Oli's Birth Story {part 4}

While Brad fumbled to contact our planned babysitter, I was starting to get excited. I knew I was going to meet my boy today, but had no idea what to expect. I'd heard with Lily that first babies are always on time or late, and that first babies generally take well over 12 hours to deliver. Lily was 8 days early, and born in 7 hours. So what did this mean for baby number two?

Erika was at a conference with no cell phone reception and after several calls and texts, we realized we needed to contact a back up ASAP. Thankfully another dear friend, Lindsay, was free and eager to help. She was at our house within 20 minutes, just in time for Erika to text me and say "I'm sorry! Do you need me to come over!?" haha. Lindsay held down the fort instead, so she was able to tell our friends who were also at the conference the exciting news and pray for us.

After giving a few instructions and tips to Lindsay, Brad raced to St. Marys just in time for them to break my water. Yes, my water had broken the night before, but not fully. Which explains the lack of contractions or additional fluid. After a huge GOOSH and tons more water I was in active labour within minutes. This was around 4pm and we were joking that Oli should hurry up so we could catch the 7pm Habs game. Little did we know, he was listening :)

I knew after enduring many hours of excruciating contractions with Lily that I wanted an epidural EARLY this time around. I didn't have the guilt or worry like I did last time, I was on a mission. Every nurse that came in I was like "don't forget the epidural!" even though my contractions were still tolerable. So when the doctor came in to give me the epidural we thought it was smooth sailing from here on out. By 6:30pm the contractions were getting very painful (but not as bad as I knew they get!) and my epidural was yet to set in. He said wait another ten minutes, but in the meantime the contractions were intolerably painful and I had dilated to 10cm. WHAT!? Yep. Second babies come fast. And epidurals don't always work.

I was panicking a great deal because I'd not mentally prepared to deliver Oli without pain relief. I've heard of friends who opt to go au natural, but they are also mentally preparing (especially with Hypobirthing) for weeks and even months before. I just kept crying out to Brad "why isn't it working?!" but of course I was too far gone for them to try a second time. This was very scarring to me and made the birth experience difficult. If the epidural worked, that would be been great. If I didn't get one, and experienced the pain, but planned for it, that would have been better than this. But not knowing you're going to experience such awful pain and then getting a big ol' SURPRISE at your most vulnerable was bad bad bad times.

Thankfully my OB was on call that night and she was wonderful. Same with my labour nurse who birthed 4 daughters in 5 years. She was such a friend to me during that time. She grieved with me that I was feeling unexpected pain, she voiced my emotions when I couldn't (think "I know this isn't fair Emily, but you are doing amazing!"), and cheered me on as I was pushing my heart out.  Highly encouraging people were all around me, which made the unplanned element less awful, but I'd still never go that route again.

Let me just say, birth is a gory affair. It's not pretty, even though it's beautiful. Having experienced child birth with the epidural and without, I'd go epidural, hands down, for our next baby. I can't even imagine choosing that pain! Yes, I survived, but gollllllllllllllly it hurt. And it didn't need to. Can you tell I'm still a little bruised by the whole thing? A little.

My OB was great at telling when I should push and when I should just let my body naturally move him out. It was like ten minutes of the most painful game of red light green light, but it helped me deliver Oli with no tearing which was great. And after ten minutes, there he was. My boy. She slid him right onto my chest and there he stayed for almost an hour. I stayed in the delivery room for near two hours, just cuddling, breastfeeding, bonding. In the end, of course, it was worth it and amazing.

Oli's Birth Story {part 3}

Since it was a Saturday, there seemed no reason not to head to the hospital - Brad was able to watch Lily and I knew my OB was working. Win-win. I was excited to leave the house alone too, so I got dressed up (you know life is in a tough stage when you get excited to go to the hospital because it means you can wear "real people" clothes and get fresh air!) and hopped on the bus.

Yes, I took the bus to the hospital to deliver my son. This makes people laugh a lot but I assure you, I was not in active labour and didn't think I would be birthing my son that day so I was thankful for the scenic, direct bus ride from our closest intersection to the hospital. It was late October after all (read: most beautiful time in Montreal), and I'd been bed-ridden for the three weeks prior.

When I got to the hospital I told the attendings that I was a patient of Dr. Hall and tons of people kept saying "oh she's working today! lucky you!" which I agreed :) However the same amount of health care professionals kept saying I probably wasn't in labour since I was completely fine, feeling nothing, and the more I recounted the 3am tale, the more it sounded like I wet the bed. Humiliating.

When I saw my doctor (about 30 minutes after I arrived) she was happy to see me and cute as ever. I love that woman! And visibly pregnant with her twins! For those moms out there, you know how you feel a bond between yourself and other pregos when you're pregnant? Totally happening! She, along with some adorable McGill med students, did an exam and tested the scant fluid to see if it was run-of-the-mill fluid or my "waters" (as if my water did break at 3am it wasn't fully so there would still be some to measure).

