I didn't assume it would be any different :)

Both of my pregnancies included a heavy dose of 1st trimester nausea and vomiting and I knew going into this third one that it would be much of the same. Not much to say on that, except I was right, and it's happening.

Being prepared helped a bit - Brad is more prepared and helpful when I'm sick than in the past because he's wrapped his head around it and expects it. But nothing really glams up the 24/7 nausea and head-in-toilet scenes from my last week and a half (the nausea, like my pregnancy with Oli, didn't start until the end of week 5).

My plan was always to get on Diclectin asap, but you need a doctor to prescribe it to you and my appointment with my new OBGYN isn't until the end of February! As in, 4 weeks away :(
I could go to the walk-in clinic but that usually means a long wait, finding childcare during the day (or my husband taking hours off work), and making myself vulnerable to other people's sicknesses. I'm still not sure if it's better to wait it out or go that route.

Bleck. That's what's up. Week 7. #stillthankful

maternity style, the third time around

My first two pregnancies were back to back and by the end I was SO sick of my maternity clothes. Coupled with the fact that we were sure we were done with biological babies, I was all to happy to get rid of my maternity clothes. Most of which was just hand-me-downs and clearance rack items anyway.

I'm sort of kicking myself for getting rid of the stuff, but also not. I'm excited to get new stuff, and I know I don't have to break the bank to do so. Like the two pregnancies before it, this pregnancy has me at my biggest IN THE SUMMER. So the hot temperatures are killer, but it's easiest for clothes. Long, flowy dresses and skirts work, and don't even have to be maternity.

But since I'm already showing at 6 weeks (yikes), I'm sure before the hot days of summer I'll need full-on maternity gear. Thankfully I was able to order some sale items recently from the US Old Navy and Gap stores and ship them to my grandma who spends her winters in Florida (Oli and I are visiting in March!). I got pale purple and bright blue skinny maternity jeans for $15 a piece and tons of tanks. Why doesn't Canada's Gap and Old Navy have maternity clothes!? so unfair.

And I loved loved loved these crazy floral skimmer jeans from The Gap but they were $70 which was so not happening. Until today, when they were 35% off! Now, they still cost more than I normally would spend on maternity (or any!) pants, but I think I'll get good use out of them since I'm showing so early. I'll wear them for the end of Winter, all of Spring, on cooler summer days, All of September when I'm ready to pop, and then probably in October and so on since there's no way my body is going to be back to normal immediately following the birth of baby #3. So almost a year of wear seems worth the $40.

Plus, it's SO hard to feel cute when you're pregnant (or is it just me?) and my maternity clothes have always been comfortable but not at all trendy (I spent a good chunk of my pregnancy with Lily in a Muslim country, so it was all about modesty). I think I deserve a pair of crazy/ trendy/ fun floral skinny skimmer jeans for this final pregnancy, don't you ;)

I love both of these maternity looks hard.

some 'splainin to do...

So the word is out! I am PREGO. yes yes yes, thank you Lord!!! Now, to explain myself, because I know I kind of led y'all astray just a little bit. But I never lied, I promise :)

When I wrote this, saying, "I AM NOT PREGNANT", I didn't yet know I was. I took the test the next day and found out I was, though ;)

When I wrote this, saying "I'm not afraid to try again with the ovulation predictor kit", I was pregnant. And I led you to believe I wasn't, because I led you to believe we were trying for yet another month with this new awesome method. I chose my words carefully. If ever we try for a forth baby (doubt we will, but hey, who knows) the fear of "trying" and not conceiving wouldn't exist because the ovulation predictor pee sticks are that awesome. They seriously took all the stress and worry out of trying, and after using them to pin point ovulation, we both said "wow, that was great! if we're not prego, next month will be SO MUCH BETTER than months past!" Thankfully, though, we were :)

When I wrote this, saying "IF I WERE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW", I wasn't lying either, just maybe causing some doubt or leaving it obscure. I was pregnant right then, and am so thankful that my kids will be as close in age as they will be.

So there you have it! I tried to keep it under wraps for as long as I could, but then my extreme nausea began (just like the other pregnancies, right at 6 weeks) and my baby bump came out of nowhere, so people left and right were guessing or asking if I was pregnant. So the news came out early. Now you all know! Which is more fun anyway, because I can begin to write about the pregnancy and have more support as I journey through these next very hard weeks.

