boys and girls

Most of you know that I'm a girl's girl. My hobbies include shopping and baking and I have never even thought about the reality that I could be the mom of boys, or even all boys.

I think it all began when my parents didn't have sons. And then my aunts and uncles closest to us didn't either. It was a girl's party. My cousins Maggie, Sarah, and Alysha were the extended family we spent the most time with, leaving zero room for boys to enter the brain. Then there were my dolls/barbies/imaginary friends: ALL GIRLS. Noticing a trend here? Not to mention I've never been the girl who's best buddies with guys... All my closest friends throughout the years have been Caily's, Tess's, Missy's, Catherine's, and Jamie's... GIRLS.

Naturally this is could all change in 6 weeks and I think it's just hitting me recently. Of course Brad is probably the most comfortable with boys since he has only brothers and I'll be thrilled no matter what the sex is, but part of me is a bit nervous of the potential of having a boy, or down the road, all boys. Can I swing it? I'm no hockey mom and I don't really "get" boys. But who knows?

At church I taught Sunday school today and there are two boys (brothers) who I adore. Miguel and Manuel. I thought to myself today: if my kids are like these, I could do boys! Often I get epiphanies like this, you know seeing the great things that boys bring to the table that girls can't, or thinking about how great it would be to "gain a daughter instead of lose a son" as they say in marriage, or the possibility for my future daughters having an older brother always looking out for them. I never had that and always was slightly jealous of those who did.

So we'll see. My 20 week ultra sound where I get to know the sex is in 6 weeks. I'll keep you all posted, and in the meantime, any advice on boys is welcome!

mm @ 14 weeks!

Ooo a lemon! But sweet not sour. Sweet because it's been over a week since I've last thrown up, sweet because my baby bump is noticeable making it more fun being treated and recognized as a pregnant woman (a lady on the train asked me how far along I was yesterday: MADE MY DAY), and sweet because 14 weeks is a good chunk of time. In other words, I DID IT :)

The 1st trimester is officially finished (they count these things in a really weird way, counting the 2 weeks before you conceive as part of the 40 total weeks of pregnancy)! I'm now a 2nd trimester prego, meaning I start more regular appointments with my doctor, I get to hear the heartbeat at my appointment on March 2nd (NEXT WEEK!) and in about 6 weeks we'll know if we're having a baby boy or girl!

IN OTHER NEWS...
I even chose the colours for our nursery which won't actually be in this house (Lord willing). We're hoping to be able to buy an apartment/condo/flat in the Fall, a couple of months after MM is born. So for the first couple months we're not going to move out our office and guest room from the additional bedroom, we'll just all party together with MM in his/her bassinet since they'll be feeding pretty much around the clock anyway.

This was kind of difficult since I had to choose the colours not really knowing what the room size or shape would be, but we went with orange and light green (not those exact shades though!). This part was so fun especially since I'll get to use some of the beautiful fabrics with my new sewing machine to make baby bedding, curtains, decorative pillows and am even going to cover a foot stool. I can't show pictures of the fabric now because I left it at home for my cousin to deliver when she comes since I was already on the train with lots of luggage, but it is inspired by rooms like this:

grandparents and belly buttons

*sigh*
I'm at home right now for a couple of days with my parents {note: my old home in Fonthill, not my new home in Montreal} and am head over heals for their grandparent tendencies!

Dad proudly rubbed my belly as soon as I came in the door and then urged Mom to "get the bag out, get it out!!" and Mom reappeared in a minute with a bag of toys they've been saving that friends have given them and even Baby Genius DVDs! They're both so excited and it's making me even more excited, which is a good thing since lately I've almost been forgetting that I'm actually having a BABY in 6 months. Wow. Reality check.

In other news, my belly button morphed in the last 24 hours and is now unrecognizable. I've always has an "inny" and still technically do, but there's no difference now, the skin is all the same "level" if that makes sense. I can run my hand over my belly button and don't feel any difference. Also, I used to have a belly button ring in high school, and if I still had it, it would have no skin to pierce since my tummy is starting to bulge. And all this happened in a DAY. It scared me at first, then fascinated, and now I'm just plain old excited since it's another sign of a growing belly, thus baby :)

Dad's now taking me to the local fabric store to look for fabrics for me to put in my nursery - talk about desperate to spend time together, I think it's the last thing he wants to do! Loving home right now so much!!

mm @ 13 weeks!