Dr. Hall came back excitedly just 15 minutes later with the test results. "Emily, amazing news! You are having this baby today! Your water did break!" I don't care how unprofessional it may sound that she seemed giddy - I loved it and her! "Oh good! I didn't wet the bed!" I blurted out and laughter ensured in the pregnancy ward triage. I was surrounded by amazing people and I was about to have my son!

They quickly ushered me into the delivery room and broke my water immediately - what was left of it. Because part of it had broken over 15 hours ago, there wasn't time to waste. I called Brad and told him to get Erika over stat as I was changing into my gown. He rushed around doing last minute things for Lily and trying to get a hold of our on-call babysitter, but she was no where to be found. After leaving a few texts and answering machine messages we began to get nervous. And I was starting to feel slight (this time, real!) contractions.

So there I was. Definitely in labour (yes!), with no childcare for my daughter and no husband by my side (gulp)...

Oli's Birth Story {part 2}

The false alarm trip to the hospital was so disheartening. On the elevator ride home a doctor saw us and pleasantly asked "heading home?" and I bitterly confirmed that we were. "You'll be back soon enough" he said kindly, though it felt like an eternity before we were.

Over a full week later, there were occasional contractions but nothing like the 12 hours of by-the-book contractions that sent me to the hospital earlier. I began to consider that Oli may come on time or late - something I'd never entertained before. That would not be cool. To even stand I felt enormous pressure in baby's neighbourhood and with every step shooting pain came from my lower back to the rest of my torso. My body was so weakened by these back to back pregnancies and I was so useless in the final weeks. I couldn't lift Lily or do much of anything without causing pain - unfortunate for me because I was looking to bring on labour!

I woke up at 3am on a Saturday morning feeling wet. Not drenched, but wet. I wasn't continuously dripping fluid nor did I have contractions - two things that follow your water breaking, 99% of the time. Physically I was such a wreck that it wasn't a stretch to think that I'd peed the bed, though obviously embarrassing! I woke up Brad, told him I *thought* I'd wet the bed (and apologized haha!), but also added that my water could have broken. He shot out of bed at the second notion, not the first. We googled it from my ipod and sure enough we read that unless I had continual liquid or contractions, it was unlikely that my water had broken. Back to bed I went, after grabbing a towel to cover the "pee". Sidenote: I know this whole story is ultra glamourous, try not to envy me or my husband ;)

The next morning we woke up to zero signs of labour, so it was business as usual. I was feeling great, but couldn't shake the night before. I washed our sheets and examined them real good. The wet stain spot was a decent size. Not yellow. Not smelling of urine. But very wet. Hmmmm.

Then I remembered my dear friend Jess who said when her water broke nothing happened and she had to be induced after 12 hours because of the dangers of a baby being inside of you with no water. I did the math. If my water broke, it was 13 hours ago. I better text her and get some details. Sure enough, she gave me the confidence I needed to head to the hospital to get checked out. But the real motivation was that my doctor whom I adore was working that day. Lily wasn't delivered by the OBGYN who had followed me through my pregnancy with her and I would love if Oli were.

So there I was - not feeling in labour at all. No real signs aside from a mysterious 3am wake up call. But knowing my husband was off that day and home with our daughter, and that my doctor would be waiting for me, I headed back to the hospital to see what was up...

Oli's Birth Story {part 1}

I never intended to wait so long for this post. Lily's birth story took a couple months too, but Oli is nearing 1 year! I guess that's a glimpse into life with two children over one :)
But as Oli begins to stand and crawl and babble his heart out, I think it's more than time to post how he came into the world.
On a beautiful day, 11 months ago.

My pregnancy with Olivier was much harder than mine with Lily. Many of you read about it here, so I'll spare you the minute details. When I was 7.5 months pregnant I was put on "light" bed rest and missed my best friend's out-of-province wedding where I was to serve as Maid of Honour, so perhaps more than the average pregnant mama, I wanted him OUT.

If I'm honest, I was beginning to resent the little guy. He had taken some moments from me that I'll never get back. I was dying to self him every day. I was missing out on time with my daughter because this pregnancy knocked me off my feet, literally.
But isn't that parenting, friends?
Before he was born he'd already taught me so much.

With Oli I wasn't expecting an on-time delivery or a late one. Lily was 8 days early, and she was my 1st. And everyone and their brother told me first babies never come early.
Well she did, so I expected her brother to as well. Hopefully even earlier (while still in the realm of healthy, of course!). With thoughts of an early birth coming, at 37.5 weeks we happily drove to the hospital after 12 straight hours of contractions. They weren't painful, but they were by-the-book consistent. 5 minutes apart, lasting for a minute each. FOR THE WHOLE DAY.

