Banque Mixte Adoption legalities:

taken from this website

Families that agree to have children placed in their homes from the Banque Mixte must realize and be prepared for a lengthy period of time before that child may become judicially legal to be adopted.

Since 1988, statistics have shown that roughly only 4% of the children in the program have been reunited with their biological families. So, chances are very high that these children can be adopted, but the wait can still be stressful for everyone.

In the best interests of children, it's been determined that a placement for children ages 0 to 2 years be made within a year. Children ages two to five years old must have a placement within 18 months and for children ages 6 and older, a placement within two years.

That information is really comforting to us. One difference between International and Provincial adoption is that the birth parents are still around (in some cases). Furthermore, the birth parents in banque mixte adoption are different from a regular adoption in Canada in that regular adoption has the birth parents giving consent to the adoption and banque mixte adoption has the children already separated from their birth parents.

The hard part about regular adoption is that the birth parents have 30 days to change their minds. This is usually the route for those wanting to adopt a baby, and would be very challenging. The hard part about banque mixte adoption is that the birth parents have had their children taken away from them, usually for neglect or abuse. It's very unlikely (4%) that a banque mixte adoption won't "go through" but there are obviously other challenges such as dealing with past neglect or abuse.

adoption in Quebec

We've decided to start the LONG research phase of our dream to one day adopt. Knowing how long the process will be once we officially begin, the goal is to start by the end of 2012. But right now we're mainly researching our hearts out and praying a lot. What does God have for us? What is his will for our family? Will we adopt? One or two kids? What age(s)? Local or International? Regular or Bank Mixte?

This is what we know so far:

In QC, the two local forms are regular and bank mixte. 

Regular is the adoption of a newborn or infant who is born in Quebec. Because abortion is so high here (the highest rate in North America, sadly), there are very few babies available through regular adoption (read: right from the hospital, Juno style). The wait to adopt a healthy Caucasian newborn is 4-8 years. Now, we don't desire to adopt a newborn or have any preference to race, but it's still a long time.

Bank Mixte is the adoption of a child who has been apprehended from an abusive family. This is less appealing to many because the child has "baggage" in the majority of cases. Children in Bank Mixte may have been physically or sexually abused or have health problems.  The wait time is considerably less (a week weeks- 24 months), especially if you're open minded about age, race, and health. The child starts off as your foster child until they are eligible for adoptability (if their birth parents have proven unfit for a period of 6 months or more), and once that occurs in 6 months or less the adoption can be finalized. 96% of Bank Mixte adoptions have come to this point, and only 4% of children don't end up with their adoptive parents, but the risk is still there - you can have a child who is, for all intents and purposes, yours, and they may not remain so.

Both forms of local adoption begin at the local Centre Youth, where you register for one of the adoptive programs (Regular or Mixte). I'm still not sure if you can register for both.

There are also two forms of international adoption - from other countries (there are 12 countries a Quebecer can adopt from), and from other provinces (like Ontario), but I'm not sure we'd go that route.

So now we pray. And pray and pray and pray.

Resources:

http://www.adoptiveparents.ca/pq_main.shtml

http://www.adoption.gouv.qc.ca/site/home.phtml

http://www.educaloi.qc.ca/en/loi/parents/154/

dear LG

When you're old enough to get a job, your first pay cheque will go towards buying you and I Habs tickets.

Just so you know :)

Yes, my husband just told me of a friend who has season's tickets and had a pre-season game to spare. Of course Brad being the selfless man he is offered it to me first. Knowing the state of my body/pregnancy/pain level I knew I had to decline. I think the declining hurt more than the lower abdominal pressure!

#sacrifices

AT LAST

The medical office I was recommended to use for my time here as a prego in Louisville was called Advocates for Women. And for the last three and a half weeks, that name seemed quite contradictory. I've been trying to be seen by one of their doctors and have an ultrasound but the paperwork was endless. Not helped by my lack of fax or phone. And once they got my records from my doctor in Montreal, they didn't want to take me on for just one visit, because it was too great a liability. But after e-mailing back and forth with the correspondent there, and getting nowhere, I decided today that enough was enough. I packed up Lily and drove to their office to speak to someone in person. Phone would have sufficed, but we don't have one yet. And what a difference it made!

