1st party for MM!

Yesterday some of my Montreal girlfriends hosted a surprise baby shower for me and MM! It's only fitting that these fabulous women were there to usher in an undoubtedly fabulous woman of the future, MM, herself!

Some highlights:

Rachel made an owl banner to welcome the baby and bought is 'Rockabye Baby' Radiohead lullaby's for kids CD. It's amazing, they take your favourite bands (a gift for the parents indeed!) and turn their songs into baby friendly relaxing songs sounding a bit like the lullaby's they listen to anyway! But you won't be singing "twinkle twinkle little star" when you hear it! Check it out here
Jess bought MM the changing table top thing we registered for since we won't be getting a change table, but will just plop it on her dresser. LOVE the practicality and how it'll save us a ton of space!

Nikita got MM her first pair of cloth diapers! You buy about 12-15 to start with and add more if need be. But you buy them individually, so now we've gotten started. I'm so happy she appreciated both the cloth diapers and that the company is based in Montreal as much as me :)

Jamie got MM an amazing diaper cake for the first month when we're abandoning our convictions and using disposable diapers (I've heard 10 diaper changes a day... eeek!) and inside put my favourite Bath and Body Works lotion (for me!), diaper cream, and some baby lotion/bubble bath, plus she hosted the amazing shower and planned so many fun games!

Amanda and Andrea both got MM some A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E clothes from Zara and Old Navy! The first "real clothes" MM has, since she has a lot of onsies and pjs but until now no dresses or pants. The squeals in the room were inhuman when we saw how cute they were!

Also, everyone got a favour for coming, Amanda's homemade granola in a jar with fabric that matches MM's future bedroom (and I got to keep the extra 2 yards of fabric, score!)

Surly many more great parties with 'the girls'
(yes, this can soon include my daughter!!) are to come :)
thank-you!

a heavenly afternoon

Today I finished work by 3pm since I am again working tonight
from 7:30 - ?

In the hours between the two I went to heaven.

HEAVEN.

I stopped by Loni's since we haven't seen each other in way too long just one-on-one (and by that I always mean Loni + Matty + Dahlia + Olivia on one which is even better) and finally we both had the same time free. SO NICE. Just to hang out. Seriously. We did nothing.

HEAVEN.

Loni is a really chill woman (even with 3 kids aged 4 and under) and she relaxes me. We sat in her box-covered house (they're moving on Monday) and just chatted. But one of the best parts were her kids. I think she would take this as a compliment not an insult :)

When I first touched down in Montreal as Brad's "special friend" I would stay with Andy and Loni on those weekend visits. I'm pretty sure her kids (Matthew and Dahlia at that time) hated me. They were shy and I was a new face and only ever popped in and out. Well when I moved here I made it my mission to get them to like me.

Folks, it WORKED.

Today I sat in a chair just chatting with Loni while 4-year-old Matthew just cuddled in with me and talked to me. We laughed about silly things like Olivia's big diaper bum and Simile (hot like a fire! he learned and then got really good at it "hot like a jungle!"). I'd sat sitting on that chair, with a good friend and a cuddly little boy might have made the top of the charts for my week. Only to get better when Dahlia woke up from her name and asked for a story at the same time Loni had to help Andy with something. So I had baby Olivia balancing on one leg, Matty curled around my neck like a scarf, and Dahlia sitting on the arm of the chair while I read Berenstain Bears.

HEAVEN. I love those kiddos as if they were my own family, it makes me just completely awe-struck and a little terrified about how much I'll love my OWN kids some day :)

In addition, we all went over to Jamie's for a tea party so Matty could play with James and us girls could hang out. More Bliss. I LOVE JAMIE. She will help me so much when I have a babe, she's a wealth of knowledge and quite possibly could teach Early Childhood Education without having taken it herself.

So often I get down on living way out here in Quebec away from so many friends and family in Ontario, but God has really blessed me. I feel like I have BOTH here as I lay down new roots in Montreal. A heavenly afternoon indeed...

(kind of looks like Matty is plugging his ears to my story but I think he was just resting, it was by far the most affectionate and loving time I've ever spent with him :)

Go Ahead And Ban Me From Motherhood

Yeah... this hopefully isn't a bad sign of my actually relations with my own future child... but I am not a baby person *hangs head in shame*.

Is this a horrible thing?

I talked to my friend Hailey the other week about this. She has a lovely little girl named Stella. Hailey is not a baby person either. Phew! Community for the wretched! She said it was something she was quasi-ashamed about too. I mean, what pregnant woman isn't a baby person? I guess me! And Hailey (thank goodness).