Since I wasn't in pain and we didn't have childcare lined up for Lily, we wisely waited them out at home until signs of more imminent labour came (my water breaking, painful contractions, etc). I had a warm bath and did all kinds of relaxing things. I tried to go to sleep, but by 11pm they were still ever-persistent. Eventually we called Erika, our dear friend who loves to go to bed early. She dutifully and lovingly came over, though she was surely in bed already when we called.

And we were off!

We called Brad's brothers on the way to the hospital and asked them what they thought about Olivier's middle name. See, we wanted to name him after one of his uncles, but which one!? We flipped a coin since we love both Mike and Rob equally. Rob won, but graciously (and so typically of Rob), insisted we go with Mike since Mike was older (Brad is the oldest).

We pulled into St. Mary's and I was hooked up to the fetal heart monitor and contraction-counter (does anyone know the real name for that!?)
I was texting with my long-distance girlfriend who conveniently lives in a timezone three hours behind us. At my midnight and her 9pm we chatted away excitedly. Then the two of us realized it was October 17th (Eastern Time). The birthday of her twins! How cool would it be if her children and my son shared a birthday? This was all too perfect.

And then my contractions stopped altogether.

False alarm. Sent home. Discouraged and defeated.

...and it was another week before we were back.

talk with no doc.

Talk of us having a third baby is swirling around our home.
Can we adopt in this current house? Likely no.
Do we want to wait until we move in five years
to add to our family? Absolutely no.
And there is a long list of idols in my heart that God needs to work on (and he is!) before I could even imagine having a third...

But lets just hypothetically say I did end up having a third....
It dawned on me today:
MY OBGYN IS ON MATERNITY LEAVE.

Weird eh? As if she gets to have babies too.
That's like teachers taking night school courses or something.
Totally bizarre.

Now I recall that she was visibly pregnant when she delivered Oli. And she was having twins (go, Doctor Hall!), so there's no way she wouldn't take the full year. But that means she likely won't be there if I needed her.

And my friend who is currently pregnant and had my same doctor last year had to find a new doctor. Not the biggest deal for my friend since she has now had different doctors for each of her three pregnancies, and Dr. Hall didn't deliver her baby either.

But I had Dr. Hall for both pregnancies and she delivered Oli.
We tight.

If we did have another, and that's a big if, it would be so hard for me to find a new doc.
I love my doctor. Especially after Oli's birth. I felt like she became part of our family or something.
That's a major point in the con section of my "should we have a 3rd baby" t-chart.
Yes, I said t-chart. How else does one make major life decisions ;)

supposed to...

I've faced the facts that though this pregnancy was far more complicated than Lily's and though I'm feeling far worse, this baby could be happier in mama than out of mama, and I may even go LATE with this one.

First babies are supposed to be the on-time-or-late ones, so everybody said (which drove me crazy, people are so free with their opinions that may or may not be discouraging, eh moms?) 

Lily came at the end of my 38th week. Aka right around now for this pregnancy. And then first labours are also supposed to be long. Minimum 12 hours I was told by more than one person (none of whom were doctors or midwives). Lily came 7 hours after my water broke. Without pitocin and with an epidural (which can slow labour, hence why many ladies who opt for an epidural also get pitocin to speed things up). 

Then there's the additional babes one may pop out - shorter pregnancies and shorter labours, so they say.

And I'm believing none of it.

LG may be late or on time, or delivered in my 39th week. All things Lily wasn't supposed to be, but was, and all things he's highly likely to be but may not. Babies can break the mold people! And I think I have two kids who don't like to beat to the drum of supposed to. 

I'm also preparing myself for a longer labour. If LG does come on time or late, he'll probably be bigger than his sis and that could slow down labour too. I'm also slightly worried he could be a 10 pounder or more (at my 32 week ultrasound he was suggested to be over 5 lbs) an labour could be harder (Lily flew out!) or even not possible (don't have the biggest hips) and a c-section may be our lot. As I've said before, I'm ok with that and we don't have strong feelings against c-section, I'm just preparing for this labour and delivery to not be the exact same that Lily's was. Every baby and birth is unique.

So today I have 10 days left, supposedly. Maybe I have more, hopefully I have less.

Maybe today's the day. The day of my 38 week appointment with Lily, I went in, had an internal exam and my membranes scraped (sorry for the harsh picture, I swear that's the medical term!), and went to the hospital hours later with a leaking water. 7 hours later we had Lily. 

And today I have that very appointment. 

Ah. If only they played by the rules and were predictable :)

on birth plans...

