memories and planning

I was just reading over a couple of posts from before Lily was born. I was waiting eagerly and not-so-patiently to meet my baby girl, totally unaware of what was before me as a mom. I was set on having a natural, epidural-free childbirth (Ha!) I was afriad and excited.

The things that stressed me out were not knowing what the heck I was doing and baby-fying our office before she came so she wouldn't be "homeless". What an incredible difference a few months makes!

Today, her room is the last thing on my mind, even though there are elements of it I'm still pulling together. The big picture becomes real when the baby is actually born and you start stressing about things that matter: breastfeeding, the health of the baby, sleep {mine and hers!}, vaccines, family planning, etc. Oh when life was simpler! But it's so much richer now, and I love our chaotic life, even if, at times of weakness, I may or may not deny it. Ahem.

Anyway, as I read a couple of posts from last summer, memories came flooding back. The truth is, you learn a lot by DOING and of course reading and not being afraid to ask for help. I wish I knew that when I was worrying about not knowing enough.

Not to mention, when I gave birth to Lily I knew the one thing I needed to know: I loved her. And with that fact, I was motivated to learn everything else. I wish I could tell my non-mom self this.

Would it have made a difference?

It's hard to think about being pregnant again, because it was such a long, life-altering experience the first time. Kind of seems like the type of experience you only live through once. Hence the once-in-a-life-time feel of holding your baby for the first time in all their goopy glory. But Lord-willing it will be a several-in-a-life-time experience, which brings me to this post.

We are thinking of trying for baby MM #2 this summer, but a lot of planning must take place. Why? Notably, I'm in two weddings. The weddings of the two most important women in my life {not including Lily and my mom}!

Lisa's wedding is August 20th, sound familiar? Yes and the bday girl will be their flower girl :)

And Missy's wedding is October 2nd. Two dates that are HUGELY important to me and ones I don't want to miss because I'm a) in labour b) too close to my due date or c) with a brand-new baby who needs me 24/7.

So planning is key. It always is, I suppose. But it REALLY is in this case. Missing either of those weddings would be heartbreak, even though the arrival of a baby would be a huge blessing. So we're thinking the most pregnant I'd like to be at Missy's wedding is a maximum of 7 months. Meaning April is the EARLIEST we'd like to get pregnant, but ideally, sometime this summer.

I really am so curious about what pregnancy is like the second time around. Will I have as many posts filled with self-doubt and stress? Hopefully not. Will I have the same symptoms as with Lily? Again, hopefully not! But there will be so many more things to think about: how will we prepare Lily for a sibling? Where will we live (we're thinking of buying this Spring)?, How will we handle two kids? What if MM #2 is a boy (Obviously having another girl would be easier since we already have everything, but it would be so exciting to have a boy too...)? And the questions continue.

Alas, memories are fun. I'm actively learning from them. That's why I wrote this blog to begin with. But planning is essential. best laid plans, and all that jazz...