prego stats - 21 weeks

How far along: 21 weeks, AKA OVER THE HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Total weight gain: not 100% sure, probably 10 lbs? I've read + been told that for my body mass index + height my weight gain should be just as it should, so I'm glad for that. For those interested, it tends to average 5lbs in the 1st trimester, and then 1 lb every week thereafter. Resulting in approximately 25-35lbs gained total. This has generally been the way things have gone for me, and then it takes about the same amount of time to loose the weight (9 months). Don't we all wish it took ONE? But that's another post for another day :)

How big is baby: length of a carrot. anyone else find these slightly unhelpful? What kind of carrot? In my fridge right now we have carrots of various sizes. I want more details!

Maternity Clothes: A lot of my shorts from last summer fit right now (not maternity) because last summer I was still losing weight from my pregnancy with Oli. When I finally lost all the weight (approximately 12 months after his birth) the shorts were too large, but now that I'm 21 weeks, they're perfect. I also find pants/shorts can fit if they're low rise since my bump hasn't dropped yet. But shirts are mostly all maternity now since I need the extra length.

Sleep: my body and baby3 may be allowing me sleep (thank goodness!) but my older two kids haven't been lately :( Oli has been waking EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for over a month, between 10pm and 1am, and normally for up to an hour. Not fun. 

Best moment this week: The kids regularly take turns kissing, "hugging", and cuddling their little sister (aka the bump) which is the sweetest! And I found a darling little dress, brand new (tags still on!) in light blue/chambray for Little Sister for $2 at Salvation Army this week and it got me verrrrry excited for another girl!

Movement: yes, but very low! And much more subtle than the other two were at 21 weeks, but again, probably because she's so low. It's hard for others to feel her movements because of her placement but I feel a lot internally.

Food cravings:My sweet tooth is BACK. I'm sorry to my dentist.

Food aversions:Not much lately, though I've been opting for more vegetarian meals lately.

Gender: GIRL! 

Labor signs: n/a

Belly button in or out: like always in pregnancy, out. And Public Service Announcement: it's NOT FUN when anyone (including my husband) pokes the protruding belly button. It actually hurts and you might be surprised how many people do it. They think it's cute and funny but it's very stretched skin and painful.

What I miss: sleep, but I can't blame pregnancy on that right now (cough Oli cough).

What I'm not loving: at the end of the day my lower body aches a bit, and in the morning my feet get painful cramps, but they go away quickly.

What I’m looking forward to: 2 weeks without the kiddos!!! Brad and I are headed on our first kids-free trip and it is coming at THE BEST TIME. We need this bad.

What I'm loving: Being pregnant, seeing the kids engage with the pregnancy, warm weather :)

Milestone(s):?

a little sister

We found out today that Lily and Oli will have a baby sister come September and we are SO THANKFUL. She's measuring right on target and 100% healthy so far. Jesus, you give good gifts and lavish us with your grace. And a GIRL! Oh... my heart was hoping :)

illustration by Slovly, and such a ringer for Lily + her baby sister :)

dreaming of all BOYS.

my heart is a funny thing. or place. or whatever.

I have always been the girl who wanted girls. You've read all about it by now :) After Lily I felt a huge relief knowing at least I had one girl. If the rest were ALL boys, that would be OK. But then when I found out Oli was a boy, it was hard for the first few moments because I did want that ALL girls family that I grew up in and loved.

But God had different plans, and I'm so glad. I adore being a mom of a little boy. Adore it hard. And recently I've been thinking about how wonderful it would be if baby #3 PLUS any future kiddos we might adopt some day were ALL BOYS. I love the idea of wrestling around with them. I love the idea of teaching them to be men who respect women. I love the idea that the boys I raise will one day lead families. There's something special about boys.

Don't get me wrong, I love being the mom of a daughter. I'm not writing this to say I'd prefer boys or that one is better than the other. I'm just writing this because for so so so long, my heart has been so stuck on mothering GIRLS. And now it's changing and I love that it is. I just love being a mama, which isn't easy to say after a day like we had over here, but it's still true.