We made one the first time around.

Didn't follow it.

Felt horrible and like a failure for not doing so, too.

This time around, our plan is to trust our doctors, see how we're feeling, see how baby's doing, and go with the flow. 

I'm assuming an epidural is in the works, and that a C-section is not (baby's head is down as of this week), but no matter what happens, it's going to be an amazing day, in 15 days of less :)

I'm so excited to give birth again, to meet a new baby again, and to be part of the incredible story of a human's life again, but I'm not holding too tightly to any which way of doing it. Recently I read an article on what a crying shame it is for a woman's birth plan to not be followed through, and honestly, it made me sad. It's only that great a shame if the most important thing that day is the way one gives birth and not the end result. I think those opinions set us up for failure if everything doesn't go exactly to plan. If our bodies, or our pain tolerance, or our babies, or our doctor doesn't agree with THE PLAN, that somehow the experience is ruined.

Nothing will ruin BDAY, so long as the baby born is healthy. I say, write one if it will help you process and prepare for birth, but hold it with an extremely open hand and forgive yourself if when it doesn't go according to plan.

Loved the recent episode of Up All Night, where Regan and Chris have the baby. It made me cry even though it's a comedy (doesn't take much these days!), and laugh because I remember being just like her - holding so tightly to my birthing plan and feeling horrible when things didn't pan out. Thankfully before BDAY was through, Regan (and I) came to terms with the right priorities (healthy baby, healthy mom, no matter what) and weren't as devastated when we saw our plans fly out the window as we were when the first started taking flight.

Watch and enjoy!

33 week thoughts & FAQ

6 weeks and a coupla days to go - or even sooner (and maybe later)!

Current life situation: living amidst boxes and adjusting to a new sleep schedule (Lily's, but as a result mine). Moving in 6 days.

Current JOYS of being pregnant: ha! I am forcing myself to write something in this category... not easy... let's see... ummmmm I'm excited to meet this boy. the ultrasound was a BIG joy. LG was yawning and blinking a lot so we saw his eyes and mouth well (Lily was asleep during her 32 week US). 

Current BENEFITS to being prego: hubby is doing a LOT of things that I'd usually be doing. He's rising to the occasion big time. also I'm super motivated to get things done since I know when LG is born it'll be much harder... so one benefit is getting my but in gear (Xmas stockings and various sewing projects are completed!)

Current SYMPTOMS: along with the 3rd trimester ones I already mentioned,  just lots and lots and lots of pain/pressure. limping around the house and not really leaving the house because we don't have a car and the doctor insisted that I stay off my feet to the max :(

Oh, and mommy-brain like woah. I can't remember where I put a SINGLE THING. It's horrible. That, and clumsiness. I heard pregnant women were more forgetful and clumsy but didn't experience it too too much with Lily. This time I'm getting injured a ton. Even had a trip to the emergency room from one knife incident, and a second knife incident left me with glue holding together another wound. ouch.

Most Excited About: newborn snuggles. i looked at some pictures of Lily when she was 2 months old today and my heart became mush. just a bag of bones, and always wanting to cuddle. LG may be our last infant child, so I intend to really soak those early months up - even in hectic times.

Most Afraid About: my water breaking in a weird place (like church or on the metro), going into labour and not being able to reach Brad or find a sitter/caretaker for Lily, going into labour anytime before 37 weeks...

FAQ: 

have you chosen his name yet? 

- yes. we had it from when we didn't know if Lily was a boy or a girl, so it was easy peasy.

have you written a birth plan yet?

- no but we aren't planning to. we'll just plan to trust the doctors and get through it as comfortably as possible (so yes I plan to get an epidural for those wondering!!)

are you having friends/family in the delivery room or at the hospital?

- NO. just like last time, we intend it to be a very intimate experience. just Brad and I. it was so perfect for us during Lily's birth and first 2 days that we wouldn't have it any other way. Now, to find someone to take L off our hands...

are you having any family stay with you after the birth?

- again, no. Brad's dad and Debbie live 40 minutes away so they'll probably be the first to see LG, once we're discharged from the hospital, and then after that my family is coming for a weekend in late November followed by Brad's family the 1st weekend in December. That's also when we'll do our "Christmas" with them all because we're staying in Montreal this year for the first time (!!!) as a family of 4. 

We really benefited from not having live-in family help when Lily was born (though I totally understand why some people want their moms or families there 24/7 during the first little bit!). we learned to trust our instincts and learn on the fly right away, which was good for us.

are you breastfeeding?

- yes, Lord-willing!

are you cloth diapering?

- yes! after a few weeks whenever LG's umbilical cord comes off.

are you vaccinating?

- YES.

are you scared/worried/afraid?

