Oli

Olivier (spelled the french way)

Michael (Brad's middle brother)

Robert (Brad's younger brother)

born October 29th @ 7:41pm

thank you Jesus.

aka Oli.

Votes Are In!

November 2nd is everyone's best guess for LG's arrival and I know some people who couldn't be happier about that - 

If LG is born that day, he'll share his birthday with his Poppa - My beloved father in law, Jim :)

(here's Jim and Lily when she was just a few weeks old - what a birthday gift LG would be to him!)

All along when we were given a November 6th due date he's been pulling for that and I think it would be super sweet for his first grandson and he to share a birthday.

We'll see!

glory days

I've all but forgotten about the elements of pregnancy that are bearable and even fun, and I think it's time I get back there... for the sake of the next 9 (potentially 9+) days.

The 2nd trimester. Ah life. 

With a little bump that's big enough to get you positive attention from strangers in stores (such nice people!) and a free seat on the Metro, but small enough to still wear most of your clothes and look super cute. 

With a baby who you may have just found out the sex of, so all you're doing is thinking about the far-off future and planning, but you're also still fit enough to put plans into action (garage sale shopping, sewing, running around, etc).

With energy and mobility and general good feelings (not all moms feel this great in their 2nd and sometimes when you do, the anxiety about the future robs the joy from these weeks, but for me it was happy times).

It feels like forever ago! Look how tiny I was (and how chubby Lily was haha)!

{me @ 20 weeks}

Too bad those blissful weeks are sandwiched between the 1st and 3rd trimesters, amen?

Poll closes tonight @ 12!

Back when I made the poll on my sidebar for when y'all thought LG would be born, I couldn't imagine him going more than a week early.

Then it was made and I had all of these problems.

But it was too late to change the poll since peeps had already started voting.

And it was just as well, because I'm still pregnant, and tomorrow is October 29th - the first day I'd put up as an option to vote on. So, the poll closes as of tonight at midnight, when the clock strikes October 29th aka midnight. Though who is reading baby bump blogs at that hour anyway? So I'll just say today is the last day :)

source, source, source

My vote is still Oct 31st as I'd LOVE an October baby and a Halloween baby (how fun would that be!?) but you can also change your vote up until midnight tonight. Also neat tidbit to keep your fingers crossed for - my OB whom I love is working all day/night Saturday, so if I went into a longer labour tonight or just plain 'ol labour tomorrow at any time, she would deliver LG! It's so rare to actually have the doctor who has been caring for you all these weeks and months when the time comes to deliver since, well, doctor's don't live in the hospital (though Grey's anatomy makes me think that...) and baby's don't come on schedule most of the time.  

So this weekend or Monday, I'd really love to give birth, but whenever he wants to come is okay. *really hard to say, but I promise you, I believe that today*

supposed to...

I've faced the facts that though this pregnancy was far more complicated than Lily's and though I'm feeling far worse, this baby could be happier in mama than out of mama, and I may even go LATE with this one.

First babies are supposed to be the on-time-or-late ones, so everybody said (which drove me crazy, people are so free with their opinions that may or may not be discouraging, eh moms?) 

Lily came at the end of my 38th week. Aka right around now for this pregnancy. And then first labours are also supposed to be long. Minimum 12 hours I was told by more than one person (none of whom were doctors or midwives). Lily came 7 hours after my water broke. Without pitocin and with an epidural (which can slow labour, hence why many ladies who opt for an epidural also get pitocin to speed things up). 

Then there's the additional babes one may pop out - shorter pregnancies and shorter labours, so they say.

And I'm believing none of it.

LG may be late or on time, or delivered in my 39th week. All things Lily wasn't supposed to be, but was, and all things he's highly likely to be but may not. Babies can break the mold people! And I think I have two kids who don't like to beat to the drum of supposed to. 

I'm also preparing myself for a longer labour. If LG does come on time or late, he'll probably be bigger than his sis and that could slow down labour too. I'm also slightly worried he could be a 10 pounder or more (at my 32 week ultrasound he was suggested to be over 5 lbs) an labour could be harder (Lily flew out!) or even not possible (don't have the biggest hips) and a c-section may be our lot. As I've said before, I'm ok with that and we don't have strong feelings against c-section, I'm just preparing for this labour and delivery to not be the exact same that Lily's was. Every baby and birth is unique.

So today I have 10 days left, supposedly. Maybe I have more, hopefully I have less.

Maybe today's the day. The day of my 38 week appointment with Lily, I went in, had an internal exam and my membranes scraped (sorry for the harsh picture, I swear that's the medical term!), and went to the hospital hours later with a leaking water. 7 hours later we had Lily. 

