supposed to...

I've faced the facts that though this pregnancy was far more complicated than Lily's and though I'm feeling far worse, this baby could be happier in mama than out of mama, and I may even go LATE with this one.

First babies are supposed to be the on-time-or-late ones, so everybody said (which drove me crazy, people are so free with their opinions that may or may not be discouraging, eh moms?) 

Lily came at the end of my 38th week. Aka right around now for this pregnancy. And then first labours are also supposed to be long. Minimum 12 hours I was told by more than one person (none of whom were doctors or midwives). Lily came 7 hours after my water broke. Without pitocin and with an epidural (which can slow labour, hence why many ladies who opt for an epidural also get pitocin to speed things up). 

Then there's the additional babes one may pop out - shorter pregnancies and shorter labours, so they say.

And I'm believing none of it.

LG may be late or on time, or delivered in my 39th week. All things Lily wasn't supposed to be, but was, and all things he's highly likely to be but may not. Babies can break the mold people! And I think I have two kids who don't like to beat to the drum of supposed to. 

I'm also preparing myself for a longer labour. If LG does come on time or late, he'll probably be bigger than his sis and that could slow down labour too. I'm also slightly worried he could be a 10 pounder or more (at my 32 week ultrasound he was suggested to be over 5 lbs) an labour could be harder (Lily flew out!) or even not possible (don't have the biggest hips) and a c-section may be our lot. As I've said before, I'm ok with that and we don't have strong feelings against c-section, I'm just preparing for this labour and delivery to not be the exact same that Lily's was. Every baby and birth is unique.

So today I have 10 days left, supposedly. Maybe I have more, hopefully I have less.

Maybe today's the day. The day of my 38 week appointment with Lily, I went in, had an internal exam and my membranes scraped (sorry for the harsh picture, I swear that's the medical term!), and went to the hospital hours later with a leaking water. 7 hours later we had Lily. 

And today I have that very appointment. 

Ah. If only they played by the rules and were predictable :)