't ",
to a room of terrified, birthing-plan-ready, moms who had already made up their minds, or
"if they're kicking hard it's because they're a boy, boys are stronger than girls",
can you say Old School methodology?

But what really sold us on her inexpertise was the personal narrative of every labour stage. Instead of telling us medically and technically what is happening during this stage she just told us how SHE felt, 40 years ago.
Sentences like "you will be nervous but excited at this point, because I was" or "you probably will become introspective when you're 4cm dilated and not want to talk much to people around you, as I didn't" should never make their way into a professional, government-run hand-out to first-time parents to be, but oh there they were.

Aside from her lack of current medical knowledge, she was just plain rude, and it was HILARIOUS. She's one of those people that you find yourself saying often after she speaks "Oh No You Didn't..."
Yet it was so outrageous I don't think anyone was offended, just astonished.

Like when Brad and I walked in 1 minute EARLY but the class had already begun. There were no seats and she said "The class has begun, you may not find a seat". Um what does that mean? We signed up for this class and we're still early!?

Or the couple that came in AFTER us (God-forbid) that she didn't even greet or give hand outs to (they may have been 2 minutes late and were dressed in business clothing, clearly just coming right from work).

But my favourite was this poor single mom-to-be from LaSalle who our teacher decidedly hated from the get-go. When there would be a long pause and she would ask a question, our teacher would abruptly start talking over her and not let her ask until she rose her hand. Or when our teacher blatantly said "Because you're from LaSalle and not Verdun, you shouldn't be here. I wish you weren't because there are a lot of people in this class, but what can I do?"
She tried to explain that she lives on the boarder and it would take her 3 bus transfers to get to the LaSalle CLSC and only one straight bus to get to the Verdun CLSC which was met with more talking-over and a "yes but really you shouldn't be here" from our teacher.

Is she for real!?

Then she had us go around and say to the group that we've just met what all of our preferences for birth are (i.e. our birthing plan i.e. kind of personal). It was a hilarious time, where people were publically shamed for choosing the epidural or others made to seem cold-hearted for not having their moms in the room at the time of delivery. The good part being, everyone was in the same boat - hating it but getting a kick out of her audacity.

Lastly the video. OHHHHHH the video!
Aptly titled "Together in Love" and filmed no sooner than 1973, the film captured a couple whose marriage was clearly on the rocks having their first baby. It seemed more like a commercial for prenatal classes where we watched people doing what we should have been doing (i.e. learning breathing exercises), only decades prior. My favourite part was when the mom-to-be said "for the first time it felt like Paul and I were a team" to which someone in the class yelled "haven't they been married for 4 years? Paul's a dead beat!"

And so the class went on. A teacher who had no expertise and almost no English, with random materials in SPANISH of all languages, including a small Mexican statue of a woman birthing in the squatting position, her wielding her out-dated Quebecois cultural experience of birth on our unsuspecting class, and a video that was both terrifying (up close shots with little warning = scary!) and most certainly the same video our own parents watched in the 80's and laughed at for it's age and inappropriateness.

a little behind...

2010-08-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

For many reasons (i.e. traveling for 2 months this summer, visiting family in Ontario for weeks after that, not knowing if we were staying or moving apartments, etc) I am feeling very BEHIND.

I know the baby won't notice if her room is finished or not (but I will) but it's more than that... tonight we're starting our FIRST labour and delivery class of four, the last being precisely two days after our due date... The reason being, the class we should have taken was happening while we were in Africa this June. Apparently the last class should be exactly 1 month before your due date... Oops. Dropped the ball on that one!

I need to sit back and RELAX and enjoy these last few days/weeks before a baby infiltrates me and Brad's tight knit home and becomes our never-moving-out roommate that we love so much, we barely have time to think... I am so excited for her to come though that all I want to do is prepare FOR her instead of enjoy this time without her while it's here.

In reality, the things we have still to do aren't urgent (which is probably why they're not done) but to me they are because I want everything done and done right before she's born...