And today I have that very appointment. 

Ah. If only they played by the rules and were predictable :)

having some, adopting some

Our plan was always to have all of our kids biologically. I've talked about that a bit. 

But then when I became a mom, my heart for orphans grew - how could it not? My heart for all babies and children and mothers did, and that has to include orphaned children and their birth mothers. 

But after Lily, we knew we weren't ready to throw in the towel with biological reproduction either. Even though being pregnant was not my cup of tea! After this baby though, we're 99% sure we're done having kids biologically. But not done having kids. Not done growing our family. 

Though the blogosphere has introduced me to many families who "have some and adopt some", most people I know who have adopted, have only adopted. They don't also have biological children (they may plan to in the future but they don't yet).  The other night though, we met a guy who was in town for a conference and staying with our friends. He has SIX children (yelp!) and two are adopted. I loved hearing him talk about his kids - how his "bio kids" responded to all the sudden having a twin (they twinned their oldest and second oldest kids and the kids loved it). 

At this point I have no idea what the future for our family holds.

We're open to age and race (we're not going on the longest known list in local adoption for a white newborn, in fact we're partial to neither!) and even number (sibling sets have a harder time being adopted, and oddly enough that's also the most appealing to us).

But timing is completely not known or decided right now. LG is the imminent priority, and he'll be making us a family of 4 any day now, but it's also something impossible to take off the table and our hearts entirely.  

God's put it there and he's not taking it off.

As we wait to see what He has for our family, and we take our time adjusting to being a family of 4, we'll be praying about the future. Enjoy these amazing videos of families who have had some and adopted some with me.

Home At Last from dan owens on Vimeo.

on birth plans...

We made one the first time around.

Didn't follow it.

Felt horrible and like a failure for not doing so, too.

This time around, our plan is to trust our doctors, see how we're feeling, see how baby's doing, and go with the flow. 

I'm assuming an epidural is in the works, and that a C-section is not (baby's head is down as of this week), but no matter what happens, it's going to be an amazing day, in 15 days of less :)

I'm so excited to give birth again, to meet a new baby again, and to be part of the incredible story of a human's life again, but I'm not holding too tightly to any which way of doing it. Recently I read an article on what a crying shame it is for a woman's birth plan to not be followed through, and honestly, it made me sad. It's only that great a shame if the most important thing that day is the way one gives birth and not the end result. I think those opinions set us up for failure if everything doesn't go exactly to plan. If our bodies, or our pain tolerance, or our babies, or our doctor doesn't agree with THE PLAN, that somehow the experience is ruined.

Nothing will ruin BDAY, so long as the baby born is healthy. I say, write one if it will help you process and prepare for birth, but hold it with an extremely open hand and forgive yourself if when it doesn't go according to plan.

Loved the recent episode of Up All Night, where Regan and Chris have the baby. It made me cry even though it's a comedy (doesn't take much these days!), and laugh because I remember being just like her - holding so tightly to my birthing plan and feeling horrible when things didn't pan out. Thankfully before BDAY was through, Regan (and I) came to terms with the right priorities (healthy baby, healthy mom, no matter what) and weren't as devastated when we saw our plans fly out the window as we were when the first started taking flight.

Watch and enjoy!

in 20 days of less

In 20 days of less, I'll be a mama again.
In 20 days or less, I'll have a boy in my house, and I don't mean Bradford!!
In 20 days or less, Lily will have a brother.
In 20 days or less, we'll be a family of 4.
In 20 days or less, I'll no longer be pregnant.
In 20 days or less...

Unless as a sick joke of some kind, LG decides to come AFTER his due date... but after this much grief I surely don't hope or expect that (did you hear that LG? did you?!).

I'm struggling big time for perspective.
Haven't been sleeping well.
Lily has been waking around 4am each night this week in tears - not hungry, not wanting to be held (maybe just teething pain, not sure) and I have a hard time falling back to sleep once I'm up.
I've been grouchy (just ask my poor husband).
I'm getting frustrated and growing stir-crazy stuck in my house.

20 days or less though, seems like such a brief time. Less than 3 weeks. I can count that on my fingers and toes. I can picture 20 days. It's not even a month. I really need to say that back to myself again and again.

20 days or less.

knit booties for my fall/winter boy

AH! these booties are THE sweetest!