Hello MM! You're the size of a shrimp! Weird! The craziest thing I learned this week about MM is that at 13 weeks, MM developed fingerPRINTS. MM already has fingers and even finger nails last week, but fingerprints is beyond cool. I wonder what they looks like? I can't wait to put MM's hand and foot prints in ink and frame them, and then do the same with all of my babies :)
WHat an amazing development... Baby's growing inside of you is truly miraculous :)

getting excited

Recently I've been frustrated with feeling ill and not seeing any strong "results" of my symptoms (i.e. not a huge baby bump that people can recognize). It also has just seemed like FOREVER since I took that positive pregnancy test way back in 2009 (just saying '09 makes it seem even more long ago!)

Either way, I was loosing sight of what's actually happening inside of me. Growing a baby and all. So I took some great advice from Jamie and started getting excited about the baby to be born in August. And sure enough even little things like looking for cribs on craigslist, deciding what baby things (i.e. strollers) we want, and talking about middle names (we've decided our girl first names for the next TWO girls, but boys are still hard, for first or middle names) has got my moods much higher :)

It's getting more real to me as we went public with the pregnancy last week, plus the 13 week mark is tomorrow and I am starting to actually FEEL pregnant (and not just sick). I think part of not getting too excited was a defense mechanism in case anything horrible were to happen, but I'm deciding each day now to be thrilled and anticipatory about this and not worry about what will probably never happen.

COME mini morrice!!!

great irony

I noticed something today that made be both happy and horribly frustrated at the same time.
Generally once winter comes around, my horrible immune system will crash at least once. From November to around March I'm bound to have one or several cases of strep throat, a serious cold and cough, or perhaps even the flu. Every winter.

Except this one.

Though my days are (still!) filled with nausea, dizziness, and extreme fatigue, I haven't been "sick" in a non-pregnancy sort of way ONCE this whole winter season. NOT ONCE. I was realizing that after I was sick once again yesterday and was sent home from work where I then slept for four straight hours, not even interrupting my sleep that evening. I am one tired girl. But I'm only experiencing pregnancy symptoms, I've not once been sick!

This totally blows my mind. How is it that this may be my HEALTHIEST winter in history? Anyone else would look at me and say it's my sickest by far. Lots of nausea and vomit usually mean a serious flu, but I know it's not been that but it's been the pregnancy since no other flu symptoms have existed. So ironic.

I guess I'm one healthy pregnant woman. barf.

Popular MM on Facebook

Posting my pregnancy on Facebook was so interesting.

Firstly, if I were having this baby five years ago, I wouldn't have posted it on Facebook and it wouldn't have mattered. But today, it's such a social network of communication in my life that I couldn't not. Weird. With our company, generally is anyone gets pregnant, engaged, has a baby, etc, they send out a mass-e-mail to all the employers to let them know and everyone can wish them well. We're debating whether or not to even bother.

Brad, who's not on Facebook was shocked at how many of our company's staff are on my Facebook. People he knows well better than I do. People I've never met. People we see once a year or less. He obviously was pro the mass-e-mail. But when he ran through a list of people he was sure weren't on my "friends list" every single one of them was on it, not to mention they or their spouse had already written well wishes to us and MM. Crazy.

In 2 days we got 35 "likes" and 61 comments about Mini-Morrice! That's more than when we announced our engagement. Needless to say our unborn child is more popular than we are :)

things I'll "need"

I'm really skeptical about this checklist I just found. Is it possible that a new mom "needs" all of these things? It makes me overwhelmed for many reasons: how will I pay for it all? where will I put it all? how do you even use some of these items, etc. I know I have family and friends who are already excited about a baby shower for me, how this is a LOT of stuff and I'm hoping some of you more experienced women can tell me what's NOT important to have/add to a baby registry.

The Checklist as per The Bump website:
Layette (what's a Layette?)