* we still need to buy between 6-10 more cloth diapers, but we're not starting cloth diapering until a month AFTER she's born

* we still need to get her correct crib in our nursery and assemble it, but she won't be sleeping in the crib until a month or even two AFTER she's born (bassinet will take care of that)

*we still need to take these labour and delivery classes, though my doctor's assured me that she knows what to do (duh) and the nurses and doctors are there to HELP me, so I won't be up a river with no paddle if I don't watch some terrifying video in the local health clinic with a bunch of strangers who are far less pregnant than me...

So really the things I'm behind on aren't something to stress about... I'm just stressing needlessly. But it's so hard not to! Stress is sometimes the easiest response when things don't go my way... Faith being the hardest and the most necessary.

Nursery {part 3}

2010-08-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

The work is progress!!!

Thanks to friends Alexandre and Amanda, plus my hard-working husband Brad, our nursery is finished being painted, and now only a few things remain until it's finished and put together.

In the meantime here and a few pics/hints to when the room will actually be a nursery :)

{Dr. Alexandre Cossette to the rescue}

{a glimpse into the fabrics/themes}

{fresh colour on the walls, all MM's stuff in her room}

{as if she gets the one room in our house with exposed brick!}

{our re-claimed living room, free from all of her things...for now!}

"hope your bag's packed!"

2010-08-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

Were the words from my OBG at our appointment,
with an excited smile on her face.

I can't imagine being pregnant for 3 weeks or more at this point - yet that's when my due date is... Though after my ultrasound last week, the theory was that I certainly wouldn't go late and maybe even would go a few days early (but these are just theories, I know). Even though all the while I was elated to hear this and was praying silently "please let me go a few days early, please!!"

Why?
(1) my husband is in the busiest time of the year for work on the first week of September. Having an August 28th due date complicates things in that he can't take pat-leave right away, and I'd love him to be around...

(2) my family had planned well in advance to run a half marathon (I know...and what have I done today?) in Quebec City on August 29th before knowing the due date... so if she comes a bit early, they would get to meet her, instead of going all the way back to Ontario (7 hours + driving) and then back to Quebec a few days later.

SO, all that to say, at today's appointment one of the first things I asked my doctor was "so, do you think I'll go early!?"

She laughed and said "your due date is pretty much set, and plus first time moms almost never go early... we'll start internal exams to see if you've begun to dilate next week as we don't expect you would anytime before then".

Oh. Sad times. But then she added, "but why not, lets do an exam now and see just to clear your head". THANK YOU LORD FOR THIS DOCTOR. I was so glad she was willing to just do it anyway, though she thought otherwise, because she knew it would give me peace of mind. Peace if I hadn't started dilating yet and peace if I had, to know either way.

To her surprise and my hopes, I HAD! She was surprised and laughed saying "wow! well you're almost 2cm dilated already... so happy we checked! I hope you've got your hospital bag packed, the baby will most definitely come before August 28th"

YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Now... to pack that hospital bag and finish the nursery... MM, can't wait to meet you!

reason 3,486,230,498 why I love the body of Christ

2010-08-04T05:21:00.001-07:00

I read this announcement in our church's weekly e-mail yesterday:

5. MEALS FOR THE PARENTS-TO-BE @GMC [from Melanie D'Almeida]
We are all excited and waiting with great anticipation the arrival of baby Zoellner (boy!) and baby Morrice (girl!). Melanie has taken the initiative to organize and prepare meals for a few days after Amy/Martin and Emily/Brad come home from the hospital with their new little bundles. It would just be a practical way to help out as they begin to get their feet back on the ground and adjust to being a new family of three. If you are interested in helping out, please contact Melanie D'Almeida

"let's get you a diaper bag"

2010-08-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

Music to my ears yesterday morning.

Bradford asked,
"is there anything you didn't get for your shower or we haven't bought that you'll need the first few months of MM's life?"

{as I'm having another baby shower from his dad's side of the family, but not until October}

"I guess a diaper bag is something I wanted but haven't yet got", I replied.

"let's get you a diaper bag", he beamed, knowing he's made my day

indeed he did.

Nursery {part 2}

2010-08-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

I'd say we're in the "calm before the storm" stage, wherein we are getting ready to re-do two rooms in our home and expecting a baby any week now... but really it's already a storm!

