Obviously I know everything changes when the baby in your belly becomes the baby in your arms. The baby that's able to grow up, misbehave, scream, embarrass you, etc.
MM won't always just be the silent kicks I feel around the clock or the reason for my waddle-walk.
She'll actually BE my daughter, great cause for anticipation and maybe some need for a reality check.
The reason I'm throwing out this disclaimer is that I UNDERSTAND that it won't always be easy, and that moms are some of the hardest working people on the planet and that they're not perfect, and we should all give them a break.
Sometimes. I understand.
BUT. My experience yesterday definitely had be saying that famous sentence than could result in a later eating of my own words:
"I NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE THAT MOM"
The scene of the crime was on the Toronto-Montreal Via Rail last night. Leaving at 6:30pm arriving at Midnight. Why she thought her 3 rambunctious kids under age 5 would be quiet and sleep is beyond me as she brought no books, toys, or blankets for them. Plus let's face it, trains are exciting. My problem isn't that they were awake or not the perfect Ritalin-pumped obedient kids everyone wishes kids always were...
My problem is this:
This mom did NOTHING to stop her 3 kids from literally SCREAMING for most of the train ride. Many passengers were staring at her desperately as if to plead "please, Lady, just maybe a WORD of rebuke? Please?". NOTHING.
Somehow I managed to slip off into a 5 minute nap to be awoken by the boy, at the top of his lungs, screaming "CHOO CHOO!!" (I know, trains are exciting, again, but it was the LEVEL OF VOLUME escaping from this kid and the lack of it from the mom. Infuriating).
So I did it. I was the "bad guy".
I leaned over (yes I was actually sitting directly behind them. Joy.)
and said politely,
"SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE ASK YOUR SON
JUST TO BE A BIT MORE QUIET? THANKS [SMILE]"
Passengers all but gave me a standing ovation, but guess what the Mom said to her boy?
"MAX, SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CHILDREN,
SO THEY WANT YOU TO 'SHUT UP'!"
!!!!!!
I couldn't believe it! She was making the train a complete nightmare for everyone around her, giving her kids not an ounce of discipline, spun from respect for others, while she read a book, and then blamed it on the 8-months-pregnant woman who apparently "doesn't like children".
!!!!!!
I was going to clarify that I indeed love children, but just that her kids were all not talking loudly, not yelling, but SCREAMING, and that many of us come 10pm were trying to get some shut eye... but I left it at that.
I didn't need to justify myself.
I just needed to remember that moment, because surely some day in my future my kids will be going crazy in public and I'll want to just escape and let them be someone else's problem for a minute (or 6 hours as the ride was) and the easiest thing to do would be to tone them out, ignore them, and hope they're not bothering anyone...
But the fact is, 50-odd people were bothered, and her kiddos are her responsibility. Her blessing. Her opportunity to teach them love and respect. Her little people to shape. Her kids to pack toys and books for and not to tell them that passengers "hate kids" and want them to "shut up".
Must. Remember. This. Moment.
MM won't always just be the silent kicks I feel around the clock or the reason for my waddle-walk.
She'll actually BE my daughter, great cause for anticipation and maybe some need for a reality check.
The reason I'm throwing out this disclaimer is that I UNDERSTAND that it won't always be easy, and that moms are some of the hardest working people on the planet and that they're not perfect, and we should all give them a break.
Sometimes. I understand.
BUT. My experience yesterday definitely had be saying that famous sentence than could result in a later eating of my own words:
"I NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE THAT MOM"
The scene of the crime was on the Toronto-Montreal Via Rail last night. Leaving at 6:30pm arriving at Midnight. Why she thought her 3 rambunctious kids under age 5 would be quiet and sleep is beyond me as she brought no books, toys, or blankets for them. Plus let's face it, trains are exciting. My problem isn't that they were awake or not the perfect Ritalin-pumped obedient kids everyone wishes kids always were...
My problem is this:
This mom did NOTHING to stop her 3 kids from literally SCREAMING for most of the train ride. Many passengers were staring at her desperately as if to plead "please, Lady, just maybe a WORD of rebuke? Please?". NOTHING.
Somehow I managed to slip off into a 5 minute nap to be awoken by the boy, at the top of his lungs, screaming "CHOO CHOO!!" (I know, trains are exciting, again, but it was the LEVEL OF VOLUME escaping from this kid and the lack of it from the mom. Infuriating).
So I did it. I was the "bad guy".
I leaned over (yes I was actually sitting directly behind them. Joy.)
and said politely,
"SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE ASK YOUR SON
JUST TO BE A BIT MORE QUIET? THANKS [SMILE]"
Passengers all but gave me a standing ovation, but guess what the Mom said to her boy?
"MAX, SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CHILDREN,
SO THEY WANT YOU TO 'SHUT UP'!"
!!!!!!
I couldn't believe it! She was making the train a complete nightmare for everyone around her, giving her kids not an ounce of discipline, spun from respect for others, while she read a book, and then blamed it on the 8-months-pregnant woman who apparently "doesn't like children".
!!!!!!
I was going to clarify that I indeed love children, but just that her kids were all not talking loudly, not yelling, but SCREAMING, and that many of us come 10pm were trying to get some shut eye... but I left it at that.
I didn't need to justify myself.
I just needed to remember that moment, because surely some day in my future my kids will be going crazy in public and I'll want to just escape and let them be someone else's problem for a minute (or 6 hours as the ride was) and the easiest thing to do would be to tone them out, ignore them, and hope they're not bothering anyone...
But the fact is, 50-odd people were bothered, and her kiddos are her responsibility. Her blessing. Her opportunity to teach them love and respect. Her little people to shape. Her kids to pack toys and books for and not to tell them that passengers "hate kids" and want them to "shut up".
Must. Remember. This. Moment.
wow! Your response to the lady and this blog post is the most gracious thing I've heard today! I don't think you will eat your words because although you will have bad days I'm sure and want to escape I think you've probably got some experience in putting others before yourself that will help you "make it" and not end up like train lady. I think because a) you know Jesus and have the H.S and b) you're married and are learning daily how to put someone else's needs before your own-you will never get to that extreme. That lady is just hurting her future self. She will be disappointed in her child and not realize that she produced his behaviour.. then they will have a disfunctional relationship and both will be hardened by their own point of view that the other has wronged them. I get very heated in "public parenting" discussions.
ReplyDeletehahah woah suz, you do feel strongly about this! it drives me nuts too... maybe because my parents were pretty strict and did a lot of "tough love" and I ended up appreciating it? Either way, it drives me nuts when parents let their kids do whatever they want, wherever ther are!
ReplyDeletebahaha I burst out laughing in Starbucks here in Abby reading this post & had to share it with Caryn. Too funny. "Some people don't like children." It's just so outrageous. props for not punching her in the face and blaming it on your hormones!
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