• 4-8 bodysuits or onesies (wide head openings and loose legs)
• 4-8 undershirts or vests (snaps at neck or wide head openings, snaps under crotch)*
• 4-8 one-piece pajamas*
• 2 blanket sleepers for winter baby
• 1-3 sweaters or jackets (front buttoned)
• 1-3 rompers or other dress-up outfits*
• 4-7 socks or booties (shoes are unnecessary until baby walks)*
• 1-3 hats (broad-brimmed for summer baby, soft cap that covers ears for winter baby)*
• Bunting bag or fleece suit for winter baby
• Swimsuit for summer baby
• Gentle laundry detergent

Nursery

• Crib, cradle and/or bassinet* (Slats no more than 2 3/8 inches apart, Corner posts no more than 1/16 of an inch above frame, No cutouts in headboard or footboard, Top rails at least 26 inches above mattress
• Firm, flat mattress fit snugly in crib (less than two fingers should fit between mattress and crib)*
• 1-3 washable crib mattress pads
• Bumper pads covering inside perimeter (secured by at least six ties or snaps, with all extra length removed)
• 2-4 fitted crib sheets*
• 4-6 soft, light receiving blankets*
• 1-2 heavier blankets (for colder climates)
• Crib mobile with black and white images (remove when baby can support self on hands and knees)
• Baby monitor
• Toy basket
• Swing or bouncy chair

Changing (I removed change table because we just won't have the room)

• cushioned changing pad for low dresser or bureau, with safety strap or railing (yes to this)
  
• Diaper pail (do I need this if I'm using cloth diapers?)
  
• Diaper pail liners
• Diaper cream*
• Unscented baby wipes (causes less irritation)*
• Soft washcloths*
• Tissues (for you)
• 6-10 dozen cloth diapers and 6-8 diaper covers, or 2-3 large boxes of disposable newborn-size diapers*
  

Bath

• Baby bathtub
• Baby soap*
• Baby shampoo
• 2-4 soft towels or hooded baby towels
• Baby hairbrush (for what hair? do they know MM's parents?)
  
• Soft washcloths (Good Tip from bump: use a different color or pattern than your diaper washcloths!)

Feeding

• Thank goodness I already got rid of most items on this list since I'm breastfeeding.
• 4-8 bibs
• Burp cloths
  
• High chair
• 2-4 pacifiers

For nursing moms:

• 1-3 nursing bras (Breasts swell following birth, so start with one size larger than your maternity bra. Wait until size settles down -- about two weeks after birth -- to purchase additional bras.)
• Nursing pads
• Nipple cream
• Nursing pillow
• Pump (even if you plan only to nurse, a pump will allow you to leave milk for baby if you want or need to separate)*
• Milk storage bags*

Medicine Cabinet

• Baby nail clippers or blunt scissors*
• Baby thermometer*
• Bulb syringe/nasal aspirator
• Medicine dropper or spoon with measurements
• Infant acetaminophen (Tylenol)
• Saline nasal drops
• Baby gas drops
• Disinfecting hand soap (for you)

Travel

• Infant or convertible car seat* (woo Graco snugride, this I alreayd know which one I want)!
• Stroller (also already decided on this one - am looking for a second hand one though b/c they're PRICEY)
• Diaper bag
• Changing pad
• Baby carrier/sling

For Mom

• Ice packs (in case of tearing during birth or swelling after)
• 2-3 week supply of ultra absorbent sanitary pads
• Panty liners
• Hemorrhoid wipes and cream (GREAT)

mm @ 12 weeks

Now we're getting somewhere! Although this can be kind of deceiving. We have two limes in our fruit bowl, both with bright futures in guacamole and Brazilian beer (for baby daddy not mommy, don't fret!), and they are two completely different sizes. One is almost half the size of the other, though both are smaller than a lemon. I like to imagine that the lime I see up there beside that american quarter is the big lime. It looks pretty big. Plus it's just so much more exciting thinking about the big lime being my baby, because it's so substantial! Like wow, it will eventually result in a baby in my arms substantial. *shivers*.