I finally found my advocate in a blessed woman named Krista.

When I explained my situation - that I was only here for 9 weeks and I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant today, and that I needed my 20 week ultrasound, and that in Canada, if I didn't get it between 19-22 weeks, I'd have to wait until the final 32 week ultrasound, and that I didn't know where else to go for my predicament, oh that's when things got good. Krista left the room to be my advocate to the doctor who said I was too great a liability, only to return in a few seconds with a beaming smile on her face. "He'll do it!" she said, as if it were a personal victory for her and she was as relieved as I was.

God, thank you for answering my prayers today, in the very person of Krista. Everything I asked you to do, you did, through this woman.

My ultrasound, appointment, and when I'll find out the sex of Lily's sibling are TOMORROW @ 2pm. Tomorrow! I am so thankful and relieved. Tomorrow, almost four weeks of frustration will pay off. Going down there was such a good decision. I didn't want to because it was hot, we don't have a car with AC, and I'd have to take Lily during her nap time, but all of those things seem worth it now. Tomorrow. 2pm. YES!

Oh, and this ultrasound and appointment will cost me a pretty $400 penny since I'm here in the States. Gulp. I know Our provincial insurance will cover it back home (Just for being Canadian, hello!), and if for some reason they don't, our insurance through work will, but I still have such a hard time swallowing that pill - $400 cash to see a doctor and find out the details about the health of your baby. The same procedure that in Canada is FREE in public health care, and only $75, should you choose to go to a private clinic. Definitely not idea or fair, but I'm thankful to have the appointment, and that God has provided for us, allowing us to front that beastly bill.

Tomorrow. 2pm. Can't wait! 

OMG

oh my gosh... where do I EVEN start?

Last night was our first prenatal class - yes we're extremely behind on that and had a good time seeing everyone's reactions when we were the "37.5 week's along couple" to the other "24, 25, 30 week parents".

But the good times were really only in making light of what a disaster the class was. I had a glimpse last night into what going to high school with my husband would have been like, and the truth is, I would have failed every class! We were doing everything in our power to not buckle over in roaring laughter in front of our less-than-prepared/aware/educated-teacher.

it.was.a.GONGSHOW.

Let me begin with out teacher. Whose credentials are that she WAS a nurse 15 years ago and did give birth twice, in the late 60's. Have times changed medically since then? naaaa, let's go with it. Groan. We had our hunches that she wasn't the most up to date on the current birthing process when she made comments like
"but honestly, people don't really get epidurals or they shouldn't ",
to a room of terrified, birthing-plan-ready, moms who had already made up their minds, or
"if they're kicking hard it's because they're a boy, boys are stronger than girls",
can you say Old School methodology?

But what really sold us on her inexpertise was the personal narrative of every labour stage. Instead of telling us medically and technically what is happening during this stage she just told us how SHE felt, 40 years ago.
Sentences like "you will be nervous but excited at this point, because I was" or "you probably will become introspective when you're 4cm dilated and not want to talk much to people around you, as I didn't" should never make their way into a professional, government-run hand-out to first-time parents to be, but oh there they were.

Aside from her lack of current medical knowledge, she was just plain rude, and it was HILARIOUS. She's one of those people that you find yourself saying often after she speaks "Oh No You Didn't..."
Yet it was so outrageous I don't think anyone was offended, just astonished.

Like when Brad and I walked in 1 minute EARLY but the class had already begun. There were no seats and she said "The class has begun, you may not find a seat". Um what does that mean? We signed up for this class and we're still early!?

Or the couple that came in AFTER us (God-forbid) that she didn't even greet or give hand outs to (they may have been 2 minutes late and were dressed in business clothing, clearly just coming right from work).