We'll find out April 30th, either way :)

on why we're not choosing the gender...

As long as I can remember, I've wanted to be the mother of girls.

I was from a family of all girls and I'm a girls girl to the core. 

My husband, on the other hand is the exact opposite. 

The eldest of three boys, no sisters. Guys guy, wanted boys. 

So weren't we a happy pair of expectant parents? 

Conflicted, yes. But thankful that God would ultimately decide and his decision would be good.

So I wanted a girl, but throughout my whole pregnancy people said I looked like I was carrying a boy. Like, all people. I was never told, even once, that I looked like I was carrying a girl. 

And you know what? The idea grew on me a heck of a lot. 

I started hanging around my friends then 4 year-old son and getting attached. 

The mama who always wanted a daughter was starting to REALLY want a son. 

I was certain, like everyone else that my first would be a boy, and my heart caught up to the idea and I even wanted my first to be a boy.

Then at my 20 week ultrasound,
we heard the three beautiful words: 

it's a girl!

It took my heart and head a second to register that my first would not be Oli (the name we'd chosen if it were a boy) but Lily instead! Immediately the ideas and excitement about a son disappeared and I was thrilled to be on the pink team. 

I thought I knew what I was having and what I wanted, and I was wrong.

Fast forward to my second pregnancy. Our first few months with Lily had been glorious. We absolutely LOVED having a daughter. Both Brad and I were secretly hoping our second would also be a girl. Since we're frugal, it meant we'd have everything already! And since our experience with Lily had been bliss, it meant more of the same (a pregnant mom can hope, right?)! 

I was convinced that I was having another daughter. 

I pictured Lily with a sister, I pictured them being best friends like me and my sister Lisa were (and are!). 

Then at my 20 week ultrasound,
we heard the three beautiful words:

it's a boy!

I was in shock. Slightly disappointed, I'm embarrassed to admit. 

But then a few minuted later (and much more as the days and weeks passed), my heart rejoiced. A son. A boy. The Lord has entrusted me with another child and now we have our Oli! 

I thought I knew what I was having and what I wanted, and I was wrong.

Now I have two lovely children, both of whom I thought I wanted to be the opposite gender they are, and both of whom I'm thrilled are exactly who they are. 

And we're adopting...

With the dangerous (for us) ability to pick the gender of our next children.

If I had of chosen for Lily I would have chosen BOY

If I had of chosen for Oli I would have chosen GIRL

I'm so glad I didn't get to pick, and that God's will was done so beautifully in our family.

So with the option to choose the gender for the child(ren)we're adopting, I just don't trust myself. 

I don't know God's will for us, and I have learned from two experiences that what I wanted was not what he wanted, and what he wanted was best.

I'll be honest, the idea of 1 girl and 3 boys seems slightly overwhelming to me, but if God has two boys who need a Mommy & Daddy (and a brother & sister!) and decides they're for us, we'll happily welcome them. So we'll see. It's not in our hands. We're choosing to have no preference with gender, but to prefer wholly, God's plans for us, that we do not yet see.

little women.... {yikes}

I read this article in the New York Times and it really startled me. It's an interesting and really uncomfortable read for moms with daughters, but probably good to check out. 

The gist is that girls are entering puberty as early as KINDERGARTEN.

And one of the largest contributing factors is stress in the home (defined as absent fathers, present step-fathers, adoption and integration issues, etc).

Here's an excerpt:

Family stress can disrupt puberty timing as well. Girls who from an early age grow up in homes without their biological fathers are twice as likely to go into puberty younger as girls who grow up with both parents. Some studies show that the presence of a stepfather in the house also correlates with early puberty. Evidence links maternal depression with developing early. Children adopted from poorer countries who have experienced significant early-childhood stress are also at greater risk for early puberty once they’re ensconced in Western families.

Things it's reminded me of:

1. Childhood traumas (even from such a young age) have such a impact on children down the line.
2. There will be damage that we will never be able to un-do 
3. The family unit, when thriving, does so much to bless a child or children. Far beyond what I'd imagined, even to the physical development of a person. Wow.
4. I need to be praying for our future child(ren) in specific ways. Thinking right now if we adopt a daughter, how she may be impacted and how I can be praying...

more names rejected...