My nursery TO-DO list is slowly getting accomplished, but not without leaving the rest of my house/life in it's wake!
Good thing I'm on maternity leave and have the time, if only the energy! So here's a glimpse into what we've done so far:

{fabric hoops wall-art}

used left-over fabrics from the quilt my sister made
bought fabric hoops at Fabric Ville, about $2 each
this is actually the arrangement they'll hang on the wall in

{empty frame wall art}

inspired by pictures like this and this
bought all frames at Dollarama + spray paint

Stay Tuned!

Nursery {updated 'to do'}

2010-07-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

{this is a bit of a glimpse into my head as I plan MM's little room}

make curtains - DONE
buy curtain rod - DONE
make empty frame wall art like this - DONE
*buy empty frames, ribbon, and white spray paint - Dollarama - DONE
buy baskets for toys/things - DONE
buy shelf to display MM's fun things - Winners - DONE
buy white lanterns to hang above her crib - Dollarama - DONE
buy paint (cool beige, ideally) - Home Depot - DONE
move everything from the office (nursery) into the living room,
rearrange, and make clean again - DONE
hang fabric hoops wall art - DONE
paint walls, trim, ceiling (find friends to help!!) -DONE
buy laundry hamper - IKEA
buy rug - Canadian Tire
find dresser on Craigslist/buy one - IKEA?
assemble crib, make up w/ bedding
put up curtain rod, hang curtains
hang lanterns above crib

CLOTH DIAPERS!!!

2010-07-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited, I feel like the baby's actually coming the more prepared I become {as if she would wait for me to get it together?!}

We're still lacking a baby's room but everything else is in place, including as of yesterday, her cloth diapers! We decided it would probably be suicide to start cloth diapering from day one - you know in those weeks/month + when babies poop every 30 seconds? SO we're going with disposables for the first month+ and switching to cloth shortly after that - but we HAVE them, and that's what makes me feel less like the crazed, irresponsible mom who forgot to book prenatal classes, and more like, well a MOM.

I was going with the AppleCheeks system for several reasons including but not limited to:

They're a Montreal company
They're less bulky and probably the cutest one's I've seen
They have rave reviews

However last night I had a slight change in plans when I was at the Bummis 15% off everything in our store (plus 80% off other things!!) sale on the Plateau with my girlfriend Amy. Bummis doesn't carry Applecheeks for starters, but the main deal was they carry another product called Easy Fits made by Tots Bots (a Scottish company).

The Easy Fits lacked some things AppleCheeks do have:

not as cute colour selection and a tad more bulky
not local

But what they lacked they made up for in spades:

They're one-size fits-all, so with the AppleCheeks I'd have to buy size 1 and size 2 for the baby as she grows, but Easy Fit will last her the.whole.time. YES!
They're prestuffed {AppleCheeks and most other cloth diapering systems come in 2 parts: an envelope cover/outside shell and the actual absorbent lining which you fold and insert each time, and hence must also remove each time...when it's poopy and urine-soaked... yum!}
So with the Easy Fit I don't have to ever unstuff a soiled inner-part because it's all attached. **see clip here
They're cheaper {AppleCheeks were $20 for the outer part and $9 for the inner part, Easy Fits are $23 even, but last night even 15% off of that ;)

Now that I think about it I should have bought way more than I did... It's suggested you have 8-14 diapers {brilliant because the AppleCheeks you would have needed as many for EACH SIZE!} and I only bought 5... I guess I'm holding out because it always chokes me up to spend so much at one time... but looking back that was a bad call since they were 15% off last night and may not ever be again...

Oh well, I'll just think about how much money I'm saving both from switching from the AppleCheeks system, but most of all, from not using disposable :)

COULD IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

2010-07-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Healthy baby, head-down position, strong heartbeat, healthy movement, sucking her thumb, perfect glimpse of her adorable face, 5 lbs 6 ounces (approx) and suggested to be born around 7lbs, set for an on-time arrival (ONE MONTH TODAY!!!) or a few days early :)

But YES, it could have been better.
Bradford is still away with work until August 1.
I miss him SO much right now...