But my favourite was this poor single mom-to-be from LaSalle who our teacher decidedly hated from the get-go. When there would be a long pause and she would ask a question, our teacher would abruptly start talking over her and not let her ask until she rose her hand. Or when our teacher blatantly said "Because you're from LaSalle and not Verdun, you shouldn't be here. I wish you weren't because there are a lot of people in this class, but what can I do?"
She tried to explain that she lives on the boarder and it would take her 3 bus transfers to get to the LaSalle CLSC and only one straight bus to get to the Verdun CLSC which was met with more talking-over and a "yes but really you shouldn't be here" from our teacher.

Is she for real!?

Then she had us go around and say to the group that we've just met what all of our preferences for birth are (i.e. our birthing plan i.e. kind of personal). It was a hilarious time, where people were publically shamed for choosing the epidural or others made to seem cold-hearted for not having their moms in the room at the time of delivery. The good part being, everyone was in the same boat - hating it but getting a kick out of her audacity.

Lastly the video. OHHHHHH the video!
Aptly titled "Together in Love" and filmed no sooner than 1973, the film captured a couple whose marriage was clearly on the rocks having their first baby. It seemed more like a commercial for prenatal classes where we watched people doing what we should have been doing (i.e. learning breathing exercises), only decades prior. My favourite part was when the mom-to-be said "for the first time it felt like Paul and I were a team" to which someone in the class yelled "haven't they been married for 4 years? Paul's a dead beat!"

And so the class went on. A teacher who had no expertise and almost no English, with random materials in SPANISH of all languages, including a small Mexican statue of a woman birthing in the squatting position, her wielding her out-dated Quebecois cultural experience of birth on our unsuspecting class, and a video that was both terrifying (up close shots with little warning = scary!) and most certainly the same video our own parents watched in the 80's and laughed at for it's age and inappropriateness.

reason 3,486,230,498 why I love the body of Christ

I read this announcement in our church's weekly e-mail yesterday:

5. MEALS FOR THE PARENTS-TO-BE @GMC [from Melanie D'Almeida]
We are all excited and waiting with great anticipation the arrival of baby Zoellner (boy!) and baby Morrice (girl!). Melanie has taken the initiative to organize and prepare meals for a few days after Amy/Martin and Emily/Brad come home from the hospital with their new little bundles. It would just be a practical way to help out as they begin to get their feet back on the ground and adjust to being a new family of three. If you are interested in helping out, please contact Melanie D'Almeida

priority #2310629763

So my 2nd appointment with Dr. Hall was last Thursday. Still not understanding what Loni raved about... Shes pleasant enough, but really you can tell she wants to see me for no more than 5 minutes and basically doesn't care a whole lot about ME or MM whatsoever.

This is a typical appointment (Suzanne, Vanessa, tell me if this is normal, though probably not already in the fact that ya'll have midwives):

1. I go in, get weighed by the secretary (I've gained a full 5 pounds now since the advent of MM, woot!)

2. Secretary takes my blood pressure, and I go back to the waiting room (their magazine selection though is top notch... contemplating a subscription to Canadian House and Home or Canada's Style at Home)

3. I finally see Dr. Hall, she asks how I'm feeling

4. I get on the bed thingie, she check's MM's heartbeat (for all of 1 minute)

5. She measures my belly, mentions "your belly has grown"

6. She says "unless you have any questions, that's it" wherein I ask many questions and get extremely short and non-descriptive answers. (i.e. Q: is the heart beat good? A: yup. Q: what's normal for a baby's heartbeat? A: yours is normal)

7. I leave in all of 5 minutes. Nor necessarily having tons of questions unanswered, just feeling that shes giving me her bare minimum, she doesn't care much for the baby or me, and I'm #2310629763 on her priority list.

I think she operates on the "no news is good news" and "simple is better" policies. I just don't. ESPECIALLY when it's my first baby and I don't know what I'm doing. Remembering Suzanne's experiences hearing her baby's heartbeat, I'm jealous. Sooz knew the bmp of Baby Roz, she has INFORMATION to share on her blog and with her family about the baby's progress. FROM HER DOCTOR. My info comes from helpful pregnancy websites. Sheesh.