Some things I'll be writing about soon:

• Reasons why we announced our pregnancy so early (there are other reasons besides the bump and obvious sickness)
• Travel plans with baby #3 in utero (baby will be taking two trips before he/she is born!)
• Picking a name for baby #3
• Telling Lily (Oli is clueless, as she was at his age when he was born)
• The lack of excitement from the general public when it's your third pregnancy (the 1st is such big news but we've noticed a steady decline in public response as we've had more)
• Fabulous maternity clothes I'm drooling over (I got rid of all mine since we thought we were done so it's time to do some shopping!)
• Where will baby sleep?
• Will I attempt breastfeeding after two horrible experiences?
• Will I get an epidural after experiencing one birth with and one without?
• etc, etc, etc

Stay tuned! 

details to come :)

sibling spacing

We've always been fans of the back-to-back babies around here. We purposely didn't re-start birth control after Lily was born with that in mind. Now, we did not think we'd get pregnant so quickly (she was just four months old!), but looking back we are so happy we did. At the time it was a bit wild. Lily was not even walking when Oli was born and our hands were indeed full. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Which has made the road to baby #3 difficult. When we decided to start trying for #3, Oli was already 11 months old. Not a big deal to most people, but we like our kiddies CLOSE in age. Even if I got pregnant immediately, Oli would be 18 months older than his younger sibling, which in our minds was kind of our ideal max. Fast forward to several months of trying - the sibling age gap grows and grows. If I were pregnant right now, I'd still have all three children in three years (and some of you are thinking YOU CRAZY). That would be very very ideal.

What can I say? This is just how Brad and I have experienced and loved it, so obviously it's what we were aiming for for our third child. I know it's definitely not for everyone, but for me, the maximum age difference between each child would ideally be two years.

Why?

• I like the challenge. Honestly, my life is fairly simple right now with Lily in part time daycare and Oli and her both on a great schedule. Time for another baby :) 
• I like that the kids are in similar stages.
• I like getting hard things over with quickly (pregnancies, sleep training, etc) 
• I like that Lily and Oli can share toys.
• I like that they both wear size 4 disposables and the same cloth diapers.
• I like that they have the same bedtimes and naptimes (essentially) 
• They don't have cousins yet (and won't have any nearby) so I like that they have family playmates the same age.
• I believe they'll be closer relationally if they are born closer. Yes, I know there are exceptions (I am told often), and as adults age is really not important, but I think for young children 3-6 years is a HUGE age gap.

What about you? What's your ideal for sibling spacing? 

** Of course there are many things out of our control. 

We are in that boat, and wish I was already 6 months 

or more pregnant right now. 

Some women aren't fertile for up to a year postpartum, 

some women deal with infertility and miscarriages.

I don't want to be insensitive to these concerns, 

I'm just curious what your ideal is :)

review of the ovulation predictor kit after month #1

Guys, I love it.

Or should I say ladies? Because I hope no guys are reading our journey through trying to conceive a third child this closely. Unless it's you, Dad. I love you.

But anyway. The ovulation pee sticks are AMAZING.

After going off the pill and not getting pregnant the first or second month, it occurred to me that this time trying may be harder than the first two. Not a fun realization, but an important one. I had to look at my options. Sure, there are many, but the way I saw it, I had four.

1. Have sex every day or every other day. You're bound to hit an ovulating day some time!
2. Take my basal body temperature every morning and chart ovulation that way.
3. Count the days from the first day of my last period, determine the length of my cycle, and discover my ovulation day based on that.
4. Use an ovulation predictor kit (pee sticks daily) to discover when I'm ovulating.

They all have pros and cons, but after 5 months of option #1 and #3 simultaneously, I was down to option #2 or #4. Here's the thing with taking your basal body temperature - it's only effective if you take it at the exact same time every day, before you get out of bed, and only if you've had several hours of sleep preceding taking your temperature. I learned this from a friend who spent a YEAR doing this method with no avail, and who conceived on her 13th month of trying - the first month using the pee sticks (option #4).

So right then I knew option #2 was not for me. I'm a highly irregular sleeper and often wake several times a night whether it's a bathroom break or caring for a toddler with a bad dream or just because I straight up can't sleep. Plus I wake up at different times every morning, and anything that I need to do FIRST THING before even getting out of bed when I'm still groggy is bound to be forgotten by me. Lastly, several friends who are in the TTC boat with me had shared how the daily temperature taking was stressful and took over their life in one way or another. One friend's doctor even suggested she stop because it was clearly causing stress, which can make it harder to conceive!