I so wish I could knit, or really knew anyone who could knit something this high caliber and had endless time on their hands to stock my children's closets... because, hey, knit things...in winter...on babies... oh gosh.

check out this Etsy shop I just saw and immediatly fell in love: 

Pleasantly Plump Knits

drooling over all of these little creations today as I bundle up Lily for church...

37 week ponderings

The finish line is in sight!!

I'm 37 weeks on Sunday, a mere 30 hours from now!

That means, I've *basically* made it to full-term!

I really didn't know how this past week would go. Part of me was so hoping to go into labour because I'm in extreme discomfort and that part is only getting worse... But most of me wanted to hold on for dear life because I know it's what's best for LG. Though I know many babies who have been born over 3 weeks early (so technically not at the 37 week/"full term" mark), and who are thriving and totally healthy, I did want to last as long as I (and LG) could. 

My doctor gave me some guidelines to follow and I've been a good patient. I had to miss church last week which wasn't great, but I didn't have a ride, and the stairs in the metro are very unforgiving to me. Thankfully this week I have a ride. Especially because Brad is preaching. Especially because I miss church and missed it last week. And especially because it could be my last Sunday for a few if I go into labour next week.

***

I need to write something because I'm hoping it will help convince my pained body and conflicted heart:

I'm thankful to still be pregnant with LG.

I'm thankful because it's what my doctor, whom I trust, recommended and hoped for. I'm thankful because it's what's best for him (to be born at 37 weeks or after). I'm thankful because I'm resting in God's perfect will for me and our family.

My body wants him out. My bad attitude (often) wants him out. My impatience wants him out.

But I'm thankful.

Thankful

Thankful

Thankful

Really needing to write and believe that more :)

***

In other news, my fingers have grown to the sausage-like state where my rings no longer fit. I'm wearing them around my neck and Lily loves to play with them. Our house is much more settled than it was last week too, so bringing home a baby would be easier than it would have been 7 days ago. All in all, we're feeling really excited and ready for LG. Not a glimmer of nerves (except maybe for the pain pre-epidural!), just thorough joy that in a few days or weeks, we'll have a baby boy in our nest.

We are a blessed people, us Morrices.

36 week ponderings

1. One more week and I'm in the clear
2. I'm really getting tired of bed rest
3. I really wish we had a car so I could leave the house...
4. I can't believe I'm going to have a baby that isn't Lily
5. I'm nervous about my water breaking
6. I'm nervous about not being able to get an epidural or not making it to the hospital (now that I have felt labour pains, there's no way you could PAY ME to attempt natural birth!)
7. The nursery is so not ready (Lily's big girl bed doesn't come til Nov and it's notpainted with the gray stripe as we plan to have it, nor is anything hung on the walls. Good thing he'll be in our room, which IS ready for the first several weeks)

the term "full term"

in 1.5 weeks I'll be "full term"

"full term" is a good thing. for mama and for baby. but God's timing is GOOD too. and his may disagree with the term "full term"...

today I had my one-month-to-go appointment. Literally 1 month to the day before LG is due. I could barely get on the table I was in so much pain and he was so low I felt as if I could feel his head between my legs LITERALLY. Never had that with the Lilster, but this is a whole nother beast. because of the constant discomfort and close proximity between childbirths, my doctor has been *slightly* concerned all along, so she's done more vaginal exams than last time, just to keep an eye on things. and today, she kept her eye on a cervix that's been dilating... 2cm dilated to be exact. 

with Lily I was 2cm dilated for two weeks before she was born, nearly 2 weeks early. with LG, we'll see. but as second babies often come earlier than first babies, and are shorter labours (and L was only 7 hours from water breaking to heart breaking first sight of her), it's not ideal to be 2cm dilated a month before the due date... 

my doc was pretty concerned that I could go into labour this or next week. she (and I) would love to see me carry LG to "full term", but she has asked me to REALLY cut back on activity to strengthen the odds of not going into labour...like...now. meaning, as little lifting Lily as possible and no sex. the rest I've already been doing (staying off my feet, not traveling, etc). so in 1.5 weeks when I'm "full term" I'd love to still be carrying LG on the inside, but again, we'll see.

other than the whole "full term" concerns, we do feel ready to meet this guy! his bassinet is in our room, waiting. his craigslist svan bouncer is in our living room, waiting. my hospital bag is packed, waiting. his hospital bag is packed, waiting. his sister is clueless, but his parents are eager. waiting. ideally (in non medical reasoning), we'd have another week also, because we're not 100% moved into our new place, but emotionally, we're excited, not nervous in the least, and very anticipatory of his arrival. 

Hope to see you soon baby boy, "full term" or not, in God's perfect timing :)