So yeah. I'm not impressed with Dr. Hall at all. She is nice, professional, if not cold, and rushes you out of her office the second you get in. And if I wanted a midwife (which I DID, trust me!) I couldn't give birth in a hospital - law in QC. I could give birth in a birthing centre for midwives only... but not a doctor or nurse in sight, and that's not my bag. But I hate how it's such polar opposites here. Why can't I give birth in a hospital WITH a midwife? Oh the glories I left behind in Ontario...

MM = a Hab's Fan?

Last night as had a great opportunity to go to a Habs game. Even though they lost it was SO GOOD! We live really close to the Bell Centre so we just walked over during the 1st period and hoped we could buy some tickets for a good price since it's impossible to get your hands on them otherwise.

Well we were 13 rows from the ice, amazing seats, retail price $106 for $45 a piece! So good, but the cutest was MM. I know babies can hear sound in the womb, so I'm guessing it's just the noise, but every time Montreal was on a breakaway and the crowd started getting load and cheering GO HABS GO, MM would begin to kick like mad! Plus seeing all the kids at the game in their jerseys made me so excited for our kids to cheer for the home team :)

just a pre-game belly shot (terrible quality I know, but Brad was busy so I had to take it myself, 18.5 weeks)

bilingual names

we are having a really hard time finding names we

a) both like

b) work in French (our kids will go to French school and live in QC so it's pretty important)

c)still work in English (all of the kids' family members are Anglophone and they'll still go to church and speak English at home)

ESPECIALLY for boy's names. Girls names tend to work easily in French and English because feminine sounds are often borrowed from French. Take Emily. Emilie, and just like that you have a French name. Or better yet, Amelie. But boys names are much harder. Most of the boys names I've mentioned liking we both agree could never work in French since they come from my Scottish background, and sound ridiculous when pronounced by anyone with a French or Quebecois accent (believe me, we've tried).

We have our names chosen for the first TWO girls we have (if we ever have girls!) but boys names, we haven't thought of any that we're both sold on. A lot of names that we like in French (i.e. Etienne) we don't like in English (Stephen). Or names we like in English (i.e. Luke) we don't like in French (Luc, pronounced "LOOK").

Sigh. I'm sure if we find out we are having a boy, 3 weeks from now, we'll start thinking more seriously and find something, but it's been a lost cause so far.

Suggestions welcome!!

ALL GOOD THINGS :)

Lately the gravy train has just been dumping it's goodness on me! I have posted about many of these things (hello cheap maternity clothes that are ADORABLE, finding a terrific pre-natal-massage-goddess, and feeling slightly better than last month!) but some are new even for you!

I posted bit ago on the side bar about some sermons I've been pondering and to be honest, when I first added them they were recommended to me but I hadn't yet listened to them. Perhaps not wise. Wouldn't have done that with a book or movie, but hey. But before I loose all credibility, I did listen to the one titled Women as Home Builders and can say I LOVE IT. I've always wanted to stay home with my babies and wanting 4, that will mean many years before they're all in school full-time! It could be because my mom stayed home with me until I was in school full-time and I loved those days. I can remember maybe 2 things from before the age of six, but one of them was peanut butter and banana sandwiches with mom in the afternoon. Just us. Bliss. Or it could be because even though I love my job, there's never been anything more appealing to me than being a mom (and some people will hear that and cringe. No judgment from me, but likewise, please don't judge). I don't know what the exact catalyst is or was, but the sermon appealed to me because it was a talk on women, especially those who stay home with their kids.

Great reminders were given: Being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean sitting in your pjs watching soaps all day while your kids eat hard Mr. Noodles from the package, utilizing the time you have with them to teach them and not just entertain them, etc.

Great cautions were given: How do I spend my free time right now? With a baby coming, and most of my current responsibilities (minus my job) staying in tact, is my current lifestyle sustainable? UM NO. Good good caution resulting in me decising to spend WAY less time online among other things.

and Great encouragements were given: You're not loosing significance because you're not going into an office every morning and you're not lazy because you're not working (if you do the whole "home builder" instead of the "home lounger" style of being a stay-at-home-mom). Ahhhh all things I needed to hear.

