Yeah... this hopefully isn't a bad sign of my actually relations with my own future child... but I am not a baby person *hangs head in shame*.
Is this a horrible thing?
I talked to my friend Hailey the other week about this. She has a lovely little girl named Stella. Hailey is not a baby person either. Phew! Community for the wretched! She said it was something she was quasi-ashamed about too. I mean, what pregnant woman isn't a baby person? I guess me! And Hailey (thank goodness).
Case in point: today on the metro there were TWO brand new babies in carriages with their respective mothers. Everyone around them were cooing and smiling, and I was avoiding eye contact. I don't really care about other people's babies. I mean, some more than others. I love playing with Andy and Loni's baby girl Olivia. But I'm happier to hang out with their 2 and 4-year-olds and play and wrestle and hug the heck out of them. Gosh... I feel like I'm confessing alcoholism. The guilt! The shame! The FREEDOM!
I am not a baby person.
I do not thing most babies are cute.
I do not look at albums of babies on facebook (normally). I look at mama's growing belly albums, baby's nursery albums, and albums of kids, but not babies. Wait a second, aren't I about to like...have one? Yeah, I know. SCAREY.
I do firmly believe things will be different with my OWN baby. I mean, I already love it and it's just a heart beat and cause for nausea. I pray for my baby all the time, and not just for his/her health and development, things wayyy down the road. Like their faith, their friends, their future spouses. I am in love with this baby in my belly. So why not other babies?
Jamie is a baby person. She CRAVES babies. To cuddle a new born is like a high for her. It's one of her favourite stages of a person's life. I'm so lucky to have her around, please O please rub off on me Jamie!! Jess, again, LOVES babies. Every time we're together with a new born baby (every time we're at the Smits house basically), you know where to find her. Baby in arm, sitting somewhere, in love. Where am I? Other room, possibly Hug-Attacking with Matty (something we had to bring in once I got pregnant and could no longer tickle-attack with him which always resulted in flailing punches to my belly).
I, on the other hand love KIDS. I think they're so fun and they "say the darndst things" and they love you in such a real, pure way, and they make me laugh, and they can hug back, and they ask such great questions, and ahhh... I could go on forever. As I type this I'm thinking of my best boy, Matty. I love Matty. I want me own Matty... I know how to deal with Matty's. I think babies on the other hand, scare me. They're unpredictable, they can't explain themselves, they can't ask me for anything (I just have to KNOW)...
Anyway, again, I've been told many times that non-baby-people become baby-people with their own babies. And I can see glimpses of that already with the love I have for our baby. Just a confession that I think needed to be made.