So after 5 months of option #1 and #3 and counting out option #2, I decided to try for option #4 - the pee sticks. You can buy them for $1.25 per test (you test daily, remember) at Dollarama or for 5x the price at the drug store. I went with Dollarama. Obvs. For the record, I've bought their pregnancy tests for my first two pregnancies too, and they work!

Every day, between the hours of 10am and 7pm (what a nice window, eh? no stress at doing it the same time every day!) you take 1 test. Urinate on the stick and in 3 minutes it tells you if you're to ovulate within 24 hours. Did you catch that? These tests give you ADVANCED WARNING. Basal body temperature only tells you that you're ovulating at that exact moment or that you have. Neither gives you much time to plan ;)

So I had a slight idea of when I was ovulating based on option #3, though wasn't counting on it being correct since I hadn't gotten pregnant on assuming those dates alone. So I did a test daily for about a week. When it tested negative, there was no pressure. Trying when the sole purpose is to conceive can be a lot of pressure. When it tested positive, we knew within 24-36 hours I would ovulate, so that was go time. With option #1, I never knew what day was THE DAY so if we missed a day there was horrible worry and stress. With option #4, we knew we did the best we could and that was all we could. We knew we gave it our best shot on the day that it truly counts, and the rest was up to God. What a relief!

My review of this TTC method is obviously glowing, but I think the greatest thing I can say is I'm not afraid to use it again. Every month before this when I found out I wasn't pregnant I dreaded another month of trying (amidst the general disappointment of not being pregnant) but this time, I'm not afraid to try again. I'm not afraid to use the pee sticks again. They made trying as stress-free and simple as it could be. And when it's been half a year, that's what you really want :)

What sex would I want baby #3 to be?

disclaimer: I AM NOT PREGNANT. Just to make sure you all know.

Now, When the day hopefully comes, I've thought a lot about my preferences as to whether I'd want a boy or girl. Yes, I know I can't control the outcome. But it's fun to dream up scenarios, and realistically, I think most people have slight preferences but are too afraid to voice them.

When I was pregnant with Lily, I hoped for a girl, and then as I was getting closer to the ultrasound date, I flipped and thought I wanted a boy. She turned out to be a girl. PURE JOY. Also slight weirdo feelings as I adjusted to not having a boy.

Next up, I was pregnant with Oli and could only imagine having another girl. We loved having one girl and assumed a second one was in our future. He turned out to be a boy. I had a hard time. Which is all silly now, because I love my son to pieces and am THRILLED to have a boy, but at the time, I had hoped for a second girl. I pictured us having the same family I grew up in (two girls, no brothers).

Now, I absolutely love our family dynamic. One child of each. Everything is balanced - two boys, two girls. We have clothes and toys for each gender, so whatever baby #3 is (and subsequent children we welcome to our family), we're good. But what do I hope for?

I don't know!!

I could argue both sides. Though I was sad to learn that I was having a boy two years ago, I absolutely love it now and a big part of me would LOVE to have two boys. But then, because my eldest is a girl, I'd love to add a girl to our family now so there is a greater change of the sisters being close. My sister and I were 2 years apart and very close, but any more than that and I've always wondered if we would have been. As adults, sure, I think age means a lot less. But when you're children, age is HUGE.

If it's a GIRL:
Lily and her will be over 3 years apart (depending on when I get pregnant, maybe more). That's a bit much in my mind.

If it's a BOY:
Oli and he would be over 2 years apart, which I used to think was my upper limit. Obviously I couldn't control that though ;)

If it's a GIRL: we have two names that we love. Both start with the same letter and both would have the middle name Rose.

If it's a BOY: we have two names that we love. Both are two syllables and sound great with Lily and Oli.

No matter when the sex is, when we adopt down the road, we would maybe adopt the sex we are "short" to make it an even 2 boys, 2 girls. So based on that, plus the fact that I love being a mama of a girl AND a boy, I seriously don't have a preference. And I love all of our names so much that I would really just love to have four more children - two boys and two girls. HA.

Do you have a preference?
No shame in saying it!