- most days. two will be a HUGE adjustment. but we can do it!

are you taking maternity leave?

- oh ya! Thanks to my employer and the province of Quebec, I am taking my 2nd maternity leave and will be on it until Summer 2012.

is Brad taking paternity leave?

- yes! in QC the father gets 5 weeks in addition to the mother's 12 months. he'll take 1 week right away and then the remaining 4 later on during the 12 month period. With Lily he saved his 5 weeks until the middle/end of my maternity leave, and it just so happened I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy with LG... so it was bliss. I got to sleep in (and puke, undisturbed) and he did the morning feeds :)

***

soon and very soon...

• i'll be in a new home
• i'll be lounging on THE UNICORN
• i'll be decorating for Fall
• i'll be getting ready for Christmas
• i'll be mummer to another little one
• i'll be drinking a margarita (or a glass of wine or a 1/2 pint of beer...)
• i'll be up all night and practically all day
• i'll be a Plateau-dwelling lady
• i'll be giving birth (can.not.wait.)
• i'll be recovering from giving birth (can.definitely.wait)
• i'll be attempting breast-feeding & giving it my best shot (again)
• i'll be living farther from my friends
• i'll be amidst far more French
• i'll be watching hockey
• i'll be wearing non-maternity clothes

lots (good & bad) to look forward to in joy and anticipation and just a smidgen of fear.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. 

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

- Jesus (Matthew 6:34) 

AT LAST

The medical office I was recommended to use for my time here as a prego in Louisville was called Advocates for Women. And for the last three and a half weeks, that name seemed quite contradictory. I've been trying to be seen by one of their doctors and have an ultrasound but the paperwork was endless. Not helped by my lack of fax or phone. And once they got my records from my doctor in Montreal, they didn't want to take me on for just one visit, because it was too great a liability. But after e-mailing back and forth with the correspondent there, and getting nowhere, I decided today that enough was enough. I packed up Lily and drove to their office to speak to someone in person. Phone would have sufficed, but we don't have one yet. And what a difference it made!

I finally found my advocate in a blessed woman named Krista.

When I explained my situation - that I was only here for 9 weeks and I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant today, and that I needed my 20 week ultrasound, and that in Canada, if I didn't get it between 19-22 weeks, I'd have to wait until the final 32 week ultrasound, and that I didn't know where else to go for my predicament, oh that's when things got good. Krista left the room to be my advocate to the doctor who said I was too great a liability, only to return in a few seconds with a beaming smile on her face. "He'll do it!" she said, as if it were a personal victory for her and she was as relieved as I was.

God, thank you for answering my prayers today, in the very person of Krista. Everything I asked you to do, you did, through this woman.

My ultrasound, appointment, and when I'll find out the sex of Lily's sibling are TOMORROW @ 2pm. Tomorrow! I am so thankful and relieved. Tomorrow, almost four weeks of frustration will pay off. Going down there was such a good decision. I didn't want to because it was hot, we don't have a car with AC, and I'd have to take Lily during her nap time, but all of those things seem worth it now. Tomorrow. 2pm. YES!

Oh, and this ultrasound and appointment will cost me a pretty $400 penny since I'm here in the States. Gulp. I know Our provincial insurance will cover it back home (Just for being Canadian, hello!), and if for some reason they don't, our insurance through work will, but I still have such a hard time swallowing that pill - $400 cash to see a doctor and find out the details about the health of your baby. The same procedure that in Canada is FREE in public health care, and only $75, should you choose to go to a private clinic. Definitely not idea or fair, but I'm thankful to have the appointment, and that God has provided for us, allowing us to front that beastly bill.

Tomorrow. 2pm. Can't wait! 

rant.

FACT: I experienced more convenient and immediate health care for my pregnancy when I was in AFRICA.

FACT: Wait times in the USA for a doctor's appointment are just as long as they are in Canada and there are at least as many hoops to jump through to see a physician.

FACT: I am very unhappy so far with the medical treatment (or lack there of) I've received here as a paying customer, in the USA.

FACT: Canadian health care is great. Free. Thorough. Efficient. And I really miss it.

waiting game...

I AM SO IMPATIENT.

We don't have a cell phone yet, so I haven't been able to call the doc whom I was recommended yet, so I don't have an appointment yet, so I don't know the sex of the baby yet. To all wondering.

I need to wait a few more days for our phone to work, but I've decided that on Monday, I'm actually driving to her office and personally requesting an appointment. None of this calling in business. That's for people with phones, after all.

So no news on the baby gender front.