If this kind of thing appeals to you, do check out the link. Was one of the good things of my week, and there were many :)

Other things are:
1. I'm 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow and the symptoms are actually slowing (as promised by that illusive 3 month mark but hard to believe in the midst of puke and pity)! I'm tired like woah still, but the nausea is much more manageable and I haven't thrown up in over a week. Could it have been 2 weeks? GLORY.

2. My doctor's appointment with Dr. Hall was pushed up a week from March 2nd to February 23rd (yay!)

3. My Quebec health card has been renewed and I'm good to go under this kooky government (let me tell you, I feel like I've been jumping firey hoops since I got here) giving me heaps more assurance that if anything goes wrong (or my appointment gets pushed forward - hello!), I'm a recognized Quebecor with insurance to boot.

4. I'm going home February 23rd (after the appointment) for a couple days to hang out with my mom and dad and Caily who will be in the neighborhood, and it will be a pure love-fest with relaxing as the top priority (and there will be a jacuzzi that I am already excited about)

5. With this new commitment to avoiding idleness (thus spending less time online) I'm getting SO MUCH done! Even with sleeping way more (and we're talking several hours more each night) and having less energy, limiting my online time (because TV isn't so much of a big time waster for me - although it will be for the 2 weeks of the Olympics, but let's be honest, it's my civil duty to cheer on team Canada....it's not really an option), I've been able to keep the house tidy and clean, spend time reading the Bible each day, work longer house, and do dinners and not become overwhelmed with the every day (which was happening on a semi-regular basis with the pregnancy, work, home, etc). VICTORY.

The English Patient

I'm officially a patient at Saint Mary's Hospital in Montreal, QC!

It's such a relief to have that all finalized, after 3 grueling hours today, waiting in lines, being poked and prodded, throwing up in waiting rooms... you get the picture :)

I heard from Loni that her OBGYN was amazing, so I called her up and thankfully she can see me throughout my pregnancy... but not until MARCH 2! That's like 1.5 whole months from where we are right now. However, her intense secretary said that cancellations are common, so chances are I could see Dr. Hall in February or even January (if I'm really lucky!) but I'd have to get my preliminaries done ASAP since who knows, they could call me tomorrow and ask to see me Thursday ... a girl can dream right?

So Brad and I head to Dr. Hall's office this morning for 10am. Who would have known she was in a building of like a thousand other OBGYNs? We finally found her after a not so easy running through the halls reading names on doors and several elevator rides up and down ( read: setting the mood for barf). Paper work - and it was work - had to be done (don't you wish these forms were electronic? I wrote my address 5 times in a row) but then we were sent to St. Mary's which was just down the road for all the tests.

Blood, urine, booking appointments for the ultrasound. All kind of nerve wracking and I was thankful Brad was able to take the 3 hours away from work to be with me. The largest reason I wanted him with me was I was assuming there would be a lot more French in the health system, and as an Anglo patient, who speaks worse French when shes stressed and tired (i.e. TODAY), I didn't want to miss anything. But I was so impressed at the complete bi-lingual nature of the hospital - every form, nurse, doctor, orderly, sign, label. Everything. When they were calling our number we even listened and heard "FORTY-TWO, QUARANTE-DEUX!" How encouraging. See even Dr. Hall speaks perfect English but I was worried if I go into labour and she's not on call I may get a Francophone Doctor and miss a lot of what's happening. Likely not the case after my experience today.

So I got my hospital admittance card, a huge text book of all the rights and regulations in the province of Quebec for parents (like did you know they'll plant a tree for our child if we request it? For free. A tree. To set it's carbon offset and to GROW WITH THEM. AW!) Love it.

I also learned we'll get $100/baby/month and more after 3 babies, and $55/month is MINE just for breastfeeding. To encourage women that "breast is best" the government of QC is paying me to do it! Thank you very much QC!

