on birth plans...

We made one the first time around.
Didn't follow it.
Felt horrible and like a failure for not doing so, too.

This time around, our plan is to trust our doctors, see how we're feeling, see how baby's doing, and go with the flow. 
I'm assuming an epidural is in the works, and that a C-section is not (baby's head is down as of this week), but no matter what happens, it's going to be an amazing day, in 15 days of less :)

I'm so excited to give birth again, to meet a new baby again, and to be part of the incredible story of a human's life again, but I'm not holding too tightly to any which way of doing it. Recently I read an article on what a crying shame it is for a woman's birth plan to not be followed through, and honestly, it made me sad. It's only that great a shame if the most important thing that day is the way one gives birth and not the end result. I think those opinions set us up for failure if everything doesn't go exactly to plan. If our bodies, or our pain tolerance, or our babies, or our doctor doesn't agree with THE PLAN, that somehow the experience is ruined.

Nothing will ruin BDAY, so long as the baby born is healthy. I say, write one if it will help you process and prepare for birth, but hold it with an extremely open hand and forgive yourself if when it doesn't go according to plan.

Loved the recent episode of Up All Night, where Regan and Chris have the baby. It made me cry even though it's a comedy (doesn't take much these days!), and laugh because I remember being just like her - holding so tightly to my birthing plan and feeling horrible when things didn't pan out. Thankfully before BDAY was through, Regan (and I) came to terms with the right priorities (healthy baby, healthy mom, no matter what) and weren't as devastated when we saw our plans fly out the window as we were when the first started taking flight.


  1. funny show! and really funny episode! And funny enough, (becuase you had told me about your first experience with a plan, etc.) it had made me think exactly of you! (not all of it...she was a little drastic...in a good/comedic way).

    AND totally agree about the mixed up priorities that are encouraged for pregnant/prenatal women. The expectations make you think you should have a plan and have it all together (otherwise, what kind of mother are you?!!) but the crazy thing is you [almost] can NEVER plan it. Too many variables and more!

    I'm glad you're feeling the freedom to focus on you and your baby's health and i hope it goes REALLY well for you. Whatever the story, it's your (and LG and Brad)'s story, for better or worse! (but i'm sure you'll do great!)

    love, Jen
    ps. can't wait to meet LG!

  2. it's funny that you mentioned that show. i totally thought of that episode when i saw the heading on your blog. blessing on your little guys birth