Some exciting news, I've started feeling baby no.2 kick a lot! I was getting nervous because up until a couple days ago I hadn't felt much and people have mentioned I don't even look pregnant here. Which is funny, because at the beginning my belly ballooned. I was wearing maternity cloths like 2 months SOONER than with Lily. But the belly has plateaued and I'm normal, if not on the small side for my progress into the 17th week. Which was slightly worrisome, because I LOVE to worry apparently... until I started feeling kicks. First small slight ones, and now the type that interrupt my sleep.

What a beautiful reason to not be getting much sleep :)

ignorance is not equal to bliss.

I'm living in a waiting game.
Every woman who's nearing 39 weeks of pregnancy is.
I know I'm not experiencing anything unique of unlike all my other pregnant/mom friends, but I just can't help but feel SO out of the loop.

I don't know my body. I don't understand it, and I don't understand most of the advice I've been told. Something that would be good to realize sooner I agree, but something I couldn't comprehend until I was actually in the state I am now... ignorance.

Take contractions. On the movies the woman's screaming at the first sign of a contraction while she's still at the restaurant/school/public place-you-don't-want-to-go-into-labour-in... but everyone including my doctor has told me it's not like that. It's uncomfortable, it's a tightening of the whole baby bump (read: uterus), it almost feels like your baby is flexing and your whole belly becomes hard. Oh and not to go to the hospital until they last 60 seconds each, are every 5 minutes, and last for 1 hour. Fair enough.

OK. If that's true, I should have gone to the hospital about 12 hours ago. Last night around 12:30am I started getting regular "contractions". My whole stomach would go hard, I would feel the pressure and tightening and then after about 60 seconds it would relax, only to be repeated less than 5 minutes later... I would nod in and out of sleep but it was constant all night, and believe me I know, because I went to pee NINE TIMES. Yes, a new record for me.

But my intuition told me not to go to the hospital, that this wasn't the "big moment" and I was right... this morning I've had these so called contractions much less regularly. I'm glad I didn't rush off to the hospital because I would probably have just sat there for hours since I'm clearly not in labour... so I should be happy I didn't take the bait. But I'm just confused and frustrated.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Stupid Braxton-Hicks, you make me doubt my body and all the advice I've been given... and you may just be doing me a favour...

a little behind...

For many reasons (i.e. traveling for 2 months this summer, visiting family in Ontario for weeks after that, not knowing if we were staying or moving apartments, etc) I am feeling very BEHIND.

I know the baby won't notice if her room is finished or not (but I will) but it's more than that... tonight we're starting our FIRST labour and delivery class of four, the last being precisely two days after our due date... The reason being, the class we should have taken was happening while we were in Africa this June. Apparently the last class should be exactly 1 month before your due date... Oops. Dropped the ball on that one!

I need to sit back and RELAX and enjoy these last few days/weeks before a baby infiltrates me and Brad's tight knit home and becomes our never-moving-out roommate that we love so much, we barely have time to think... I am so excited for her to come though that all I want to do is prepare FOR her instead of enjoy this time without her while it's here.

In reality, the things we have still to do aren't urgent (which is probably why they're not done) but to me they are because I want everything done and done right before she's born...

* we still need to buy between 6-10 more cloth diapers, but we're not starting cloth diapering until a month AFTER she's born

* we still need to get her correct crib in our nursery and assemble it, but she won't be sleeping in the crib until a month or even two AFTER she's born (bassinet will take care of that)

*we still need to take these labour and delivery classes, though my doctor's assured me that she knows what to do (duh) and the nurses and doctors are there to HELP me, so I won't be up a river with no paddle if I don't watch some terrifying video in the local health clinic with a bunch of strangers who are far less pregnant than me...

So really the things I'm behind on aren't something to stress about... I'm just stressing needlessly. But it's so hard not to! Stress is sometimes the easiest response when things don't go my way... Faith being the hardest and the most necessary.

"hope your bag's packed!"

Were the words from my OBG at our appointment,
with an excited smile on her face.

I can't imagine being pregnant for 3 weeks or more at this point - yet that's when my due date is... Though after my ultrasound last week, the theory was that I certainly wouldn't go late and maybe even would go a few days early (but these are just theories, I know). Even though all the while I was elated to hear this and was praying silently "please let me go a few days early, please!!"

Why?
(1) my husband is in the busiest time of the year for work on the first week of September. Having an August 28th due date complicates things in that he can't take pat-leave right away, and I'd love him to be around...

(2) my family had planned well in advance to run a half marathon (I know...and what have I done today?) in Quebec City on August 29th before knowing the due date... so if she comes a bit early, they would get to meet her, instead of going all the way back to Ontario (7 hours + driving) and then back to Quebec a few days later.

SO, all that to say, at today's appointment one of the first things I asked my doctor was "so, do you think I'll go early!?"

She laughed and said "your due date is pretty much set, and plus first time moms almost never go early... we'll start internal exams to see if you've begun to dilate next week as we don't expect you would anytime before then".

