28.10.09

biological children or adoption

We had dinner last night with a new "couple friend" that we met through Brad's brother and ended up having an amazing time. Seems like we actually have more common with them! We talked for hours over common interests, and each was genuinely interested in the other's unshared interests (they're huge fans of the environment, everything green, vegetarian, etc, we talked a bit about our church, work, faith). Was a really nice night, and me being me got my new friend Erika talking about kids.

She shared my desire for kids some day (all be it further down the line than me) but is adamant about adoption.

She's a great listener and polite person, so she didn't trample on my wanting to "create something new" desire, but it was clear she thought wanting to enter your own kids into "a population that's already out of control and under fed" wasn't shared by her.

I'm not closed to the idea of one day adopting, I mean Brad and I travel so much with work that we've seen the world and the needs of kids and we're even the proud sponsors of little Farhana from Bangladesh, but right now there is no greater desire in my then to have a baby. "Have" as in carry, conceive, give birth to, nurse, care for from birth, etc. Should I feel guilty? I did at first but then retracted my guilt and now I'm just confused a little bit...

I guess the "recycle, reduce, re-use" saying is held by hard-core environmentalists in many realms of life, far beyond plastic and meat... I really like and respect this couple and the many people who choose to adopt (for all the reasons I've encountered, far beyond population control to passions for mercy and justice, love for certain countries where social programs are poor, inability to conceive, etc) - it's just not me.

One day maybe... Not closing the door to it whatsoever. But it really made me think last night...

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