12 weeks is a cause for celebration for us. We have had dear friends experience miscarriages right around the time we began trying, and it's been a fear I've had to fight almost daily since finding out we were pregnant. Knowing full well that we have other friends who experienced complications after the 12-week mark, and that the 1st trimester ending is by no means a sign of the pregnancy being perfect, it was still a milestone.

I know I'll have to continue fighting the fear that something will go wrong (because hey, I can't do anything but stay healthy myself and take those horse-tranquilizer-sized-prenatal vitamins) and trust God that he's in control. But it sure feels good to have a lime-sized baby inside and that the world now knows it :)

FREEDOM :)

No more lies, no more sneaking around, no more pretending, no more hiding, no more secrets:

MY PREGNANCY IS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE

eeee! It feels so good!
What did people do before the facebook status?

awkward things:

1) trying to look "natural" when you're taking a picture of yourself in a mirror

2) the fact that my baby bump right now may resemble eating too much Eggs Benedict instead of a human that's in my womb... (reason #3 I want to tell people, to clear the air!)




(dinner from last night= YUM)

Question:

Why are ALL the baby items (i.e. strollers, car seats, cribs, crib bedding, decor) so UGLY? Everything is pastel with bunnies or some retro plaid, and I've never seen more frills in my life!

Call me crazy, but Baby Olivia (Loni's new bundle of joy) doesn't even see colour yet (unless it's a recent development) and she doesn't have strong vision beyond what's immediately in front of her. So why oh why do we decorate entire baby rooms in these cartoon-y baby colours that I'd never put in the rest of my house? The baby can't even SEE the colours or theme most likely. The parents are the ones who spend most waking time in the nursery and have good vision (with the aid of contact lenses!) so why not decorate in a way that can please both baby and parent?

I really like what Andy and Loni did with their kid's room. It's covered in toys - after all kids LIVE there and no one's expecting a baby room to not have toys, but for the most part, it's not overly "baby" or "kiddie". It matches the rest of their house. The walls are a mix between beige and olive green, the furniture is white and wooden, and their bedding is gender neutral - maybe partly because Matty and Dahlia switch bunks often :) The point is, I LOVE it that I walk into their fun, warm, kid's room and it's not like chuckie cheese or baby land, after all they're only babies for a short time and there will likely be more than 1 child in the room at a time, so for us, it's got to be universal.

Like these:

not sure anymore...

I've been thinking.

Doubting.

Maybe I shouldn't tell the world we're pregnant yet.

Maybe I should wait for another few weeks. I can't wait until I have an ultrasound, I'll be 5 months pregnant by then. I just don't know. It's such a BIG step. Point of no return.

the BIG reveal

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!!!

Saturday February 13th is the BIG DAY, I'm going "public" with the pregnancy!

No more lies about why I'm not feeling so good, or having to miss work things (my work people know, but not my students), or why I'm forever wearing yoga pants :)

There's something so freeing about the 1st trimester being over, but once again worry and anxiety will never officially be something I don't have to fight out. I was telling Loni and Jess yesterday, I told myself "as long as I can get through the 1st trimester I won't worry about this baby!" and what a lie that was. I'll never stop having that healthy concern for the kids that I bore and love, but there's also the unhealthy side, the not trusting God side, that I so easily succumb to.

So with the 1st trimester over, I can foresee a million dangers and heart breaks with this baby that I already love. But for today, I can say, I'm trusting God. For today :)

mm @ 11 weeks!

the size of a fig, but far less yummy.

Next week will be the big public reveal and I'm really excited. Finally the 1st trimester is over! It seems like it's taken FOREVER to be honest, with little to "show" for it since most people wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me that I am indeed a baby mama. It's frustrating because I know, and my old jeans know (and haven't fit for over a month), and the midsection weight gain isn't invisible, but that's exactly what it looks like - weight gain. horray. please come soon baby bump :)

ALL GOOD THINGS :)

Lately the gravy train has just been dumping it's goodness on me! I have posted about many of these things (hello cheap maternity clothes that are ADORABLE, finding a terrific pre-natal-massage-goddess, and feeling slightly better than last month!) but some are new even for you!

