Those words, uttered by my husband, were so comforting to me yesterday. Another month of trying (this was technically number three), another period. Not pregnant.
I took the discovery much better than I did in New York. Maybe because I was convinced I was pregnant in NY, so the news almost felt like a miscarriage (though I am certain I can't say that accurately and don't want to be insensitive to those who have suffered through miscarriages - all I can say is I felt as though I lost a baby, not hope of a baby, because I was so sure I was pregnant).
This time, however, I didn't really feel pregnant and refused to look into the "common symptoms" I was feeling. And New York taught me to guard my heart more, and not get hopes up early. In all, I was more trusting of God with His plan for our family when I discovered I was surely not pregnant this month. And I'm much happier in his presence this way, even though my hopes and his plans didn't cross paths this time.
Also, this month got me thinking about if I WERE pregnant. I've never been so public with trying on this blog. You all knew we were thinking about trying, but not the details, with Lily. And nothing with Oli until I was indeed, pregnant. So this time around, the day after I'm supposed to get my period, you'll be like "SO!?" and if I don't blog right away our secret will be out before we even tell our families (if you assume silence means pregnant.)
Anyhow, to clear that potential problem up, from here on out, I'm not going to blog about specific dates (i.e. I'm Ovulating! or My Period Is Due Tomorrow!). And When we get the news either way, I probably won't blog about that right away either, so please wait on me to tell you instead of asking :)
Here's to month #4 of trying! Hoping it's THE month, but loving what God is doing in my heart as I wait.
I took the discovery much better than I did in New York. Maybe because I was convinced I was pregnant in NY, so the news almost felt like a miscarriage (though I am certain I can't say that accurately and don't want to be insensitive to those who have suffered through miscarriages - all I can say is I felt as though I lost a baby, not hope of a baby, because I was so sure I was pregnant).
This time, however, I didn't really feel pregnant and refused to look into the "common symptoms" I was feeling. And New York taught me to guard my heart more, and not get hopes up early. In all, I was more trusting of God with His plan for our family when I discovered I was surely not pregnant this month. And I'm much happier in his presence this way, even though my hopes and his plans didn't cross paths this time.
Also, this month got me thinking about if I WERE pregnant. I've never been so public with trying on this blog. You all knew we were thinking about trying, but not the details, with Lily. And nothing with Oli until I was indeed, pregnant. So this time around, the day after I'm supposed to get my period, you'll be like "SO!?" and if I don't blog right away our secret will be out before we even tell our families (if you assume silence means pregnant.)
Anyhow, to clear that potential problem up, from here on out, I'm not going to blog about specific dates (i.e. I'm Ovulating! or My Period Is Due Tomorrow!). And When we get the news either way, I probably won't blog about that right away either, so please wait on me to tell you instead of asking :)
Here's to month #4 of trying! Hoping it's THE month, but loving what God is doing in my heart as I wait.
As, I am brand new to following your blog, this post totally touched my heart. I am at the point in my life where I am learning to wait and be still. I am not the most patient person on the planet and learning to wait until God says "go" has proven a difficult task for me. Thank you so much for sharing this post.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deanne! Glad youre here :)
ReplyDelete