Case in point: today on the metro there were TWO brand new babies in carriages with their respective mothers. Everyone around them were cooing and smiling, and I was avoiding eye contact. I don't really care about other people's babies. I mean, some more than others. I love playing with Andy and Loni's baby girl Olivia. But I'm happier to hang out with their 2 and 4-year-olds and play and wrestle and hug the heck out of them. Gosh... I feel like I'm confessing alcoholism. The guilt! The shame! The FREEDOM!

I am not a baby person.

I do not thing most babies are cute.

I do not look at albums of babies on facebook (normally). I look at mama's growing belly albums, baby's nursery albums, and albums of kids, but not babies. Wait a second, aren't I about to like...have one? Yeah, I know. SCAREY.

I do firmly believe things will be different with my OWN baby. I mean, I already love it and it's just a heart beat and cause for nausea. I pray for my baby all the time, and not just for his/her health and development, things wayyy down the road. Like their faith, their friends, their future spouses. I am in love with this baby in my belly. So why not other babies?

Jamie is a baby person. She CRAVES babies. To cuddle a new born is like a high for her. It's one of her favourite stages of a person's life. I'm so lucky to have her around, please O please rub off on me Jamie!! Jess, again, LOVES babies. Every time we're together with a new born baby (every time we're at the Smits house basically), you know where to find her. Baby in arm, sitting somewhere, in love. Where am I? Other room, possibly Hug-Attacking with Matty (something we had to bring in once I got pregnant and could no longer tickle-attack with him which always resulted in flailing punches to my belly).

I, on the other hand love KIDS. I think they're so fun and they "say the darndst things" and they love you in such a real, pure way, and they make me laugh, and they can hug back, and they ask such great questions, and ahhh... I could go on forever. As I type this I'm thinking of my best boy, Matty. I love Matty. I want me own Matty... I know how to deal with Matty's. I think babies on the other hand, scare me. They're unpredictable, they can't explain themselves, they can't ask me for anything (I just have to KNOW)...

Anyway, again, I've been told many times that non-baby-people become baby-people with their own babies. And I can see glimpses of that already with the love I have for our baby. Just a confession that I think needed to be made.

boys and girls

Most of you know that I'm a girl's girl. My hobbies include shopping and baking and I have never even thought about the reality that I could be the mom of boys, or even all boys.

I think it all began when my parents didn't have sons. And then my aunts and uncles closest to us didn't either. It was a girl's party. My cousins Maggie, Sarah, and Alysha were the extended family we spent the most time with, leaving zero room for boys to enter the brain. Then there were my dolls/barbies/imaginary friends: ALL GIRLS. Noticing a trend here? Not to mention I've never been the girl who's best buddies with guys... All my closest friends throughout the years have been Caily's, Tess's, Missy's, Catherine's, and Jamie's... GIRLS.

Naturally this is could all change in 6 weeks and I think it's just hitting me recently. Of course Brad is probably the most comfortable with boys since he has only brothers and I'll be thrilled no matter what the sex is, but part of me is a bit nervous of the potential of having a boy, or down the road, all boys. Can I swing it? I'm no hockey mom and I don't really "get" boys. But who knows?

At church I taught Sunday school today and there are two boys (brothers) who I adore. Miguel and Manuel. I thought to myself today: if my kids are like these, I could do boys! Often I get epiphanies like this, you know seeing the great things that boys bring to the table that girls can't, or thinking about how great it would be to "gain a daughter instead of lose a son" as they say in marriage, or the possibility for my future daughters having an older brother always looking out for them. I never had that and always was slightly jealous of those who did.

So we'll see. My 20 week ultra sound where I get to know the sex is in 6 weeks. I'll keep you all posted, and in the meantime, any advice on boys is welcome!

getting excited

Recently I've been frustrated with feeling ill and not seeing any strong "results" of my symptoms (i.e. not a huge baby bump that people can recognize). It also has just seemed like FOREVER since I took that positive pregnancy test way back in 2009 (just saying '09 makes it seem even more long ago!)

Either way, I was loosing sight of what's actually happening inside of me. Growing a baby and all. So I took some great advice from Jamie and started getting excited about the baby to be born in August. And sure enough even little things like looking for cribs on craigslist, deciding what baby things (i.e. strollers) we want, and talking about middle names (we've decided our girl first names for the next TWO girls, but boys are still hard, for first or middle names) has got my moods much higher :)

It's getting more real to me as we went public with the pregnancy last week, plus the 13 week mark is tomorrow and I am starting to actually FEEL pregnant (and not just sick). I think part of not getting too excited was a defense mechanism in case anything horrible were to happen, but I'm deciding each day now to be thrilled and anticipatory about this and not worry about what will probably never happen.

COME mini morrice!!!

people i miss.

lately as you know, I've been functioning at a highly REDUCED pace of life. Apart from work and sleep, I do next to nothing. When with work, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. The other day I had a full day on campus (not unusual but hard these days) and had 2 naps in the process. If I had a spare hour in between appointments, I would race in time for a 30 minute nap before heading back. I would normally see this as a waste of time and not worth the effort, but I'm THAT tired. And falling asleep on the metro is both scary and embarrassing - and I've done that twice.