I posted bit ago on the side bar about some sermons I've been pondering and to be honest, when I first added them they were recommended to me but I hadn't yet listened to them. Perhaps not wise. Wouldn't have done that with a book or movie, but hey. But before I loose all credibility, I did listen to the one titled Women as Home Builders and can say I LOVE IT. I've always wanted to stay home with my babies and wanting 4, that will mean many years before they're all in school full-time! It could be because my mom stayed home with me until I was in school full-time and I loved those days. I can remember maybe 2 things from before the age of six, but one of them was peanut butter and banana sandwiches with mom in the afternoon. Just us. Bliss. Or it could be because even though I love my job, there's never been anything more appealing to me than being a mom (and some people will hear that and cringe. No judgment from me, but likewise, please don't judge). I don't know what the exact catalyst is or was, but the sermon appealed to me because it was a talk on women, especially those who stay home with their kids.

Great reminders were given: Being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean sitting in your pjs watching soaps all day while your kids eat hard Mr. Noodles from the package, utilizing the time you have with them to teach them and not just entertain them, etc.

Great cautions were given: How do I spend my free time right now? With a baby coming, and most of my current responsibilities (minus my job) staying in tact, is my current lifestyle sustainable? UM NO. Good good caution resulting in me decising to spend WAY less time online among other things.

and Great encouragements were given: You're not loosing significance because you're not going into an office every morning and you're not lazy because you're not working (if you do the whole "home builder" instead of the "home lounger" style of being a stay-at-home-mom). Ahhhh all things I needed to hear.

If this kind of thing appeals to you, do check out the link. Was one of the good things of my week, and there were many :)

Other things are:
1. I'm 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow and the symptoms are actually slowing (as promised by that illusive 3 month mark but hard to believe in the midst of puke and pity)! I'm tired like woah still, but the nausea is much more manageable and I haven't thrown up in over a week. Could it have been 2 weeks? GLORY.

2. My doctor's appointment with Dr. Hall was pushed up a week from March 2nd to February 23rd (yay!)

3. My Quebec health card has been renewed and I'm good to go under this kooky government (let me tell you, I feel like I've been jumping firey hoops since I got here) giving me heaps more assurance that if anything goes wrong (or my appointment gets pushed forward - hello!), I'm a recognized Quebecor with insurance to boot.

4. I'm going home February 23rd (after the appointment) for a couple days to hang out with my mom and dad and Caily who will be in the neighborhood, and it will be a pure love-fest with relaxing as the top priority (and there will be a jacuzzi that I am already excited about)

5. With this new commitment to avoiding idleness (thus spending less time online) I'm getting SO MUCH done! Even with sleeping way more (and we're talking several hours more each night) and having less energy, limiting my online time (because TV isn't so much of a big time waster for me - although it will be for the 2 weeks of the Olympics, but let's be honest, it's my civil duty to cheer on team Canada....it's not really an option), I've been able to keep the house tidy and clean, spend time reading the Bible each day, work longer house, and do dinners and not become overwhelmed with the every day (which was happening on a semi-regular basis with the pregnancy, work, home, etc). VICTORY.

14 things to do in the 28 days of February

1. watch Valentines Day (Feb 12th)
2. Olympics Opening Ceremony (Feb 12th also...yikes a clash...)
3. watch Olympics every spare minute I'm not sleeping or working
   
4. continue saving so we can buy a house before next winter
   
5. get over prego-nausea so I can start doing prego-yoga
6. visit my hometown and family in Fonthill, ON on "Reading Week" which is more of a slow-paced-work-from-home kind of week with my job
7. make valentine's for the girls in my DGs
8. get back my taste for foods and energy for baking and bake yummy heart-shaped goodies
9. enjoy winter in my new Hailey Boots from North Face (my birthday present from October '09 which just arrived!)
10. buy a hot glue gun and do more crafting since point 7 likely won't happen for more than 1 day
11. read lots of books (any suggestions?)
12. start accumulating baby stuff (we're not letting ourselves buy anything for the baby until the 2nd trimester)
13. start wearing more prego clothes (note previous post, LOVE the deals!)
14. think of a great surprise for Brad to show him how much I love him <3>