Oh. Sad times. But then she added, "but why not, lets do an exam now and see just to clear your head". THANK YOU LORD FOR THIS DOCTOR. I was so glad she was willing to just do it anyway, though she thought otherwise, because she knew it would give me peace of mind. Peace if I hadn't started dilating yet and peace if I had, to know either way.

To her surprise and my hopes, I HAD! She was surprised and laughed saying "wow! well you're almost 2cm dilated already... so happy we checked! I hope you've got your hospital bag packed, the baby will most definitely come before August 28th"

YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Now... to pack that hospital bag and finish the nursery... MM, can't wait to meet you!

COULD IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

Healthy baby, head-down position, strong heartbeat, healthy movement, sucking her thumb, perfect glimpse of her adorable face, 5 lbs 6 ounces (approx) and suggested to be born around 7lbs, set for an on-time arrival (ONE MONTH TODAY!!!) or a few days early :)

But YES, it could have been better.
Bradford is still away with work until August 1.
I miss him SO much right now...

the mom club

I feel like since becoming pregnant, every mom out there and I have this weird special bond, that can't be explained by any other thing. It's like I've entered this club and now I get the inside scoop on all-things-mom: best deals on baby related products, tips, crazy personal health information and conversation, you name it.

Take today.
I'm at the dentist and my hygienist who I've met twice in my life starts telling me about her 1-year-old and she "finally got him off the boob".
Am I hearing this correctly?
But it's completely normal, because I'm in the club.
Then she goes on and on about how expensive baby things are (this I can relate to having just finished my registry and feeling super guilty that I'm actually asking people to BUY ME this stuff that costs a fortune).
But it doesn't end there over a mutual hatred yet appreciation for "the good stuff" - you know, not cheaping out and buying the less expensive baby gear that simply doesn't last as long or isn't as high quality.

THEN SHE OFFERS ME HER BREAST PUMP.

She's only used it once, it was the same brand that they give you to try at all the Montreal Hospitals and she had two and now needs zero since we all know her son is "off the boob". She said she'll just bring it to her office this week and we can come get it. Simply to save me the money of buying a new one (though I'll buy the breast shields and bottles obviously)!

Her final words, "hey I know what it's like, I'm a mom too"

Love being in the club :)

Great post from Alpha Mom on "The Office"

I read this today and it made me laugh, intrigued, and want to watch The Office and then compare it to Father of The Bride part II, Nine Months, and all the other baby-delivery-type-movies.

I have written a couple times about how much I hate -- nay, truly and forcefully LOATHE -- the way pregnancy and birth are depicted on TV and in movies. It usually looks something like this:

Female character's water breaks at a hilariously inopportune time, without warning or any contractions, usually all over a male character's shoes. Everyone rushes to the hospital, and by the time they get there the female character is (of course) in active labor and screaming hilariously for drugs. (Bonus hilarity points if the female character ever mentioned a plan to have a natural birth.) The father of the baby is either trapped in an elevator or across town thanks to a wacky series of hilarious circumstances, or whining about the female character squeezing his hand too hard and cursing at him. Non-related male characters accidentally barge into the room and faint and/or vomit at the horrors they witness. A few minutes later, the doctor presents a six-month-old covered in Vaseline and food coloring to the entire cast. The baby's name is probably the one you picked out for your own baby, which means you have to start over because people will think you copied. The female character gets the world's largest hospital room, capable of handling unlimited visitors, and she drops all the baby weight in a matter of hours and spends exactly one scene dealing with the indignity of slightly frizzy hair to indicate what she just went through.

Then they all go home and the baby spends the rest of the series asleep in its crib off camera.

FIN!

So...I was really genuinely surprised that of all TV shows, The Office got childbirth and its aftermath almost completely right.

If you haven't seen it, the two-part episode is available right now at Hulu. Part one is here, and here's part two. The first part, the one with the actual birth, is worth watching, for a few reasons:

1. The labor details are more or less accurate. Pam has contractions that slowly build in frequency and intensity. Her water breaks after she's already in active labor. (It can certainly happen the other way around, but it's much more common for the water to break after contractions have started.) And the breakage simply requires a wardrobe change, not a mop and a haz-mat crew.

2. Pam's reactions to labor are sweetly believable. She stays at the office past the 5-7 minute point because she doesn't want to check into the hospital until midnight so she can maximize her HMO's stingy hospital stay coverage. And once it seems like she's getting a little ridiculous in this sticking point, she reveals that actually, she's mostly just really scared.

3. The delivery is off-camera. Sure, Michael does the cliched burst-into-the-delivery-room gag and there's plenty of screaming, but it's by far the least eye-rolly of television birth scenes I've seen.

