19.10.12

Written on September 20th - waiting + shopping

My week of fertility (so we think) has come and gone, and now all we can do is wait. Wait and shop, that is.

I'm not sure it's the wisest thing in the world - buying maternity clothes before conceiving - but I did it tonight. Both Gap and Old Navy have a fabulous maternity selection and both were having enormous sales. Both had discounts on their sale items (Old Navy - 15%, Gap - 25%), so clothes that were already grossly marked down were an additional discount. We're talking stylish maternity tops for $6, people. I had to.

In the back of mine and Brad's minds is the nagging thought that we may not conceive as easily the third time around. We weren't trying last month, but we weren't using protection, and we didn't get pregnant. With Lily and Oli, the second we were off the pill it seemed we were with child. But not this time. Which is not at all worrisome and I know it takes a few months minimum for most, but I'm a worrier. I worry. It's not good and I'm working on it. But in the back of my mind is that fear that I won't conceive quickly. And I just spent $80 on maternity clothes.

But hear me out. Both of my pregnancies (after 1 month of trying) had me in my third trimester in the heat of summer. I got by for the majority of winter and spring with the Bella band. Towards the very end of the cold weather I wore maternity jeans, and a couple tops, but mostly because they were novel and a tad more comfortable. This time, if I get pregnant this or next month (fingers crossed) I'll be my biggest in the spring, but definitely showing in the winter too. And I have no maternity clothes for cold weather. This sale was hard to pass up and I have birthday money to consider. So I went ahead and bought winter maternity clothes (most that can transition into other seasons and when I'm not preggers too) before being pregnant. I'm that girl.

I'm waiting to get pregnant. My heart is set on it. My wardrobe is ready (in 7-10 business days, thank you free shipping). But I'm not pregnant. Not yet.

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