I often say to Brad, "I miss being ME". He's been gracious to assure me that he loves me and that it's just a season and blah blah blah, but the reality is, I want to pick up the phone and call Missy and Catherine and just talk for hours. I want to meet Rachel for an early breakfast before 9am at Quoi De Neuf (when it's half price and just as glorious!). I want to hang out with Jamie for longer than an hour in the evenings, also meaning I want my bedtime to stretch later than 9pm. I want to have tea with Lydia and Jess again. I want to take Loni's kids swimming at the local pool and teach them how to swim like I was doing pre-prego, but that requires a level of energy that just doesn't exist right now. Ahhh... I am falling more in love with my baby every day, but I do miss my friends.

I keep being told that the energy levels will increase in the 2nd trimester, and I really hope it's true. The nausea is subsiding a bit so maybe it's a sign that the fatigue will too. Compared to many of my friends, my pregnancy hasn't been that difficult, it just seems like it I guess because most of my friends are able-bodied 23 year-olds who act like 23-year-olds... staying up late, meeting friends, having fun. I guess I just want to be ME again, but maybe the new me is more tired and I just have to figure out how to make that work with my relationships.

Then I remember, if the worst I'm feeling it tired and a bit nauseous to experience the joy and miracle of having a baby and starting a family - it's so worth it. It is. I just have forgotten that a few times lately and I need to remember it :)

warning future baby: I know NOTHING

Loni, my dear friend and mentor in Montreal is due with her 3rd baby in 4 years any day now. She's actually like a ticking time bomb, but a beautiful one with gorgeous lean limbs and a basketball belly out to there.

Last night, Brad and I joined Jamie and James and Andy and Loni for a great dinner, movie (us girls watched Julie and Julia: by far the best Christmas present I received and movie I've seen in 2009) and game (the guys played some boring strategic-takes-2-hours-to-play game). Well, when Jamie (a complete nurturing natural and baby fanatic), me (trying to be a baby mama), and Loni (bursting prego and current mom of 2) get together the topic always veers in one direction: babies.

I'm pretty up on my pregnancy knowledge since we had a few near-baby-experiences in the early days of our marriage (and I say days literally, one scare was like 30 days in... Thank goodness it was just a late period!!) and since we began seriously considering starting a family this September. I've read other blogs like Vanessa's that took me through the week-by-week of her journey while pregs with both of her boys. I've watched the reality shows. I've read some articles. I've done a lot in terms of prepping myself for pregnancy.

Now, disclaimer: I have these resources (sites, friends, moms, etc) so they can be on-goingly informative when the pregnancy is over, so it won't be like I'm a total newb, but my conclusion from the conversation last night was this:

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BABIES.

PREGNANCY? YES. HEAPS. BABIES? ZERO.

warning lights/bells/whistles ensue! Every question I posed to Loni was answered not even by her but by my baby-less dear friend Jamie. Nursing, feeding times, progression, stages of a baby's life... How does she knows all of this?? Was Jamie a co-author to the famous "What To Expect in the First year" or something?
I wanted to wring Loni and Jamie out like a wet towel and drink up all of the dripped knowledge so I wouldn't be a complete idiot when my baby was born, Lord willing, and I was left to raise it.

Not to mention Loni was spouting off claims like "you'll just know when your baby needs to be fed in the middle of the night even if they don't cry" WHAT?! I sleep like a rock, and rumor has it, you're a tired wreck when you have a baby. I'll just know? HOW?! I know NOTHING. How will I just guess when the baby is hungry? Shocked and scared I just shook my head vowing to set an alarm for every 2 hours of the day. Oh yeah that was another one. Every 2 hours they feed. I had heard 3 somewhere in a blissful lie of an article. 2 hours. AH! So much to learn, Emily, so much.

So this is my confession. I probably know more than I should about pregnancy. But I know less than the average non-mom about babies.

In the trail of my addictions...

Lately I'm hooked on candles. I blame Jamie, who needs one burning to survive. She especially introduced me to the scented jar candles that we found for $5 at Zellers, but their much-longer-burning-higher-class counterparts are from Yankee Candle. Either way, I'm burning them often and ending up with unburned wax and empty jars galore.

Enter the creation of scented wax tarts and more storage for my kitchen!

The wax melts really evenly, I use muffin tins but would use mini muffin tins if I had them. Make sure you don't put too much wax in each because the wax may melt over once you put it in the tea-light holder. Those were form Dollarama for $1 by the way.

So just put them in the oven at 150 or 200 for 10 minutes or so and let them harden afterward for at least an hour or pop them in the freezer and voila!