It was definitely a long day and I have a fear of needles so the whole blood part wasn't my favourite, but having Brad there through it all was amazing. We made jokes about unnecessary hospital positions (like the man who just called out the numbers in the waiting room, though even the deli has a computer that flashes the number instead!) and dreamed of how different our lives will be the next time we leave St. Marys - on a warm August day with a new baby :)

best... afternoon... ever

Today I dragged myself out the door, against my own will, mostly to satisfy my husband.
See Brad had booked me a prenatal massage that I was skeptical about (I usually get massages at a spa near our house, and this one would require that I take the metro, plus walk for 15 minutes, both things I was strongly opposed to given the fatigue and nausea I was experiencing). Oh and he booked me one last week which I canceled so this really was necessary. So I went. Urg.

Off to a rocky start, I knock on the door (yes, it was at a woman's house...kinda sketch I thought) and she says "Oh I had you down for 4:00pm"! Note, it was 2:45pm. Are you kidding me? Thankfully Elise was able to take me anyway, saying she could push another appointment back. And I'm like GEE THANKS. I would hope I wasn't going to suffer for your clerical error. Add emotional to the list of symptoms, though this was all in my head mind you, not actually coming out in the form of words, though my face may or may not have given away my true feelings.

SO we begin. I tell her, as I do all of my massage therapists that I'd prefer she focus on my back, shoulders, arms, and face since I enjoy that the most thoroughly and am not ticklish as I am from the waste down. She calmly and perfectly nicely explains that she's "been doing this for 10 years and will once again, today, be doing a FULL body massage." What? I thought it was up to the customer. Who is this crazy lady? Aren't I paying? Aren't massages supposed to be relaxing? I'll be falling off the table, doesn't she get that?

So I continue to explain that it's usually not a problem and that I may have a hard time relaxing due to the extreme tickling that I was sure would take place. She asks me to "trust her". I tell her, and mostly my inner bitter self that I will try.

She begins. Ahhh lavender, my favourite scent, fills the room. She STARTS with the legs (let's get it over with I guess?) but here's the thing: I LOVE IT. She isn't giving a normal relaxation massage, she's giving a prenatal massage, and it's actually different! I had expected the same old same old, relaxing if they do it my way kind of deal... but Elise knew FAR more than I about what I needed. She continues and I'm in heaven. With my head down I was also experiencing worse nausea than before, but all the sudden it dissipates. I feel amazing. Not sick, not achy, not tired, not nauseous. AMAZING. ALIVE.

Massages in the past feel great but leave me feeling tired and groggy and wanting to stay on the table forever instead of facing the cold harsh outdoors. But this was different, after the 1 hour was up I felt so much healthier than I had in weeks, like I could conquer the world. I craved food (and the last little while all food has seemed disgusting to me except cereal and plain pasta... I know, how tasty...) I had the energy to jump off the table and I even planned to do some groceries on the way home. I started planning dinner for Brad and I. I started thinking about what we could do on this Friday evening (see the last few nights have resulted in me sleeping by 9pm). An hour surely had made a monumental difference on my health and life as it were. ONE HOUR! ONE MASSAGE. ELISE!

I also had my first positive reaction to my young age by a Montreal-er. Here in Montreal the birth-rate is in the negatives and the culture is such that people don't get married, don't have kids, and don't settle down, unless it's an accident or they're over 35. Generally speaking. Elise, who is also a natural path and certified pre-natal masseuse (one of the only ones in the downtown area, probably because of the low birth-rate I'd imagine), was thrilled to hear I was only 23.

"Your labour will surely be easier than many of my other clients who are in their 40s and having their first baby"

score.

"...I'm just so excited about the health of your baby! Your young age will drastically impact your baby's health for the positive"

sweet.

"...you'll find that as the first trimester winds down many of the symptoms will dissipate and due to your age you'll find you have even more energy than the average first time mom in her 30s or 40s."

i'm counting on it.

"...and if you haven't already thought about a natural birth, I'd implore you to think about it. Many women, especially my clients in their 30s and 40s' bodies can't take it as easily as a young woman like yourself. Because you're so healthy, young, flexible (yes she said this!), and long-limbed (whatever that means!), you could easily do this! With the right breathing exercises, there's no reason you shouldn't consider a natural, though more painful, birth. So many women just can't take it and have no faith in themselves even if they can... Please consider it!"

done.

