lately as you know, I've been functioning at a highly REDUCED pace of life. Apart from work and sleep, I do next to nothing. When with work, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. The other day I had a full day on campus (not unusual but hard these days) and had 2 naps in the process. If I had a spare hour in between appointments, I would race in time for a 30 minute nap before heading back. I would normally see this as a waste of time and not worth the effort, but I'm THAT tired. And falling asleep on the metro is both scary and embarrassing - and I've done that twice.
I often say to Brad, "I miss being ME". He's been gracious to assure me that he loves me and that it's just a season and blah blah blah, but the reality is, I want to pick up the phone and call Missy and Catherine and just talk for hours. I want to meet Rachel for an early breakfast before 9am at Quoi De Neuf (when it's half price and just as glorious!). I want to hang out with Jamie for longer than an hour in the evenings, also meaning I want my bedtime to stretch later than 9pm. I want to have tea with Lydia and Jess again. I want to take Loni's kids swimming at the local pool and teach them how to swim like I was doing pre-prego, but that requires a level of energy that just doesn't exist right now. Ahhh... I am falling more in love with my baby every day, but I do miss my friends.
I keep being told that the energy levels will increase in the 2nd trimester, and I really hope it's true. The nausea is subsiding a bit so maybe it's a sign that the fatigue will too. Compared to many of my friends, my pregnancy hasn't been that difficult, it just seems like it I guess because most of my friends are able-bodied 23 year-olds who act like 23-year-olds... staying up late, meeting friends, having fun. I guess I just want to be ME again, but maybe the new me is more tired and I just have to figure out how to make that work with my relationships.
Then I remember, if the worst I'm feeling it tired and a bit nauseous to experience the joy and miracle of having a baby and starting a family - it's so worth it. It is. I just have forgotten that a few times lately and I need to remember it :)