Today I dragged myself out the door, against my own will, mostly to satisfy my husband.
See Brad had booked me a prenatal massage that I was skeptical about (I usually get massages at a spa near our house, and this one would require that I take the metro, plus walk for 15 minutes, both things I was strongly opposed to given the fatigue and nausea I was experiencing). Oh and he booked me one last week which I canceled so this really was necessary. So I went. Urg.
Off to a rocky start, I knock on the door (yes, it was at a woman's house...kinda sketch I thought) and she says "Oh I had you down for 4:00pm"! Note, it was 2:45pm. Are you kidding me? Thankfully Elise was able to take me anyway, saying she could push another appointment back. And I'm like GEE THANKS. I would hope I wasn't going to suffer for your clerical error. Add emotional to the list of symptoms, though this was all in my head mind you, not actually coming out in the form of words, though my face may or may not have given away my true feelings.
SO we begin. I tell her, as I do all of my massage therapists that I'd prefer she focus on my back, shoulders, arms, and face since I enjoy that the most thoroughly and am not ticklish as I am from the waste down. She calmly and perfectly nicely explains that she's "been doing this for 10 years and will once again, today, be doing a FULL body massage." What? I thought it was up to the customer. Who is this crazy lady? Aren't I paying? Aren't massages supposed to be relaxing? I'll be falling off the table, doesn't she get that?
So I continue to explain that it's usually not a problem and that I may have a hard time relaxing due to the extreme tickling that I was sure would take place. She asks me to "trust her". I tell her, and mostly my inner bitter self that I will try.
She begins. Ahhh lavender, my favourite scent, fills the room. She STARTS with the legs (let's get it over with I guess?) but here's the thing: I LOVE IT. She isn't giving a normal relaxation massage, she's giving a prenatal massage, and it's actually different! I had expected the same old same old, relaxing if they do it my way kind of deal... but Elise knew FAR more than I about what I needed. She continues and I'm in heaven. With my head down I was also experiencing worse nausea than before, but all the sudden it dissipates. I feel amazing. Not sick, not achy, not tired, not nauseous. AMAZING. ALIVE.
Massages in the past feel great but leave me feeling tired and groggy and wanting to stay on the table forever instead of facing the cold harsh outdoors. But this was different, after the 1 hour was up I felt so much healthier than I had in weeks, like I could conquer the world. I craved food (and the last little while all food has seemed disgusting to me except cereal and plain pasta... I know, how tasty...) I had the energy to jump off the table and I even planned to do some groceries on the way home. I started planning dinner for Brad and I. I started thinking about what we could do on this Friday evening (see the last few nights have resulted in me sleeping by 9pm). An hour surely had made a monumental difference on my health and life as it were. ONE HOUR! ONE MASSAGE. ELISE!
I also had my first positive reaction to my young age by a Montreal-er. Here in Montreal the birth-rate is in the negatives and the culture is such that people don't get married, don't have kids, and don't settle down, unless it's an accident or they're over 35. Generally speaking. Elise, who is also a natural path and certified pre-natal masseuse (one of the only ones in the downtown area, probably because of the low birth-rate I'd imagine), was thrilled to hear I was only 23.
"Your labour will surely be easier than many of my other clients who are in their 40s and having their first baby"
score.
"...I'm just so excited about the health of your baby! Your young age will drastically impact your baby's health for the positive"
sweet.
"...you'll find that as the first trimester winds down many of the symptoms will dissipate and due to your age you'll find you have even more energy than the average first time mom in her 30s or 40s."
i'm counting on it.
"...and if you haven't already thought about a natural birth, I'd implore you to think about it. Many women, especially my clients in their 30s and 40s' bodies can't take it as easily as a young woman like yourself. Because you're so healthy, young, flexible (yes she said this!), and long-limbed (whatever that means!), you could easily do this! With the right breathing exercises, there's no reason you shouldn't consider a natural, though more painful, birth. So many women just can't take it and have no faith in themselves even if they can... Please consider it!"
done.
Maybe it was the fact that this afternoon began in pain and grogginess and ended in motivation, comfort, and a new found energy, but I'm seriously considering what Elise said. Amidst the discomfort I'm experiencing now, drugs seem like the only answer, and easiest solution. But am I just throwing in the towel before the fight even starts? I know it will be excruciating to give birth, but who said it should be easy?
Elise also offered me some natural ideas to help with my nausea that I'm excited to give a try. I've tried ginger tea but the taste now is just too much and I haven't seen positive enough of results to continue gulping it down. But sesame seeds? Love those, and they apparently aid the hormone-induced nausea. I'll definitely try anything at this point, in the haze of nausea-free happiness I'm currently dwelling in.
What a great day :)