Maybe it was the fact that this afternoon began in pain and grogginess and ended in motivation, comfort, and a new found energy, but I'm seriously considering what Elise said. Amidst the discomfort I'm experiencing now, drugs seem like the only answer, and easiest solution. But am I just throwing in the towel before the fight even starts? I know it will be excruciating to give birth, but who said it should be easy?

Elise also offered me some natural ideas to help with my nausea that I'm excited to give a try. I've tried ginger tea but the taste now is just too much and I haven't seen positive enough of results to continue gulping it down. But sesame seeds? Love those, and they apparently aid the hormone-induced nausea. I'll definitely try anything at this point, in the haze of nausea-free happiness I'm currently dwelling in.

What a great day :)

home is.

This weekend I traveled back to Oakville to surprise Missy for the weekend of her post-degree program graduation and to celebrate her new job. It was planned for weeks and the bonus would be that I'd also get to spend some quality time with Cath, who also stood up for me on my wedding day as a bridesmaid and is a dear dear friend. What a weekend. Filled with reunion bliss, hugs and kisses, story swapping, laughing like it was 2nd year again, sleepover after sleepover, husband-free girl time, and mutual encouragement. I can't express in better words how much I love my friends and loved being with them.

On Sunday after church, oh and how sweet it was to be at Harvest again (the church that I was "spiritually brought up" in over the last 5 years), Gill Symons said something important. "Isn't is great to be home again!?" I paused. Thought about it. After all the tears and turmoil of leaving Oakville, the home of my friends, my church, my whole network for the last 5 years, I never thought it would be so easy to say...

"This isn't my home anymore"

She understood immediately. Probably something a lot of women can relate to who leave their parents home and proverbial nest when they get married and start a new life and create a new home with the man they love. Even if you move down the street from them you still start something new. You still get it. She did.

As much as I miss Ontario, Harvest, Oakville, my parents, my girlfriends, the predominance of English, and all things familiar, Montreal is my home now. It feels so good to be here, in my apartment that is so distinctly Montreal. Old 1800's house renovated into flats, exposed brick walls, candles burning (which is an obsession I've picked up from Jamie since getting to know her living down the road from her and James), my office chair slightly rolling to the left because that's the way the floor tilts, and Chamomile tea (a gift from a McGill student) in my cup. Home.

The reunion was sweet but the future is here and my heart is in it. 100%.

pourquoi j'adore le Quebec

Brad just revealed that this weekend he's taking me to Quebec City for our anniversary (due to our hectic work schedule we couldn't take the weekend on our actual anniversary which was October 18th).

I'm SO excited!!! I've really come to LOVE Quebec and Montreal specifically. Here's Why:

1. Quebec is a socialist heaven. The rights of Quebec citizens are amazing, we're talking cheap rent with rent control, low costs of buying (and if you're buying down town the PQ Gov't will give you up to $6K if it's your 1st home, and $10K if you're got kids!!)
2. Which brings me to the next part - Quebec is an amazing province to have kids. The province supports a generous 1 year maternity leave for those whose employers don't offer it, so practically every woman or man, should they choose, can take a paid year off to care for their children.
3. And upon returning to work after the glorious 1 year of baby-bonding, Quebec citizens have access to (actually GOOD) $7/day day-care! It's completely government subsidized so anyone can be a working parent.
4. Not to mention, when my kids are of age, they can attend some of the greatest universities in Canada, if not the world (McGill was just ranked #18, the highest in Canada, take that U of T!), at significantly subsidized rates as well. That's right, Quebec citizens half HALF the tuition costs that I paid in Ontario and Canadians in other provinces. Leaving Quebec one of the provinces with the least number of graduating students with debt.

Granted, Quebec has these amazing offers because the birth-rate has been on the decline for decades as people here are statistically prone to never marry, never buy a home, never settle down, never have (or keep) children, and drop out of high school (yes, Quebec has the highest rate of teen depression, high school drop out, divorce, and abortion in Canada)

As you know it's the latter statistics that drew us to ministry here though we definitely are benefiting from the former!