WOW, remembering right now exactly why I married my husband... He is AMAZING.
I feel so much better about the whole could-be situation after talking to him.
Last night when he got home, in borderline hysterics (crying, laughing, oh gosh...) I told him how there was a mistake in my previous planning for when we're fertile (and thus when not to have sex, JUST until December...) and we may have been having unprotected sex for the last 4 days that were my most fertile.
warning...potentially gross part below
I know I know, the chances are low. Women try for months before conceiving a child, but then again some people do it once WITH protection and still wind up pregnant, so I don't want to be ignorant. There's also the matter of (don't get grossed out!!) Discharge. When you're pregnant it increases and becomes a thicker consistency similar to if you have a yeast infection. I fit the bill for that symptom, but again, could be a number of things.
It's just the whole what-if uncertainty that we're in right now. You all know how much we want a baby, but just in December... one month from now would make a HUGE difference.
We could go to North Africa this summer (traveling in the 2nd trimester is apparently the best time), we could go to France after and have some amazing R and R before kids arrive, our baby could be born in September instead of the dreaded August (that's a hot month I'm thinking to be super pregnant!). Ah the next 9 days (before I get my period) will be a real interesting time (read: poor Brad, I'll be laughing and crying s'more).
But as I started this post, he has been AMAZING. I was worried he (the seasoned back-packer and traveler extraordinaire) would be disappointed if it turned out we couldn't go on Project this summer or France afterwards. He was so cool about it. Cucumber cool.
"Babe, we can go anytime, we're young, there will be more opportunities for travel",
"Babe, God is in control and whatever happens is his will so let's not worry about it",
"Babe people try so hard to become pregnant, if we are it's a blessing!"
Like I said, WOW. Just like that my panic dissipated into peace about the whole thing. I know I do so badly want to go on this missions trip this summer, and of course France was icing on the already delicious cake... but he's right - about all 3 of his above quotes.
So, time will tell... I'll keep you posted.