Since our boy name is already chosen (and left over from when we didn't know if Lily were to be a girl or boy), the real trouble for us has been finding a girl name. Here's a short list of names I'd love to use that my hubby has rejected:

1. Penny
2. Penelope
3. Zoe (fair enough, his mom had a pet named Zoe so I get it...)
4. Chloe (can you tell I have a thing for names that end in the sound "ee"?)
5. Beatrice (B or Bia for short)
6. Camille
7. Isla
8. Mai (pronounced "May" but spelled the French way)

There are a couple others I didn't list because he hasn't said no yet... so I'm holding out hope! And only one name we both like, but haven't agreed is "the one" yet...

This is hard work!!

1st party for MM!

Yesterday some of my Montreal girlfriends hosted a surprise baby shower for me and MM! It's only fitting that these fabulous women were there to usher in an undoubtedly fabulous woman of the future, MM, herself!

Some highlights:

Rachel made an owl banner to welcome the baby and bought is 'Rockabye Baby' Radiohead lullaby's for kids CD. It's amazing, they take your favourite bands (a gift for the parents indeed!) and turn their songs into baby friendly relaxing songs sounding a bit like the lullaby's they listen to anyway! But you won't be singing "twinkle twinkle little star" when you hear it! Check it out here
Jess bought MM the changing table top thing we registered for since we won't be getting a change table, but will just plop it on her dresser. LOVE the practicality and how it'll save us a ton of space!

Nikita got MM her first pair of cloth diapers! You buy about 12-15 to start with and add more if need be. But you buy them individually, so now we've gotten started. I'm so happy she appreciated both the cloth diapers and that the company is based in Montreal as much as me :)

Jamie got MM an amazing diaper cake for the first month when we're abandoning our convictions and using disposable diapers (I've heard 10 diaper changes a day... eeek!) and inside put my favourite Bath and Body Works lotion (for me!), diaper cream, and some baby lotion/bubble bath, plus she hosted the amazing shower and planned so many fun games!

Amanda and Andrea both got MM some A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E clothes from Zara and Old Navy! The first "real clothes" MM has, since she has a lot of onsies and pjs but until now no dresses or pants. The squeals in the room were inhuman when we saw how cute they were!

Also, everyone got a favour for coming, Amanda's homemade granola in a jar with fabric that matches MM's future bedroom (and I got to keep the extra 2 yards of fabric, score!)

Surly many more great parties with 'the girls'
(yes, this can soon include my daughter!!) are to come :)
thank-you!

for my little girl!!!

OK it is FAR too fun looking for and shopping for GIRLS STUFF.
I think I'd be happy if I just bought things for HER the rest of my life and never for myself...
OK wild dramatization, but it is so much MORE fun knowing it's for her than for myself.

Maybe I have more insight to my mom's life now.
She rarely bought herself anything new when we were growing up, but would treat us often.
Not that she was decked in 80's gear come the 90's, she was a stylin' mom, but she made personal sacrifices for me and Lisa instead of treating herself first. Come to think of it, in every arena of life my mom put us and my dad, basically our family first. Gosh... I'm only appreciating NOW (23 years after it all began) what a GREAT MOM I have.

Now, onto things I've already found that I must get for MMe (yes, it's a GIRL so since we're in French-land, now this means there must be an 'e' at the end :)

1. A Slip Cover for her BabyBjorn Carrier
   (we're getting black so we can reuse it with any future boy babies just as easily, but I found these adorable slipcovers for BabyBjorns for $25 on ebay.com (unfortunately for me, not ebay.ca).
   
   
2. Shoes from the Etsy Shop, Gracious May
   I posted about these back in January. They.are.adorable. The question is, what pair will I buy her? They're not cheap, but I think she needs just one pair :)
   
   

MM is a...

GIRL!
sooooooo many of us were wrong :)
we are THRILLED!
~
not putting it on facebook until later tonight,
I figured my loyal readers should get first dibs!