little update on the whole trying thing.

In short: It's not working.

In long: We're still not pregnant, and I'm struggling with why and how and what.
With my first two children I was pregnant the first time we tried. Yes, I was 23 and 24 and that's crazy young and wildly fertile, but I'm still just 26. So age is obviously not a factor. Stress very well could be, and seems to be the main suggestion everyone has. We have a lot going on right now, and the added deep down desire to BE pregnant makes trying a bit stressful. And there's the mechanics - everything is probably working fine since we've conceived twice before (right?).

One friend has a suggestion that I hadn't thought of and kind of love/hate. Maybe we're trying on the wrong day(s)? Wouldn't that be funny and awful at the same time? How frustrating! But also, what a relief and easy solution. I don't take my basal body temperature or do anything like that. I was just keeping close track of my periods and from that figuring out the length of my cycle, and thus noting the likely days for ovulation. But I could be wrong. Not on the days of my period - I can count up to 30 uhthankyou. But on the days that I'm ovulating. And with everything we have going on right now let's just say we're not "trying" every single day of the month. Ahem.

So maybe we're trying on the wrong days and most likely we're stressing out far too much over it. Yes, we deeply desire a third baby. With every passing day I want one more. The logistics are making it harder for me to be patient - Oli is getting older and the gap between him and baby #3 are set to be almost 2 years if we get pregnant THIS month, and that was kind of the maximum I wanted between kids, not to mention life with my two is getting easier. Lily will be starting partial daycare a few days a week soon and I'll have the time to bond more with Oli and rest more if I were pregnant. How ideal, right? Yet, I'm not.

I think this month and here after we're going to "try more frequently" and try to relax. Knowing the days we assume I'm ovulating has made is worse and more stressful, I think. The days are full of anxiety and the days after are full of stress and hope and frustration knowing we can't do anything but wait until I get my period (or don't, fingers always crossed for don't).

And I'm so sick of reading into the symptoms! I know I wrote about it already, but I can't ignore them. Being more aware of my body means I'm hypersensitive to any change or feeling and I essentially always think I'm pregnant, making the discovery that I'm not more painful each month.

So, more attempts, less stress, no more charting days, just having fun. Worth a try :)