But the reason I'm really writing about a stupid TV show is because of the second part. The baby (an actual newborn!) is born, but the camera stays with Jim and Pam throughout their hospital stay, and oh, it was eerily accurate. Hospital birth in America? The Office is onto you. Pam wants to breastfeed, but has trouble getting her baby to latch and receives less than enthusiastic support from the hospital staff. Her nurse keeps pushing formula while Pam's frustration mounts and her heart breaks. The nurse rolls her eyes when Pam worries about nipple confusion and generally does little to support her desire to nurse. Pam gets a roommate (for whom everything is going just SWIMMINGLY) and she and Jim crowd together on her hospital bed, terrified of the ticking countdown to their coming discharge time.

There's of course, typical sitcom stuff (a male lactation consultant; Jim grabs their roommate's baby in a sleep-deprived haze and Pam nurses it by accident), but even that was kind of daring -- both for the taboo of nursing another woman's child and the heavens not crashing down, but also the act makes Pam realize that her baby doesn't latch like that baby. (What have I said, over and over and over again? Babies know how to suck, not latch, and it's not YOUR FAULT if everything doesn't work like clockwork at first.)

Jim and Pam's fear of a short two-night hospital stay was a framing device across both parts, and they fight it until the very last minute. But it isn't until they leave the hospital (or, more accurately, Pam is unceremoniously dumped on a bench outside because the wheelchair and nurse are needed elsewhere), that things actually improve. The baby cries and Pam reaches into her bag -- and my heart clenched because I was sure she was reaching for a bottle, having been convinced to give up -- and grabs her nursing cover. The baby latches and nurses in earnest just as Jim returns with the car and he beams with pride, and waves of relief wash over them both. They can do it. They can do this.

I'm getting chills just thinking about it. It! A SITCOM. And not a particularly sentimental sitcom at that. And yet when it came to BREASTFEEDING, I'm not sure I've seen a better take on the first days postpartum. So...thanks, Office writers and actors, for getting it mostly right, and for not being afraid to show that breastfeeding can be both really really hard and really really worth it.

(That's what she said!)

**taken from Alpha Mom's Blog

The English Patient

I'm officially a patient at Saint Mary's Hospital in Montreal, QC!

It's such a relief to have that all finalized, after 3 grueling hours today, waiting in lines, being poked and prodded, throwing up in waiting rooms... you get the picture :)

I heard from Loni that her OBGYN was amazing, so I called her up and thankfully she can see me throughout my pregnancy... but not until MARCH 2! That's like 1.5 whole months from where we are right now. However, her intense secretary said that cancellations are common, so chances are I could see Dr. Hall in February or even January (if I'm really lucky!) but I'd have to get my preliminaries done ASAP since who knows, they could call me tomorrow and ask to see me Thursday ... a girl can dream right?

So Brad and I head to Dr. Hall's office this morning for 10am. Who would have known she was in a building of like a thousand other OBGYNs? We finally found her after a not so easy running through the halls reading names on doors and several elevator rides up and down ( read: setting the mood for barf). Paper work - and it was work - had to be done (don't you wish these forms were electronic? I wrote my address 5 times in a row) but then we were sent to St. Mary's which was just down the road for all the tests.

Blood, urine, booking appointments for the ultrasound. All kind of nerve wracking and I was thankful Brad was able to take the 3 hours away from work to be with me. The largest reason I wanted him with me was I was assuming there would be a lot more French in the health system, and as an Anglo patient, who speaks worse French when shes stressed and tired (i.e. TODAY), I didn't want to miss anything. But I was so impressed at the complete bi-lingual nature of the hospital - every form, nurse, doctor, orderly, sign, label. Everything. When they were calling our number we even listened and heard "FORTY-TWO, QUARANTE-DEUX!" How encouraging. See even Dr. Hall speaks perfect English but I was worried if I go into labour and she's not on call I may get a Francophone Doctor and miss a lot of what's happening. Likely not the case after my experience today.

So I got my hospital admittance card, a huge text book of all the rights and regulations in the province of Quebec for parents (like did you know they'll plant a tree for our child if we request it? For free. A tree. To set it's carbon offset and to GROW WITH THEM. AW!) Love it.

I also learned we'll get $100/baby/month and more after 3 babies, and $55/month is MINE just for breastfeeding. To encourage women that "breast is best" the government of QC is paying me to do it! Thank you very much QC!

It was definitely a long day and I have a fear of needles so the whole blood part wasn't my favourite, but having Brad there through it all was amazing. We made jokes about unnecessary hospital positions (like the man who just called out the numbers in the waiting room, though even the deli has a computer that flashes the number instead!) and dreamed of how different our lives will be the next time we leave St. Marys - on a warm August day with a new baby :)